khudi ko kar buland itnaa ke,
'Himalay ki choti pe jaa pahunche'
Aur khuda tumse khud puchhe
'Abe gadhe Ab utrega kaise'?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne,
Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne,
yahan likhana mana hai.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dharti so rahi hai, Aasman so raha hai;
Dharti so rahi hai, Aasman so raha hai;
Nonsense! yeh sab kya ho raha hai?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before marrige: takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti,
Tajmahal banana chahata hoon, lekin mumtaz nahi milti.
After marriage: takdir ahi magar kismat nahi khulti,
tajmahal banana chahata hoon, lekin mumtaz nahi marti.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
do you know that a bell is ringing in Chitragupt's
room when any boby speeks lie . Every morning Indra
observes that the bell is ringing for so much time.
One day in morning that bell is ringing & ringing ,
Indra (with engryness): " Chandragupt why the bell is ringing so much , stop this bell immediately. "
Chandragupt : "How can I stop it 'SANDESH' is printing......."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here Are Some New and Improved Dil Chahta Hai Lyrics
Enjoy Them.
1) DIL CHAHTA HAI
Kabhi Naa Aayen KT ke Din,
Pass Ho Jaye Hum , Copying ke Bin
Din Din Bhar Ho , Lectures Ki Baatein,
Assignments Mein Beete , Saari Raate,
Busy Ho Kar Bhool Jaye Yeh Jahan,
IT Revive Ho Jaye Aur Aane Lage Ladkiyan .......
DIL CHAHTA Hai
Aisa Ajab Ye Course Hai,
Dekho Toh Har Koi KT Se Suffer Hai,
Humko Jaana Kidhar Hai?
US? Bngalore? Ya Ulhasnagar?
OH Oh oh ooooooo ......
___________________________________________________________________________________
2) WOH PEON HAI KAHAN
Jise Dhoondta Hu Main , Har Ghadi,
Jo Kabhi Mujhe Hai Nahi Mile,
Jispe Kar Sakoon Main Yakein,
WOH PEON HAI KAHAN?
Jise Meri Attendance Ka Dhyan Ho,
Questions Papers Ka Bhi Gyaan Ho,
PRINCI Se Bhi Pehchaan Ho,
WOH PEON HAI KAHAN ?????
______________________________________________________________________ ___________
3) DIL CHAHTA HAI (Reprise)
Sar Khaata Hai,
Principal Apna Poore Hi Din,
Sar Khaata Hai,
Bhashan Deta Hai Kaaran Ke Bin,
Din Din Bhar Woh Maarta Hai Round,
Kabhi LCR , Kabhi College Ground,
Hum Chuppe Woh Milta Hai Vahan,
Na Jaane Bhatakta Woh Mil Jaaye Kahan.....
Sar Khaata Hai
___________________________________________________________________________________
4) JAANE KYON
JAANE KYON Log Attend Karte Hain... JAANE KYON,
Lectures Attend Karne Mein Rakha Kya Hai,
Class Mein Jo Baithe Woh Tanha Hai,
Baaju Mein Jaane Ko Canteen Hai
TP Karne Ke Liye Library Aur Gym Hai.
Log Chupp Chupp Ke Proxy Dete Hain,
JAANE KYON Aap He Yu Darte Hain,
JAANE KYON .......
_____________________________________________________________________________-_
5) KOI KAHE
KOI KAHE , Kahta Rahe Professors Ka Kaam Hai Pakana,
Princi Ke Saamne , Kabhi Nahi Ban Ne Ka Shaana,
Jab Class Hai
Time Pass Hai,
Phir Kis Liye Karna Assignment,
College Mein Baithana To Hai Ek Punishment,
Bill Gates College - Nahin Gaya Hai
Dhiru Bhai Bhi - Nahin Gaya Hai
Tum Bhi Kabhi Mat Jao
Prof Bhadke - Bhadkane Do,
Black List Nikle - Nikal ne Do
Na Ghabrao
Students Naya Par Education System
Kyon Ho Purana......
Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might
miss it.
Some Pakistani Jokes
You're locked in a room with Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, and a
Pakistani.You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
Shoot the Pakistani twice to make sure he's dead.!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Paki news editor got 20 years in prison for calling the Prime Minister
a fool.The punishment -5 years for the scandal and 15 for revealing a
state secret!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A big Sardar walked into a bar with his pet tiger on a leash and asked
the bartender, "Do you serve Pakistanis here?". "Sure we do," replied the
bartender.
