Good Humor?

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out
of the corner of his eye. 
 
It says SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES. 

He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a
second thought.  Soon, he sees another sign which says,.......
SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES and realizes that these signs
are for real.  

When he drives past a third sign saying SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF
PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT, his curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls
into the drive.  

 On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small
sign next to the door reading SISTERS OF MERCY.  He climbs the steps and
rings the bell.  The door is answered by a nun in a long black  habit who
asks "What may we do for you, my son?" 

He answers "I saw your  signs along the highway, and was interested in
possibly doing business."

"Very well, my son.  Please follow me." 
 
He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.
The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man "Please knock on this
door." He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a
long habit and holding a tin cup.  This nun instructs "Please place  $50 in
the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."
 

He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.  He
trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut
behind him.  As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the
parking lot, facing another small sign: GO IN PEACE,.........

          > YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF MERCY. <



Did you hear the one about the man who opened a dry-cleaning business
next door to the convent?  He knocked on the door and asked the Mother
Superior if she had any dirty habits.



A priest decides to pay a visit to a nearby convent. The convent is in a
run-down neighborhood, and as the priest walks down the street several 
prostitutes approach and proposition him, 

"Twenty bucks a trick!"  

These solicitations embarass the priest who lowers his head and hurries 
on until he gets to the convent. 

Once inside he displays his naivete by asking  the Mother Superior, 

"What is a trick?"     

She answers, 

"Twenty bucks -- just like on the outside!"



A nun is driving her  car through some very lonely countryside. The car
stops and she notices there is no gas left. So she walks to the nearest
filling station. But of course, being a nun, she is a little unworldly, and
so she forgot to take along the canister for the gas. 

The nice guy at the filling station has no canister  either. He thinks for
a while, then he hands her a travel porta-pottie full of gas.

The nun walks back to her car and starts pouring the gas into the tank.
A passing car stops, and the driver looks out and says:

"Sister, how I would like to have as much faith as you do!"



During a blizzard, a parishinor of a Milwaukee parish was in a bad accident
 near Green Bay.  The priest and nun from Milwaukee were driving up to the 
hospital the victim was in, in case last rites were necessary.  As they
were  driving, the storm got worse and worse. Finally they decided they
would have  to stop for the night because the roads were so bad. 

 The only motel they  could find was already full of stranded travellers. 
The clerk told the priest  

"Since you are a priest and all, I will give you a room for the night, but 
I  just can't give you each a separate room, you will have to make do with 
two  beds in one room."  

The priest thanked him and paid for the room.

During the night, the power went out, and the heat went out with it.
Luckily there were a  lot of blankets is the closet.  After a while, the
nun told the priest,  

"Father,  I'm cold"

So the priest got a  blanket and put it on her.  After a while  longer, she
said 

"Father, I'm still cold, can you get me another blanket," So he did.

After a while, she again asked for a blanket.  This time the priest
responded  

"I think in the situation we should pretend to be husband and wife in order 
to keep warm."  

The nun was stunned and didn't think it was appropriate, but he was the 
priest, so she really couldn't argue. 

She said 

"O.K., Father, if you are sure its proper we can pretend to be husband 
and wife"

To which he  responded:  

"SO GET YOUR OWN DAMN BLANKET!"



Did you here about the pharmaceutical company? They developed a new drug
that, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent.

The FDA refused to licence it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.