Not Tonight Dear, Just Hold Me.

A Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating
up. But then the wife stops and says 

"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

"WHAT??" Replies the Husband.

The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs
as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen
tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department
store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive
outfits.

And then tells his wife. We'll take all three of them.  Then goes over
and gets matching shoes worth $200 each. And then goes to the Jewelry
Department and gets a set of diamond earrings.

The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but
she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.

The husband says "but you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like
it then lets get it."

The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe
what is going on.  She says, 

"I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register."

"No -no - no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." Comes his
reply.

The wife's face goes blank.

"No honey  - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

Her face gets really red and she is about to explode and then the
husband says, 

"You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man!!!