Are You New To The Internet?

You can tell someone is brand new to Internet when they:


---Asks what an FAQ is.

---Wants to know where all the pornography ftp sites are.

---E-mail address ends in aol.com

---Posts message asking to 'unsubscribe' from newsgroup

---Spams USENET with a one-liner response to a very long post
        (and includes it in the message).

---He actually manages to screw up the 'smiley'

---Wants to know the number for the Internet's tech-support line

---Types all in uppercase, thinking this will get your undivided attention, and
        flames other people he/she thinks are unrepentent newbies...

---In September, posts 'Please put me on the mailing list.' to 50 newsgroups.

---Adds his/her address to the bottom of a MAKE.MONEY.FAST post

---Keeps posting to news.answers asking how to get on the dirty pictures
        mailing list

---Got on Internet after reading some lame Newsweek article on
        Info-Superhighway.

---Is being constantly lampooned and browbeaten by
        smarmy know-it alls who were newbies and lamers the previous month.

---Has to ask what 'newbie' means.

---Skin samples indicate recent exposure to sunlight.

---Has a Shortcut Key for pasting, 'Me too!'

---Spends hours looking for the *any* key on his keyboard

---He still seems to think people on Usenet are reasonable.

---Posts a private reply to a newsgroup instead of e-mailing it.

---Posts message with title 'Test, Please ignore' (and not to alt.test, either)

---Thinks Bill Gates is 'Neat'.

---Adds a really lame response to the Asylum Poll.

---Sends sub and unsubscribe messages to the outgoing address of mailing lists