"What word would you define Sean as?"
Annie: "Scottish."

"If you go up to a guy and whisper in his ear, "Your balls are showing..." it freaks them out."
 
"I want to be tied up... and... um... whipped... and OOH! Threaten to blow my brains out, yes."

"I think 'marfin' is a good word. It's like 'muffin' only marfier."

'I need some marfin'... I declare today... Marf Day!' 'I need some marfin' again... I declare today... Marf Day!' 'I thought yesterday was Marf Day.' 'Well todays Marfing Day then.' 

"You see this finger? *shakes finger* It's not happy. And it's having a seizure at you."

"Ass kissing?! Deeeelicious!"

"Yes... Albino Squirrel Squad... ASS. The ASS is ri-ight by your window, Alex... Fear it.   Are you su-ure? I can feel your fear... My ASS can sense it!"

"Haha. Yes... my ASS is tingling. *stands up and realizes she's been sitting on a taser*"

"Penis water? First a juicy ASS and now penis water? What has the world come to?"

"Of course you're going to say 'Sean Biggerstaff FOREVER!'. You're not going to say, 'Sean Biggerstaff some of the time!'"

 [Leia] If I hear one more thing about Sean's ass I'm going to ... sacrifice a goat.
[Miss_Annie] Sean's ass. 

"Who killed Sean? Why that's simple! It's always the butler. The butler did it... Alfred... Wait... Sean's Alfred... Which means...SUICIDE! Dun dun DUN. Next week, on 'As the Badger Marfs', Sean's killer is revealed... Could it be... Annie, the crazed stalkee, Diane, the Goddess, or the badger?! *random shot of a badger in the wild*" 

"I walked past a sign at school that said 'Books You'll Love!' and I thought it said 'boobs'." 

"Sean, during interview: ... I'm just a regular guy from Glasgow-- WTF?! It's burnin', it's burnin'! My tie is on fire!"  

"My friends and I watched the uncensored version. lol... 'Arlene Cockburn? It's foreshadowing the movie!' "

"My science teacher was talking about why some chromosome combinations wouldn't work and he said that one would cause the woman to give birth to just one huge testicle." 

" 'I will hunt you down!' 'Annie! What'd you say?! Never mind I don't want to hear what you said...' 'I said I'll hunt you down...' 'OH! I thought you said you'd hump my dad...' " 

"We were watching a safety video on something and somehow the bus in the video drove into the lake. Then my science teacher looks up and says, 'I hope all those kids drown'."

"No, Alex. She was not quoting. Dragon's going to hack into Mugglenet and put up porn." 

"I bet Sean's trying to type on a toaster right now. 'Why does this bread kee popping up?!'" 

"Seen-a-bigger-retard = Paul Kelly." 

"He's no longer single. There are so many Sean clones out there, there's definitely more than one." 

"'HAPPY MARF DAY!' People: 'What's marf?' Me: 'Marf! Like, "Marf, I just ran over my dog!" or "Hey look! My dog's marfing your dog!" or "Ooh, Sean Biggerstaff's marfy!" People: 'Ri-ight...' " 

[Random] People like to discriminate 40 year olds. You never hear, "My mom thinks you're all 20 year old rapists." As if being younger than 40 makes the rape ok.
[Miss_Annie] lol. I mean lying about your age and stuff.
[Cutie] I know
[Cutie] always 40
[kytti23] yes, but if they're 40, it makes them pedophiles AND rapists
[Miss_Annie] "My mom thinks you're all toddlers who rape people" 

"Is that a nuclear weapon... or are you just REALLY happy to see me?" 

" *imagines Bush sitting on the couch watching football when all of a sudden AHHH! a pretzel flies at his face and he falls into a fetal position, crying* " 

"'You're in... The Matrix... *makes swishy motions with arms* " 

"You can do anything in... The Matrix. *more swishy motions as she types at the speed of light* *turns around* Shit, my ass is on fire again." 

"I'm so convinced that if I ever have a child, he or she will grow up to be the next Hitler. And they'll rape dogs and sell me on the black market..." (Suddenly this doesn't seem as funny.) 

