Melanies Opinion.

    If you had a strong relationship before you found out then it can be again.  You were lucky enough to be told by him, so be thankful he trusts you enough to tell you.  That in itself is very important.  A lot keep it bottled up inside themselves and are either aggressive or depressed as a result leading to marriage breakdowns, etc.  If like me, you are able to accept the situation but do not know how to cope or help him, I will tell you how I coped.

    Firstly I told him I wanted to take things at my own pace (slowly does it).  Even though I had been around transvestites before this time it was personal.  The first time I met the other woman as I thought of her, my reaction was, if I was to accept her, I would have to change her. Which with my husbands blessing I did and hence over a period of a few weeks and plenty of support and sympathy Terri Anne was born.

    I also had to tell myself that they were two personalities, my husbands and hers.  Once I had learned how to separate the two I found it easier.  Terri Anne became my big sister, we joked, cried and laughed together.  At times I moaned to her about my husband (and believe me it does work).  The one thing that did scare me was that after a period of time, I found myself loving her.

    So that led me into the question of my sexuality. Was I a Lesbian? It was a very hard period and I had to be honest with myself but after a few weeks, I decided that it was because when my husband was dressed, he was more loving towards me and placed me on a pedestal.  Which means I am the one who is in charge of the situation and underneath all the silk and satin is still my husband.

    We have all asked "Does it mean they are gay?"  Well, the most common answer is NO they are not.  Although it is not uncommon to hear about or meet ones that are bi-sexual.  This I believe is due to the fact the most do not have understanding partners.  I have asked this question of some I have met (If your partner accepted you, do you think you would be bi-sexual?) the answer seems to be an overwhelming NO.  Like most ladies they need the attention and need to feel loved.

    Terri Anne and I are probably better friends than my husband and I are.  During a recent bad patch (and yes even we have them),  I thought about what it would be like if we decided to split up. The tears only started when I thought about Terri Anne and the wonderful friendship we have, it was him I was mad at, and her I would miss, sounds strange doesn't it?

    They believe that the reason for transvestites is probably a genetic fault via the women's genes, so if that is true we owe it to them to at least try to understand.  Remember if he has told YOU, he loves you and he trusts you and that is something special in itself.  He is probably very confused by his own feelings and scared stiff of losing you, he really does need the support of someone and if that someone can be you all the better.  If you feel like crying do so, even crying together sometimes releases the feelings that build up.  Together you can have a more rewarding life and add a little more excitement into it, but as they say when the bedroom door closes it's up to you.

    A wife who asks "if you love me, you will give this up" is making a futile and unrealistic plea. He may well love you with all of his heart, but he cannot give up crossdressing, it is a part of his make-up (sorry about that pun).  You loved him before you knew, so has he really changed that much, by doing the one thing that all of us expect from our husbands, and that is to be honest with us, it might just have taken a little longer that is all.

    One final thought, the statistics say 1 in 12 men are crossdressers.  Let's be honest here, when you walk down the street, do you wonder what type of underwear the man who has just walked past you is wearing?

    If you want to talk please e-mail me, I promise I will always reply.  We are a special breed of women that can live with Transvestites so maybe we should start a group of our own, what about it girls!!