The Acting Page : Agents & Managers

Dealing With Parents

If you're under 18, one of the biggest things in your career will be your parents. If your parents are supportive, you're off to a great start. If not, you might have some work to do. Here are some tips for dealing with your parents.

What do I do if my parents don't want me to act or don't take me seriously?

It's a parent's job to be protective of their children, and chances are, they're just trying to protect you from the dark side of Hollywood. They aren't completely off the mark - acting can really take its toll on child actors, so while you may really want to pursue acting, it's also important that you maintain a life outside of acting. Keep non-actor friends, find a non-acting-related hobby, and never equate your worth with how successful you are as an actor. But, with that warning out of the way, it is possible to make things work with your parents.

Here's what I recommend you do if your parents aren't supportive of your career:

Ask your parents to sit down with you for a heart-to-heart talk. Choose a moment when you know they aren't stressed out, tired, or in a bad mood. Sit somewhere quiet and comfy, and be as honest as possible. Prepare yourself by reading as many books as you can and organizing your thoughts before you bring the topic up. Your maturity and knowledge should impress your parents.

Explain to them that you understand their concerns about acting as career. Most parents are worried about the fact that acting is not a very secure career, so the best thing to do is assure your parents that you have a back-up plan. Let them know you're going to finish school and continue to work hard while you pursue acting. You can also point out that actors like Jodie Foster and Natalie Portman have pursued very prestigious educations while still working in Hollywood.

Point out that although there are many child actors who do turn to drugs, smoking, and other bad influences, there are child actors who are doing fine. Shirley Temple went on to be involved in politics and became an embassador. Assure your parents that you want to be resposible in your life, and that they've taught you well so far and you'd like them to continue guiding you as you pursue acting (and make sure you really do let them guide you - parents do know a thing or two about life!).

Be prepared with a list of reasons why you want to be an actor. Explain each of them to your parents, and let them know how much this means to you. Make sure they know that you really want them to be a part of your dream.

If you can, get a copy of the actor's regulations and child labor laws from your local union office. Let your parents browse through them so that they are reassured that the actor's unions offer strict protection for minors, as well as benefits such as retirement plans. In fact, I believe SAG has a special handbook specifically for parents of child actors, so you could also ask about that.

Tell your parents exactly what you need from them. If you'll be needing them to drive you to auditions or classes, tell them that. Or if you need help paying for classes, let them know. If you just need their support and need them to stop saying you'll never make it, make sure they understand that. It's very possible that your parents just don't understand what being an actor involves. You could even direct them to this website as a starting point.

It's very possible that even after having a serious talk with your parents, they may still not want you to be an actor. In that case, it's difficult to say what you should do, as it will depend on each person. If you have an older sibling, a friend, or another relative who could drive you to auditions, then perhaps you can get them to help you. If you're able to do things on your own, then perhaps you can pursue acting that way. Otherwise, you may just have to wait until you legally can follow your dreams on your own, although I do hope that everyone's parents will be understanding and open!

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