" 'I swear to god, I will COUGH ON YOU, if you do not give me my pencil back, fucker!' "

 "*sees cute baby* 'Can't... study... Must... REPRODUCE!' *leaps out of classroom* 
 *sees ugly baby* 'Can't... study... must... become... NUN!' " 

"DAMMIT. Thought that said 'ass-bling'.  'Bling bling! *jewelry hangs out of crack*' *cannot sit comfortably with all that bling all up in the grill* " 

" 'You will be... Sukinhagenstagen' 'Honey, why don't we name her when you're sober?' " 

[In relation to the Casino Niagra picture. You know, the one where he's flipping the bird.] "It's like his mom or Diane was trying to coax him into taking a picture for the website. And he's like 'Fine... fuckers...' " 

" 'Canadian Penis'! From the makers of 'American Pie'! " 

"*eyes glaze over and voice goes into little kid mode* Is your stomach Santa? " 

"Wouldn't it be neat if Rowling came out with the sixth book, made it over 1000 pages long, and then killed Harry off in the first 50 pages and then left all the other pages blank for fans to rant on? And she could actually kill him on the first page and just make his scream long enough to last 49 pages." 

"That's not good if every time you piss, your boobies fall off." 

Is Sean hot or is he hot? 
"'If you gave him to me and I stuck him in the microwave, he may be a bit hotter but then his face'd be all melty*"  

 'Sorry, I can't go back to your place... You're too young for me. You remind me of me when I was a little boy.' 

 " *goes and reaches for the cheapest graphing calculator and tugs at it* Why the hell won't it come off? *sees that it's locked* What?!"  It's like they're special calculators or something... Then the lady had to hold on to it while we were shopping for the rest of my supplies. What're they doing that for? Afraid terrorists will do Algebra 2?" 

[imitating Harry] 'Snape hates me?! I'm pissed off! Cho's crying?! I'm pissed off! My Firebolt's not polished?! I'm pissed off! Oliver Wood's not gay?! I'm pissed off!-- Did I just say that out loud?' 

"You guys need to go up to some guy that JUST put his keys or his wallet in his pocket and walk up to him and say, 'Are those your keys in your pants or are you just happy to see me?' "

 "*adds "You are not allowed to leave a goodbye post" to "The Rules of Suicide" pamphlet*"

"I don't know if I'm American. I wander aimlessly and don't bother to figure out which country I am in. It's too much of a formality."

[About Steve Irwin] "I wonder what he would do if I went to the Zoo and followed him around calling him 'daddy' "

"Incredible Friendships: These past few months at SBMB have made me realize just how true that statement is. The bonds and  the relationships that are in the midst of being built seem fragile at the moment, but I know they will grow and become.......Indestructable....I can't wait to share these upcoming months, years, and life time with everyone here at SBMB."

"peel bananas peel peel bananas slice bananas slice slice bananas mash bananas mash mash bananas eat bananas eat eat bananas GO BANANA GO GO BANANAS!"

"Alex. Stop boosting peoples esteem! There are going to be too many people in this world grinning with happiness! *pictures millions of people walking around like Lenny when he gets plastic surgery done*"

*imagines Sean walking back to hotel covered in paint balls* "What happend to you?" "These girls...they attacked me with paint balls! One was dressed as a frog! THe other as a porcupine!! And the porcupine was cackling and yelling something about ColaU!" "Rightt......? Are you sure you just didnt' get shit on by pigeons?...*sniffs* You smell like booze!...go to bed" "but..but...IT WAS THE PORCUPINE AND THE FROG...*weeps*" 

"We CERTAINLY do not appreciate being treated like hideous mutations just because we have a little @ next to our name."

"I'd give you a quarter to call someone who cares, but that would be a waste of my quarter."

"How can you have good cyber sex with someone who can't even type coherently?"

[Daivik] Remember, my dears...There's nothing wrong with masturbation.   It's sex with someone you love.
[Penny] but what if you don't love yourself?
[Daivik] Then it's rape.

"no, but you can kiss my marshmallow peeps!"

"gelfling does a Scotty and tries to talk to the mouse!"

"We should invade some random abandoned castle and call it Hogwarts and walk around with homemade house scarves, speaking in British accents.  And when people call us crazy, we'll just say...'Bugger off, wanker!' "

[Jeffy] ""OMG! I LOVE YOU SEAN!" (Sean) "*screams like a girl* Go away! Go away! *clicks a bunch of buttons, fails, and ends up just closing the box." ...hours later. *goes to PM Diane and accidently manages to ban half the room* Er..I meant to do that?"  
[Fion] "And eventually he's the only one left in chat and he's like, 'Shit. Where'd they go?'"

"I don't think he likes me, either. That's okay, though. Not everyone has to like me. Well, they SHOULD seeing as I control the world, but you know..." 

