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She should have known he
would still be awake. He was sitting
quietly on the bed, still adorned in the familiar leather duster. With a cigarette in hand, he looked very
much like the old Spike she’d demanded earlier. She caught his attention and he looked up as she came into view.
“What are you doing up? Figured you’d be a bit knackered after your little trip.” There was still a hint of anger toward her in his voice.
“Unpleasantly not tired, actually. Still too wound up, I guess. How bout you?”
“Good fight always keeps me awake. Just like old times, eh, slayer? Good kill, good smoke, good shag…” his voice trailed off, sorry to have said it out loud. He relaxed when he saw she wasn’t going to scold him for it.
“Heard you were the one that killed the demon tonight.” She moved closer, waiting for his reaction, not sure yet if he really wanted her there.
He shrugged and glanced beside to a spot on the bed, silently inviting her to sit. “Did what I had to, luv.”
She took a place beside him, pushing back to lean against the wall.
“I guess so. Must have been tough.”
He took a long drag from the cigarette and blew the smoke out slowly, grinding the rest of the butt into the makeshift ashtray beside him.
“I did okay.”
They sat in silence for a moment, both unsure of what to say to the other. She hated the awkwardness between them. She thought they had overcome it, but then she’d made the mistake of introducing the principle into the situation. Robin Wood. Spike said he was all right with it, but she’d seen the sadness in his eyes. The look of jealously he was trying to hide. She realized he was trying to give her space to find what she was looking for. Too bad she hadn’t realized sooner the thing she wanted was sitting right here beside her. Spike was the only person she needed.
“I’m sorry about the whole speech thing earlier. I guess I kinda came off like a bitch.”
“Yeah, well…subtlety’s never been your specialty, slayer. Besides, the girls needed it.”
She turned, taking in the full sight of him. “I wasn’t apologizing for what I said to them. I meant I’m sorry for what I said to you.”
He looked at her with astonishment before looking away again. “It’s okay, luv. Maybe I needed it too.”
“But I shouldn’t have done it like that…in front of everyone else. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way.” Spike’s eyes burned through her full of painful emotion. “In fact, you deserve so much more than I’ve shown you.”
“Buffy…you don’t have to…”
She cut him off, turning her body to face his, reaching out to trace her hand along the leather lapel of his coat.
“Yeah, Spike. I do. It’s about time I say thank you. Should have said it a long time ago.”
His eyes traveled to her hand, catching it in his own. “Nothing to thank me for, luv.”
“If you won’t let me say it, then let me show you.” She reached up, rubbing the outline of his cheek, remembering the way his skin always warmed to her touch.
“Buffy,” he warned, closing his eyes and reveling in the sensation of having her so close.
“Spike, I said I wanted the old you. The man who used to fight by my side, the man who used to annoy me beyond words, and most of all, the man who used to love me more than anyone else ever could. Just tell me where he is.”
He placed his hand over hers, taking it to his lips. “That man is still here, luv. All of him. Just wasn’t sure exactly what you wanted.”
“I want ‘my’ Spike back.”
“Say he is back…what then?”
She smiled, letting herself fall back on the mattress, pulling him with her. “Well, you’ve had your fight…you’ve had your smoke…there’s only one thing left.”
He gazed into her lust filled eyes, afraid she would realize what she was doing and change her mind. Without warning, her lips found his and she kissed him hungrily. He felt the passion between them, something he’d never thought he’d ever get to experience again. The fear that she would run was quickly dismissed when his buckle was loosened, and he felt Buffy’s hand sliding inside to grip him. Closing his eyes, enjoying the feel of her beneath him, he heard her chuckle.
“Yep,” she said, “The big bad is definitely back.”