"Good," said the Sardar. "Give me a beer, and one Pakistani for my
tiger."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ashraf, the Pakistani went to London's Heathrow airport to buy his ticket
back home to Rawalpindi.At the counter he found that he was 10 pence short
of the fare. Having no other way out, he turned to all the other
passengers and begged. "Will someone please give me 10 pence? I badly want
to go back and meet my Abba and Ammi! again! "Here" said a Sardar,
reaching into his wallet and handing him one Pound"..keep the change and
take nine of your country men with you!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Pakistani, An Indian, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in
a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and...it gets completely
dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of
the tunnel. The woman and the Indian are sitting there looking perplexed.
The Pakistani is bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent
slap.
The old woman is thinking : That Pakistani must have tried to kiss that
girl and has got slapped.
The Pakistani is thinking : "Damn it, that Indian must have tried to kiss
the girl, she thought it was me and slapped me."
The girl is thinking : "That Pakistani must have moved to kiss me, and
kissed the Indian instead and got slapped."
The Indian is thinking, "If this train goes through another tunnel, could
make another kissing sound and slap that Pakistani again."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pakistani cricket team
After the defeat of Pakistani cricket team, the team members were not
able to show their faces to people and they chose not to go in public and
rather just pack up in hotel rooms.
Saeed Anwar could not resist for too long to be in UK and still not be
able to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself as a Sardaar
and goes out.He meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him "Hi
Saeed Anwar!" Surprised for having been caught he comes back and makes
himself up as a woman
- in Burkha etc and goes out. Yet again - the same woman greets him "Hi
Saeed Anwar!".
Saeed Anwar comes back determined to give it yet another try with the mak
e up of a Hippie wig and shorts etc.
All in vain - the same lady catches him again and greets him "Hi Saeed
Anwar!". Bewildered by now, he could not help asking, "How do you manage to
recognise me each time?" and comes the answer, shhh...stupid... I'm
Waseem, your captain"!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Musharraf dies and reaches hell. The devil tells him he has a choice of
three rooms in hell and asks him where he would like to go. Musharraf of
course would like to see for himself before he chooses. Devil obliges.
It's hell and it can't get any better than this anyway. Mushy peeps into
the first room and sees everybody standing on their heads on sharp gravel
ground.
Mushy says he wants to pass the first one. The devil takes him to the
second. Mushy sees everyone standing on their head just like the first one
but in a feet of boiling water. Mushy shudders and says he wants to pass
the second one too.
They reach the third room. Mushy is surprised. Everybody is smoking and
best of all they are not standing on their heads. They are standing on
their feet but are in one feet on SHIT. Mushy thinks for a second. Stand
in shit but you can walk around, smoke, talk. 'This is it' he says.
The devil books him in and no turning back. Mushy gets inside and lights
up a smoke. A minute later the devil walks in and says "Alright everybody.
Smoking break is over GET BACK ON YOUR HEADS!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once a cruise ship carrying people from all the nations was on an around
the world' tour when it got grounded. The ship slowed down and finally
came to a grinding halt. Captain of the ship called an emergency meeting
and told the passengers, "Friends, we are in trouble because of God being
angry with us. We need to give sacrifice and I need three people to
sacrifice their life so that rest of us can be saved." All of them moved
towards the Deck where a Japanese came forward and
shouted "Long live Japan" and jumped into the sea. Then a Israeli stepped
forward said "Hallelujah" and dived into the sea. After that no one came
forward for few seconds while people stared at each other and suddenly out
of nowhere a Sardarji came forward near the railing and chanted, " Jo
bole-so-nihal, sat sri akaal, wahe guruji da khalsa, wahe guruji di fateh,
Jai maa Kali, Jai maa Durga, Jai Hanuman, Jai Sri Ram, Jai siva-sankar,Jai
baba nanak di, Jai jawan jai kissan " and finally yelled at the top of his
voice, "Bharat mata ki jai". And kicked the Pakistani standing next to
him in the sea.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Pakistanis boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York... One sat
in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a
fat, little Indian guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the
Pakistanis. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in
when the Pakistani
in the window seat said, "I think I'll go up and get a coke." "No
problem,"
said the Indian. "I'll get it for you."
While he was gone, the Pakistani picked up the Indian's shoe and spit in
it. When the Indian returned with the coke, the other Pakistani said,
"That looks good.I think I'll have one too."
Again, the Indian obligingly went to fetch it, and while he is gone the
other Pakistani picked up the other shoe and spit in it. The Indian
returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight
to New York... As the plane was landing the Indian slipped his feet into
his shoes and knew immediately what had happened...
"How long must this go on?" the Indian asked. "This enmity between our
people..... this hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes and
pissing in cokes?"