"Alfred's biggest flaw...he isn't as hot as me. "

"I would just like to point out that both "Lurky Python" and "badger in disguise" consist of more than one word. Cheaters. I would also like to point out that the title of this thread is extremely grammatically incorrect.
In answer to the question at hand, I would have to say - "tulip." " 

"Boobs are like earlobes. They’re fun to play with, but you don’t get anything out of it." -- Fion's friend. 

"Between her ASS and Mah Boday, people get pretty distracted around here." 

[Ness] "The tongue is the strongest muscle in your body."
[Fion] "Only if you give it a lot of exercise."

[Leia] I have Mountain Dew Livewire.
[Fionnuala] I've never tried that. Is it good?
[Leia] It's like orange soda with a...something...special.
[Fionnuala] Something special? Like wait, pot?

"I must have issues. I always offer to hurt people's boyfriends. "So my boyfriend said 'hi' to me today." "Ooh, you want me to hurt him?" "

"Type in your user name there, Sean." "What? Here?" "No, that's the password."  "Here then?"  "NO!!! THAT'S THE ADDRESS BAR!!!"  "Well then where?" "Forget it!" *thwap*  

'I'm totally going to go up to some guy and be all, "So...you're a boy huh?" ' 

"Stop! You're making me laugh in a public place."

"If anyone walks in here right now, they're going to look at me like I'm wearing a cheese hat on my head. It's inevitable." 

"Yeah...at out of the...*thinks* 175 h.s. students at my school....like...70% of them drive drunk..now what does that say? *ahem* That people who live in hick towns are more likely to kill each other because we have nothing better to do. " 

[In response to the quote above.] "Dude..is that the only Jeffy quote you have, or do you just like it that much?"

"Sean is a marfing marfut who likes to swoon over himself in front of a mirror going on about how people love him. I always have to tell him, "THEY ONLY USE YOU FOR YOUR CHAAAAAAAT!" Gah, it sucks being the sister of a diva...."

"Yes! Leia...and when they make a movie of your books...we'll be the people in the crowd. Fully dubbed in kilts and "I Luv Sean" t-shirts with the Sean crossed out and Leia writen in. Then when you walk by we'll you things at you in SBCer lingo. It'll be great. Then when you walk away, we'll have to moon you. You do know that right?" 

"*pictures Alex putting the lid up on the washing machine and going, "Huh....the toilet is a lot bigger than what I remembered...." "

"Alex: Ok..Sean, when you get to your main page...Seanus: What?! Main what?! You already lost me!!!! *whimpers* "

"Goodie, I can see it now. I'll be in my room and my mum will knock, asking what I'm doing, and I'll say, "Ummm...*pulls tape* playing with my boobs, mum!" She'll raise an eyebrow and ask what I'm really doing. I'll reply, "Like I said, playing with my boobs....*pulls more tape*" 

"Screw Sean and his penis! *clears throat* "MY FOREHEAD IS ON FIRE!!! MY FOREHEAD IS ON FIRE!" 

"I can see you guys having a show-and-tell, and someone'll bring a snake...and your Harry look-a-like will start hissing at it...Then he'll poke it with a pencil and go, "Another day...Another one of Voldie's plans...gone to the pits....I've saved the day yet again beause....*whips head to invisible camera dramatically* I'm Harry Potter." 

".....Kind of like Dr.Evil....I can see Alex doing that...Your mum will be all, "What'cha up to?" Alex: *from behind fridge door* I'm getting...*pops up from behind door* milk.....Heheheh...HEHEHE....hahaha...HAHAHAHHAHABWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"*lmao* Cola, when I was at work, someone said Jeffy, so I'm like, "Yes?" And I look up from my work and see the person walking over to a guy and calling him Jeffy..I'm like, "What the hell? A guy named Jeffy? Who does that? WHO?!"  

"A little 5 year-old boy grabs the last one, "No! You little marfer! It's miiiiiine! "I got it first! Step off, bizzo!" "Why do you need a pencil case?! You prolly CHEW on your's anyway, so why do you care enough to get a CASE for them?!" "MOOOOM!" "*shoves little kid, causing him to let go of case, then runs off with case, cackling like mad*" 

 "I could see you telling the lil kid off, "What..WHAT did you just say to me?!" "F*ck.Off."  "Oh....Oh no you didn't! COME HERE YOU LITTLE SH!T! *runs after kid with a ruler*" ....Why am I picturing Alex beating up little kids today?"

[Jenny in early stages of board-dom] "Well, if you must know, SEAN'S GOT A BIGGERSTAFF THAN YOU DO!!!"

