Puns

Two Eskimo sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft,
and it sank shortly thereafter. This proves once and for all that you can't
have your kayak and heat it, too.



Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much.  The second one, naturally, became known as
the lesser of two weevils



A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the
bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw "



A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge"



Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One
says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"



Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocaine during
root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication



A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse "But why?"
they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess
nuts boasting in an open foyer"



There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten
different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.








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