Old Wooden Eye!

     
There was a man who had a slight anomaly - he possessed 
somewhat of a bung eye, and to his cruel misfortune, his 
doctor had run out of glass eyes. The next best thing was, 
unfortunately, wooden eyes.
     
The sight of a wooden eye was to say the least, a bit 
unnerving to the unexpected, and this had contributed to 
much humiliation. The endless staring and whispers of
the public were always present, and consequently, the man 
was driven to a reclusive approach to his lifestyle. So it 
was, he would be confined mainly to his residence, taking 
solace from his new found interest - stamp collection.
     
The months passed by, and it dawned upon his closest friends 
that it was time for him to confront his anomaly, however 
difficult it was going to be. So one fine evening they 
showed up at his front door and said;
     
"It is now time. Get dressed, for we are to indulge in 
a night of merriment"
     
Despite all of his protesting, his friends were obviously not 
about to back down. So off they went, to the local nightclub 
where he would hopefully, for a night at least, forget about 
his recent traumas.
     
However, this was not as easy as first expected, as he 
quickly reverted to his reclusive ways, and nursed a quiet 
drink at the end of the bar of the nightclub.
     
Then to his amazement, in the corner of his eyes, he noticed 
this georgeous young girl, who had repeatedly attempted to 
catch his attention.
     
"No, this could not be", he murmered. 

But sure enough, an  inviting smile which came from the other 
end of the bar served notice to him that tonight was his night.
     
However, he noticed an unfortunate flaw in her appearance - 
the girl possessed an unbelievably big nose. In fact, it was 
of schnoze proportions.
     
"But wait a minute", he said to himself. "This is a beautiful girl. 
I would be crazy to let this opportunity go by. Moreover, I would be 
extremely hypocritical to judge  someone by their appearance."
     
Nervously, he walked to her end of the bar. He took a deep 
breath, and stuttered;
     
"I couldn't help but notice that you were looking in my direction. 
I hope it would not be presumptious, but.... would you like to have 
a dance with me?"
     
"Would I!, would I!", she remarked exitedly.
     
"Big nose! Big nose!"