"My mom says I can stay up as long as I don't leave me room... To which she added... "So you better hope you don't have to shit or piss!!!" To which I retaliated "I'll just find a corner!!!" To which she responded "Well!!! It is YOUR room..." Now the only question remaining is... Which corner shall it be??? 0_0 "

"Speaking of porn have you asked Alex for her prefered sites after all.. She turns into me and that's the first thing she goes for... Psht!!!"

"ANYONE HAVE ANY CHEESE!?! I want to get drunk on THIS wine... They're known for being good at making it..."

"There's a bone between my boobs??? Maybe that's why my dog always tried to lick my boobs... Then again... Maybe it just thought I was its mother... "

"Yeah, I know Random... Who knew you could get gonorrhea on your forehead..."

"I DO wish to drink scotch....but I'd rather it be straight from the Scotsman."

"1. Can I buy Mr. Paul Kelly a drink? And 2. If the answer to number 1 is no...will more cleavage on my part increase my chances of changing his mind?" 

"one of us is sterile...i just don't want to get in a fight over which one. i won't name any names...but it starts with andy"

"for some reason..a pair of my panties are sitting on the computer desk"

"the first time i come in here and someone says "so, karen...alex says you have two belly buttons"..i'm going off..."

"I was on the verge of getting on my knees and doing more but I had to go because mom was waiting for me outside."  

[About Alex's laptop.] 
[Kroots] It's not JUST your laptop. It's *choral music* GOD'S LAPTOP. 

"well... the smarties that you get in Europe are chocolate and I would choose THOSE kinds of smarties. And if you mean the smarties we get HERE then I would choose those too because I crush them into powder and call it "happy powder" and i used to take it to school but it looked kind of like anthrax so I stopped" 

"You guys...When I buy a new car in a year or two, I hope I can get one in "clear". It certainly would make my habit of driving naked a lot more interesting." 

"was it hard, penis?"

"Political correctness is ruining our society. Especially our board games. "Extremely Malnourished Hippos" just isn't the same." 

"I'm a big ziploc container of quick witty remarks." 

"Sean is a man ho who gives us hot sex. He's scared that we'll teach him a new sex move and he fears my dominatrix self. *cracks whip* Bad boy. *growls* " 

"*screams into monitor* 100 million years ago, dinosaurs ruled the Earth! 10 Seconds ago, Alex ruled the bathroom! Or the washing machine." 

[Jeffy] The toilet is calling me. -- Jeffy
[Kroots] It's calling to you, Jeffy. It's screaming "Uuuuuuse me, Jeffy. Uuuuuse me!" and then there's the chocolate bar in the fridge going "Eeeeat me, Jeffy. Eeeeat me!" and then there's the coffee in the cabinet going "Maaaake me, Jeffy. Driiiink me." and then there's Jeffy wondering why the hell household items are talking to her. 

[Kroots] Knock knock.
[Random] Who's there?
[Kroots] Amish.
[Random] Amish who?
[Kroots] That's funny, you don't look like a shoe!!!

"Attention Alex: You have received the Amish Virus 3.0 Please remove all files from your hard drive. Thank you." 

"Well Cola and Alex, it may go Question Answer Question Answer, but what if it's Answer Question Answer Question? Well then it's like Jeopardy and that's just WRONG." 

"Sean with a black bar across his netherparts and OYO written across his chest and "MA" on one butt cheek and "RF" on the other" 

"It is! Suicide is man's (or woman's) way of telling God (or Goddess) "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME! I QUIT!!" "

" Can't you see it? We send Sean the "I love my dildo" shirt... and one day he's getting dressed and he finds he hasn't done laundry in a while. And that's all he has left."

"Boobs are so much fun. I feel bad for guys who don't have boobs of their own to play with."

"You never see homeless people flashing pearly whites and saying 'I am EMOTIONALLY rich!' "

"Can you satisfy my emotional needs? 401k required."

 "I'll elbow you in the groin for Knicks tickets!"

"There once was a badger named TV. Just looking at Sean made her queasy. She chatted all night, and gave Sean a fright, and writing a poem is not easy." 

"There once was an actor named Sean. The way he wore his tie was wrong. Alex asked him why, and can she please fix his tie? But he's just a silly old, uh. Thong." 

"On those nights I lie awake, I look up at those stars.  I wonder if you see them too? Maybe then we aren't so far." 

"Sean was meant to be our king, our brave leader. Um. Somewhere along the timeline he became our butler. How that happened, I'm not sure."

