Just a few Jokes.

 


A man and woman are driving to Florida for a vacation one year....as
they're driving, the man stops for gas at a little out of the way gas
station...while there he stikes up a conversation with the attendant.
The attendant said 

"So where are you folks from?"

"Detroit" the guy replies. 

The woman rolls down window: 

"What did he say?" 

"He asked me where we're from.

So the woman says okay and rolls window back up. The attendant then 
says.

"Man the worst sex I ever had was with a woman from Detroit."

The woman rolls down window again: 

"What did he say?" 

The man replies;

"He says he knows you!"



Toward the end, when God was creating the world, he created France.   
He put his best effort into it; beautiful mountains, not one sea coast  
but two, neither too hot, nor too cold, rich farm lands, etc., etc.  In  
all, practically the most perfect place on earth.  At that point, he  
got to thinking, well, all these other places will be jealous, France  
being so perfect and all.  We can't have that.  

So he created the Frenchman.



A busload of camera-toting Japanese tourists come across a New
Zealander in the Outback shagging a sheep.

One timidly approaches and asks "Are you shearing?"

The Kiwi replies, "Nah, piss off and get your own."



A New Zealander and an Australian are riding through the
outback when they discover a sheep with its head stuck in 
a fence.  The Australian gets off his horse, walks over, 
shags the sheep, then gets back on his horse.
The Kiwi is staring at him.

"Sorry mate," says the Australian, "D'you want a go?"

"Alright," says the Kiwi and gets off his horse, walks over to
the fence, sticks his head in it and says, "Well, come on then!"



Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing
their work.

The first said. 

"I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them 
up and everything inside is numbered."

The second said.

"I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up
and everything inside is in alphabetical order."

The third said.

"I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything
inside is colour-coded."

The fourth surgeon said.

"I prefer to operate on mechanics they UNDERSTAND when you have a 
few parts left over at the end."

The fifth surgeon said. 

"Lawyers are the easiest. They have no heart, no spine, no guts,
and their heads and their arses are interchangeable."



Willie was a chemist
But Willie is no more
What Willie thought was H20
Was H2SO4.



An elderly doctor and a Presbyterian minister were seated next
to each other on the plane.  The plane was delayed at the start 
due to some technical problems.  Just after taking off, the pilot 
offered his apologies to the passengers and announced that a round 
of free drinks would be served.

When the charming air-hostess came round with the trolley, the
doctor ordered a gin and tonic.

The hostess then asked the minister whether he wanted anything.
He distastefully replied,

"No no no no no!!!  I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol!!!".

The doctor promptly handed back his gin and tonic and said.

"Madam, I did not know there was a choice."