Girl Scout Humor




Contents

Humorous Girl Scout Terms and Their Meanings?
How to Camp with Girls and Survive
Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from Being A Girl Scout Leader


Humorous Girl Scout Terms and Their Meanings?

from Alyson M. of the Pickering Valley Service Unit in Freedom Valley Girl Scout Council, Pennsylvania

Four Program Goals For Girls:
1. To Develop to Her Full Individual Potential.
Translation: You are a very small cog in a very big machine.
2. To Relate to Others With Increasing Understanding, Skill, and Respect.
Translation: You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.
3. To Develop Values to Guide Her Actions and to Provide the Foundation for Sound Decision-making.
Translation: Never Miss a Meeting or a Deadline
4. To Contribute to the Improvement of Society Through the Use of Her Abilities and Leadership Skills, Working in Cooperation With Others.
Translation: Sell cookies and collect for Family Partnership Campaign.

Troop Committee:
Family Partnership Chairman - Calls parents to tell them the leader needs money to send in.
Cookie Chairman - Parent with a garage and a pick up truck.
Emergency Contact - Parent who is always home except when you need them.
Telephone Chairman - Calls to tell parents what was in the note sent home.
Transportation Chairman - Parent with station wagon or van.

Types of Troop Government:
Brownie Ring - Circle of chairs that girls run around.
Town Meeting - Chairs all face the same way but girls don't.
Patrol System - Small groups of chairs - girls all in the bathroom.

Girl Scout Glossary:
Badge - A small, round patch on a girl's sash that she can't remember what she did to get.
Bridging - A ceremony in which girl is given her honorable discharge from the troop.
Brownie - Short girl in brown dress which is either 2 sizes too big or 1 size too small.
Buddy System - Pairing of girls which guarantees they will never be in the same place at the same time.
Cadette - Tall girl who would rather be caught dead than be seen in uniform.
Candelighting - Ceremony in which a Girl Scout demonstrates that she cannot light a match.
Color Guard - Group of Girl Scouts tripping over each other while banging flag poles into door jambs.
Court of Awards - Ceremony parents attend to make sure their daughter got more badges than the neighbor's daughter.
Court of Honor - Mythical part of the patrol system.
Daisy - Very short girl with blue smock covering all food, paint, and grubby hand stains on regular clothes.
Fly-Up - Brownie ceremony similar to Bridging ceremony, but girls are booted out of the nest as well.


How to Camp with Girls and Survive

from Tejas GS Council Day Camp Leader's Book 1994 (I think - the book has no date in it.) 1. Make sure they all have permission slips. This is excellent evidence at your sanity hearing that the parents had confidence in you.
2. Don't drive them to camp yourself. These are the last calm minutes you will have for several days.
3. Assign work to Patrol Leaders and hide in your tent.
4. Food in tents should be discouraged except when there's a girl you wish the critters would carry off.
5. Don't let them bring radios. Do you really want to know your toes turned blue last night because it was 24 degrees?
6. Bring a large can of deodorant and leave it in te unit -- perhaps that girl will borrow it.
7. Make them stay with their buddy. You can lose them twice as fast!
8. Smaller girls may be encouraged to washjby informing them that cold water washing will prevent them from shrinking.
9. Insist on proper dress -- shoes and socks are a must; even in a nudist camp. Besides, you are not strong enough to see how dirty their feet are.
10. Ask permission to pass through other's campsites. Some people shoot trespassers.
11. Have the cooks soap the outside of pots before cooking. That way you know they have had contact with soap before cooking.
12. Any girl producing a meal without sand in the food should be touted as an outstanding cook.
13. Try not to faint when they are covered with blood. It makes a bad impression and you will get the name of a big chicken. Do you know the first aid for a cut tongue and a tick in the navel?
14. Sing often - it cuts down on the profanity you are thinking.
15. Look before you put your foot down or sit down or pick up. Snake bites on the rear can be painful and you will find out who your real friends are.
16. Inform the girls that one lantern should be placed in front of the leaders tent so that they can find it in the night. It isn't necessary to explain that you can't sleep without a night light.
17. The problem of girls leaving the tents at night can be controlled by starting a rumor that your co-leader is a vampire and prowls at night.
18. If primitive camping, make sure latrines are filled in well. No one likes to be hiking and get that kind of a surprise.
19. Always wear a Girl Scout nametag on the way home. When the nice man stops you on the highway, he'll understand your unusual behavior and appearance.
20. Always pack your sense of humor with your first aid kit, for a "Merry heart doeth good like a medicine."
21. Have courage, for each day that you make it through brings you that much closer to the end.


Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from Being A Girl Scout Leader

1. Green is always an appropriate fashion statement.
2. There is no such thing as trash, only future craft supplies.
3. Sleeping under the stars is invigorating to the soul.
4. You can survive in the wilderness with a flashlight and a pocket knife.
5. Girl Scout cookies have no fat and no calories.
6. Walk softly and carry a copy of SafetyWise.
7. Always travel with a buddy.
8. Don't cry over spilled paint and don't sweat the small stuff.
9. Girls like to be seen and heard.
10. No song is too silly to sing and nobody sings off key.
11. Working on a team is much easier than working alone.
12. Plans gone awry can lead to the very best times.
13. That responsibility, opportunity, hard work and success are all related.
14. Girls really can rub two sticks together to make a fire.
15. You can learn something from the tiniest Girl Scout.
16. Good friends are like silver and gold.
17. There is no substitute for advance preparation.
18. There is no such thing as failure, only a change in plans.
19. You are never too old to try new things.
20. Leadership is a two way street.
21. Sharing knowledge is truly a path to immortality.
22. Never let petty politics keep you from your mission.
23. Patience really is a virtue.
24. If a Girl Scout Leader can't do it, nobody can.
25. A girl's smile is worth a thousand words.
26. If they are leading or succeeding, they probably were a Girl Scout.

Kathy Little 2001
Also posted at www.scoutingweb.com at http://www.scoutingweb.com/scoutingweb/SubPages/EveryThing.htm



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