"Gimmie an L! Gimmie an E! Gimmie an A! Gimmie an F! Gimmie an S! What does that spell? OILERS! I mean, LEAFS! *ahem* " 

"And he says out of the blue "My mom tucks me in at night." I was in between bolting, laughing my ass off, and crying. I hate him so much." 

"You know, it's funny...Alex is hungry, so her solution is to sleep. One wonders what she'd do if she was sleepy." 

Sean Paul: singer.
Sean Connery: marfy.
Sean Biggerstaff: Grandma.  

"I sell dead people."

"So you walked down the hall and marfed someone in your apartment building?"

'I say "Hey, pot baby, this is kettle, how you doin'?" I'm weird.'

"If I shrunk my children will most definitely starve."

"Gah, Alex...swallow! SWALLOW!"

I hover and yell "Oh, god, don't do it that way!!" 

'Bring a taperecorder and say "Cause of death...unknown. Frog, green," '

"I like big stems, and I cannot lie! You otha flowa's can't deny! When a plant walks in with an itty bitty leaf and a round stem in your face you get SPRUNG!"

"In the movie we tried making...*snort*...I played a dead person. For real."

"Sean's ass is not tight and we're not TALKING about that right now."

"HAHAHAHA *sob* I hate you! I love life! *thud*"

"Me hungwy! Play Man! Crambo! Meep meep!" I can imagine a Sean furby too, Annie.

"I reeeally don't want images of Sean boning two girls in my head. Out, out, begone you demons of portuches. ... Did I just say that?"

"Alex...he may be Mel Gibson, but he doesn't taste good with a side of screambled egg and toast."

"The day Sean has a vagina is the day about 2000 girls become lesbians."

"I want to write Sean a letter, pretending to be a lonely prison man in search of his special bitch."

"I tried "/msg chanserv Fucking HELL!" but it didn't do anything. You're no help." 

"And that's why 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' is fantastic on so many different levels. I know what the Log of 3 is."

"I am a prune. Taste me!"

"malgist? were you saying something else, alex, or have the spelling faeries glomped you?"

"That's it. In the near year I've been here I've seen too many of these!!!  *forgets about thwapping Lucy for her portuchness and strangles her instead* "

"I'm not sure what happened to Sean. I took him for his morning walk today and let him loose for a run in the park. He never returned. *hangs up LOST SEAN signs* " 

"dude, why does oliver always get these spam emails for penis enlargers?!"

"i had a relationship crisis with him. when he didn't respond i kept telling him we had something special"

"you'll have to excuse alex.  He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Mentioned-For-Fear-Of-Outburst-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Confused-With-Voldemort's crooked tie sends Alex into a flurry of crooked tie rage"

[Paul is Paul Kelly.] 
"if i could just have a conversation with paul where he responds, maybe the dreams would stop!on the rare occaision he gets curious and decides to unblock me which immediately results in me saying "Hi" and him blocking me again for several months until he forgets who i am and becomes curious once again. it's a vicious cycle"

[Where is Sean?]
"Off somewhere doing what he does best. Butlering badly."

"Maybe it meant "Hey, sis, you're sugary and....powdered. Stop sniffing that crack!"

'I was like "WHOA....what the hell is she crying about?!" '

"I'll have to report everything into LJ. "Today...Leia touched my shoulder! And I touched hers! SCANDAL!" "

"Oh god...I can imagine "I hold the mouse!" "NO!" "It's MY computer!" "I'm a GUEST!" "Why are you touching the keyboard?!" "

' "So when a man loves a woman..." "It's okay, Dad. I know all this stuff" "From where?" "Um...SBMB..." ' 

"CNN doesn't know what they're talking about. The real war is between Skmo and Alex, not Iraq and the US!"

"What in the marf are they doing making the Scottish-speaking penguins do a parade??"

"And as young Lucy asks the question with hope in her eyes, the audience answers with fevered voices and a resounding...no."

"Anyway, Alex, screw those people who think you're nuts. They're just jealous that you have a fiery penis and they don't."

[Imitating CNN] "Breaking News: War Over. Stop e-mailing us."

"I'm going to take you to a REAL Chinese restaurant! Fido for dinner!"

"No one wants to walk around with a jar of mayo on their shirt, Alex."

"yeah, government *snots*"

"i can't eat math paper! it's fattening!"

"I wish I had a took. Preferably Pippin."

"I am tappable, Alex everyone want to tap this Penis!"

