Men give the real answers on the myths and facts behind being a man:

Why are men such jerks?

It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your  PMS thing, we men
suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average
lifespan of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from
all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)?  Hormone modifies
behavior. We're just misunderstood.

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Why do men always have to ogle at other women?

Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the
testosterone just fell out of our bodies  the moment we meet a woman?
Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting
caught. I'm  fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal.
Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men
lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much
as we can. I suppose we're just unlucky really.

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Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?

We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy.
It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added
bonus.

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Why do men always say such stupid things?

We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner
frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.

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Why are men so uncommunicative?

You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it
you get into trouble with your partner.

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Why do men have to act like such retards?

Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the
old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the
world nowadays.

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Why can't men just share their feelings?

Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men
and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when
we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme
emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no
idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure
out how I feel.

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Why can't men cuddle more (i.e. lie down and hug)?

Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day?  We oblige you
as much as we can, but who the heck (besides women) can stand lying
around for hours on end?  We men... Men hunters... Need go roam...
Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses
for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.

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How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?

Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution
that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting
tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot
for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful
hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time
thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The figgidy types were
all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that
almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.

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Why can't men just say "I love you?"

Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say
that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men
consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own
character faults.

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Why do men say "I love you" when they hardly know me?

Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure fire
way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite
well.

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What does it mean when men say "I Love You?"

1 Please sleep with me.
2 I'm sorry for whatever it is that I did.
3 I forgot to get you a gift; this will have to do.
4 Huh? I'm sorry; I wasn't listening.
5 What did I forget? This should buy me a little time.
6 Stop nagging me.
7 What do I have to do to get a beer around here?

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Why doesn't my partner ever answer me?

We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your
questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not
like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other
things.

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Why won't men ever pick up after themselves?

Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much.  Besides, we know
darn well you'll pick it up.

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What's with all the belching and farting?

This usually only occurs after months of courting.  It's our way to let
you know that we're comfortable  with you. Believe it or not, it's
actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods
of time gives us stomach cramps.

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Why do men hate shopping?

It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go
out, kill it, and bring it back. Who  wants to spend hours and hours to
look at things we have no intention of killing? err... Buying?

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Why can't men ever leave the toilet seat down?

Have you ever seen one of us pee? The proper position of the toilet seat
is up. Mathematically  speaking, the proper position of the toilet seat
is a function of the time spent peeing over the time spent sitting. The
closer that ratio approaches one, the truer the proposition. Besides,
it's actually a  courtesy that we lift the seat. Why would we care if we
pee all over the seat. You're the ones that have to sit on it. You
should appreciate the fact that we actually lift the darn thing. We aim
to please.

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Why do men find blonde bimbos attractive?

Are you kidding? Even leaving the physical aside, blonde bimbos are
generally much easier to get along (alone) with. They like having fun
and doing exciting things. They don't  walk around with the weight of
the world on their shoulders.  They don't ever give us a hard time for
being a dumb male; and plus they laugh at most of our jokes (even the
ones they don't get). What more could any of us males ask for?

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Why do men act like they own the remote control?

What do you mean act? We do; possession is nine tenths of the law.
Besides, it is an awesome responsibility not to be entrusted to just
anyone. I believe the only fair way to decide who gets the remote
control is to arm wrestle for it.

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Why can't men stay on a single channel for more than two seconds?

Are you kidding? What if there is something good on the next channel? We
could miss it if we stay on one channel for too long. We're not really
interested in what's on; we're intereted in what ELSE is on.  (See also:
Why do men fear commitment?)

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Why do men fear commitment?

Don't be so surprised. Yes; most of us do know what "commitment" means
and can spell it correctly. It's like an automobile. No matter how good
you think this years model is, they're always coming out with newer,
faster, better, sleeker, and sexier models. We simply cannot be expected
to purchase the first one we  see. We must browse around a bit and test
drive a few.  Who wants to end up with a lemon? At least with a car,
there's a slight chance of it eventually becoming a classic. It simply
makes much more sense to lease and  upgrade to the younger... err... I
mean newer models every couple of years. Some of them come with fun
extras like dual air bags.

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What does it mean when men say, "I'm just not ready for a relationship
right now" or "I don't want a girl friend?"

It means that we like you enough to sleep with you, but not enough so
that we want to see you repeatedly.

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What does it mean when men say, "Can we just be friends?"

Generally, it means that the recipient of said comment is physically
repulsive enough that no beer goggles may be thick enough to provide
adequate protection.

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Do all men really masterbate?

Yes. It is genetically inherited behavior. It's been passed on from our
most primal forefathers, and it'll be passed on to our sons.

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Why do men generally have greater upper body strength?

Several factors are at work, namely evolution, heredity, nutrition, and
environment. (See also: Do all men really masterbate?)

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Why do men generally have better hand-eye or spatial coordinate motor
coordination?

It is like with all things. Practice... Practice...  Practice... (See
also: Do all men really masterbate?)

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Why are men so obsessed with beautiful women?

As opposed to what? Really ugly women? Face it, if men were obsessed
with ugly women, there would be just as much bitching about why men are
so obsessed with ugly women. No matter how you set this up, some people
are always going to be left out. I don't see anyone screaming about
equal treatment for the stupid people either.

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Why do men like younger women?

Well, let's see. Besides the fact that they like older men, they're
easily impressed. They're also perky, energetic, and come with very
little baggage. And gravity has less prevail over their bodies.

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Why do men only have one thing on their minds?

While technically correct, this statement is not strictly true. We may
only be able to entertain one idea at a time, but we do think of lots of
other things besides sex, such as sports and beer. We also get hungry
quite often.

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How can men possibly find that other woman attractive? 
(i.e. whatever do you see in that fat pig)?

Even if you happen to be Cindy Crawford, once we get the idea that you
are ours, other women suddenly become much more attractive and you lose
a few attractiveness points. I'm a bit puzzled by this one myself. I
think evolution is to blame. We men are just innocent bystanders in the
war of the selfish genes. You should love us despite our inherent
weakness.

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Why are men such dogs?

I resent that. Dogs are faithful... loyal... affectionate... and
obedient...

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Thought for the day;

"If a man is talking in the woods, and no woman hears him, is  he still wrong?"