A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Pastor: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.
[dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?

George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their
sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them
play for free anytime.

The group was silent for a moment.

Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and
see if there's anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Comprehending Engineers -- Take Two

In the high school gym, all the girls in the class were lined up against
one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Then, every ten
seconds, they walked toward each other until they were half the previous
distance apart. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were asked,
"When will the girls and boys meet?"

The mathematician said: "Never."

The physicist said: "In an infinite amount of time."

The engineer said: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close enough
for all practical purposes."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Comprehending Engineers -- Take Three

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things
mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily
retired. Several years later his company contacted him regarding a
seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their
multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else
to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on
the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the
huge machine. At the end of the day he marked a small x in chalk on a
particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your
problem is". The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.
They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded
briefly:

One chalk mark .. ..... ..... $1
Knowing where to put it ..... $49,999

It was paid in full and the engineer retired in peace.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Comprehending Engineers -- Take Five
(They can't count either!)

The Top 10 Things Engineering School didn't teach

10. There are at least 10 types of capacitors.
9. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work.
8. Not everything works according to the specs in the databook.
7. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except
the complex math, which you will never use.
6. Always try to fix the hardware with software.
5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab
every day for the rest of your life.
4. Overtime pay? What overtime pay?
3. Managers, not engineers, rule the world.
2. If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go into software.
1. Dilbert is a documentary.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Comprehending Engineers -- Take Six

Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.