"yes, you have no sides, Alex, you are a circle"

"i'm not the brightest penny in the piggy bank"

 On 8/28/03 6:56:00 PM, Diane F wrote:
>http://www.seanbiggerstaff.com
>/article.asp?id=89
>Diane
"hahaha, did Diane think we needed to be shown that he posted? i'm sorry, i found it funny that she posted the link to the latest diary entry" 

[Random] My bra is practically falling off of me. Help.
[Random] *struggles in her chair*
[Head_Nut_Penis] let the penis help, Alex!

"Ness is very sensitive about this subject as she happens to be a gay mofo. We have lots of them on the board. They live in trees and come out at night to make shoes. No wait, that's Canadians."

"Yeah guys, violence is not the answer. Let's all get a cup of hot Chai and talk about this. Melis, when Lucy asks Sean to marry her, how does that make you feel? I am ready to communicate when you are."

"Did Sean just say the B word? Sean! Watch your fucking language!"

"I think from now on I'm just going to throw money at people when I want them to leave"

"Oh my God, Alex, I laughed so hard at that just cause today I had to hover. The door had a lock on it, but I was still paranoid that someone was going to walk in and see me hovering- because if there's one thing more embarrassing than someone walking in on you while you're on the toilet, it's someone walking in on you while you're hovering OVER the toilet."

"My sister Kieranne, who's three, only napped for an hour this afternoon so she's been zony all day. At dinner she was upset because everyone else got a steak knife except her, so my mom gave her a butter knife. She spent the rest of the meal stroking the knife and saying "I love my knife..." in this zombie voice while she stared lifelessly into space. I love that kid so much... "

"Duh. She got the door because she was bigger, and Jack was this gangly little fart, so if he fought back, she could just push his ass off. It was a simple matter of wanting to avoid conflict and accept the inevitable. "

"How many times have I told you you need to build up your self-esteem? DAMMIT, NESS, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?!" 

"Though I have to say, lately I've been trying a new angle that seems to be working. It's called 'Come to the door or I'll burn your house down' at which point I usually hold up a gasoline tank and shake it for effect. I'll make sure to keep you guys updated on how it goes!"

"Before I forget, I had to tell everyone about how awesome I am. So I'm at the grocery store today to buy three things: maxis, peanuts, and diet Pepsi. Yeah, I'm on a diet. Fuck off. Anyhoo, in one arm, I'm cradling my case of Pepsis to my stomach, I'm clutching the maxis in my free hand, and I've got the peanuts sitting on top of the Pepsis. But as I'm hobbling to the front of the store (shopping carts are for the weak), the peanuts keep slipping around on the case of Pepsis and I have to stop and tilt to get them to slide back. Finally, after stopping for the fourth time, I just give up and nestle them right between my boobs so they won't slide around anymore. Yeah, it was kind of weird walking around the grocery store with a can of peanuts nuzzled between my tits, but hey, it worked. I'm merely utilizing my assets. It's like a built-in cupholder.

So here's the best part, I get up to the express lane and there's this really cute cashier (I hate getting the cute cashier when I'm buying pads) and he sees me struggling, so he reaches out to take the can of peanuts- and freezes when he sees that it's tucked safely away in my heaving bosoms. And he can't just grab it or he'll touch my boobs! HAAAAAHAHAHA! So he sort of stands there for a second with his hand frozen in mid-air, and as if telling himself to just do it and get it over with, his hand shoots out and he uses his fingernails to pick it up by the lid and put it on the counter. Hahahaa, I made the cute cashier take peanuts out from between my boobs. I don't think I've ever felt so satisfied with myself. While he was ringing everything up, he was stammering and forgot to give me the total price. I'M SO COOL!"

"I think my sister and I would become emotionally scarred if Mum started to date other women again. We're not mature enough to handle the thought of a new father."

"Corndog!"

[Annie] Then you add, "Hi, this is Jimmy. I'm here in this stall with Jenna"

[Jenny] "While dropping a large brown bomb, here's how to make chocolate cookies for the WHOLE family."

[Cola] This is something to entertain you while taking a piss or if you want to stink up the public washroom you are taking a shit! Please  wash your hands after you are finished. Think of the children"

[Jenny] "MISSING!!! One rubbermaid penis... Please return to Paul Kelly... Thank you..."

[Annie] 'I go to the bathroom to read the grafitti... Then I realize there are people out there who crap with pens...'

[Kroots] "My husband follows me everywhere!" under it. "I DO NOT!!"