 |
| FAMOUS BADGERS FROM HISTORY. |
 |
| KING SPUNKY I. Spunky is the first, and to date, only Badger to be crowned King of England. In 1509 Spunky fatally mauled then King, Terry I, who left no rightful heir. In a panic, Spunky was crowned. His reign lasted just two days before he buggered off into the woods and was never seen again. Certain fanatical groups believe Spunky will return in England's darkest hour. |
 |
| PRESIDENT MUNGO. Mungo is the first, and to date, only Badger to be elected President of the USA. In 1861 Mungo became a national hero after unwittingly foiling an assassination attempt on then President, James Buchanan; the assassin, trying to creep up on the President, fell into Mungo's sett. When Buchanan's term ended, Mungo was elected on a wave of euphoria. His tenure lasted just two days before even the Americans realised it was a stupid idea to have a Badger as President. He did however make himself hugely popular and established a trend by declaring war on a random foreign country incapable of withstanding the military might of the USA. |
 |
| POOKY. Pooky is the first, and to date, only Badger to play professional baseball. He led the New York Yankees for 10 years, winning the World Series four times. His career was cruelly and cynically cut short when the Boston Red Sox exploited a loop-hole in Major League regulations and set a snare on 3rd base. Pooky was caught and left there for days. He had to chew his own leg off to escape. He survived to exact a terrible revenge by stealing the registration plates from the cars of all those involved. That'll learn 'em! |
 |
| CHAPPY. Chappy is the first, and to date, only Badger to be elected Prime Minister of Britain. In 1940, baffling propaganda by the Conservative Party left voters confused and Chappy elected as the leader of Britain. His term in office would be short-lived. His second day as PM saw him involved in an important meeting in Yalta, Switzerland, between Chappy, American President Franklin D Roosevelt, and Russian Premier Joseph Stalin. Chappy, in a move viewed as political suicide, ran amok, chewing on Roosevelt's legs, stealing Stalin's hat, burying it and then running off to root out worms. Within hours he was replaced by Sir Winston Churchill. |
 |
| BONGO MOORE. Bongo Moore is the first, and to date, only Badger to play professional football. His crowning glory was to captain England in the 1966 World Cup. Renowned as a formidible presence in defence, he led his country to victory in the final. However, just moments after being presented with the trophy, he forever disgraced himself by burrowing under the hallowed turf of Wembley with the trophy and refused to come out until dogs were sent in after him. |
| History celebrates many great men and women for many different reasons. But in the grand scheme of things, the humble Badger is often overlooked. On this page I celebrate some of histories greatest Badgers. |