Sept_7

Today's entry is dedicated to love, I guess this would be ingredient # 2 in the black girl stew. Why am I talking about love well, I had a dream. Not like a MLK dream but I had a dream about an ex-boyfriend from high-school. This was one of those good dreams where you can FEEL the presence of the dream on you physically. In the dream I had met up with 'J' after a period of time. J had completly changed his image. I dream in color, I don't know about you. So J has on these nicely tailored pants and a fitted sweater, showing all of his muscles. J looked good in 10th grade, and he looked good in the dream. So J had said, "I have been looking for you."

Me: Really, Why?
J: You were the only girl I had faith in.
Me: You don't say?
J: Yes I just want to kiss you.

And the dream goes on to us not having sex, (gotcha) but just sitting and talking. He was kissing me on my neck (Like the E. Badu song) and I was feeling beautiful. In the morning I summed this dream up to Love. Yes love. I think I want to be in love. See, love is not sex. I thought I just wanted to have sex but I want to be in love and so the things that lovers do (was that a song?).

On this subject I think that may would say I need a man to complete me. This is not true. I am a complete woman. I ahve a degree, a job I will love by next Monday and friends who are dandy. Sooo the love is the missing element, cuz for so long I ridiculed love and people in love and I ran away from love. I may have ran off some potential lovers with my sarcasticness about love.

Back in the day I thought love was for the birds cuz, I saw people giving so much of themselves to another person. I was selfish. I didn't think it was that crucial. But, the thing about real love is that it is not about self. This is two people becoming one. Amen!

So I am looking for love. That might mean for a long search but who knows. It could pop up at anytime.

Much Love
Ornje