How to be Annoying
- Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green and insist
to others that "you like it that way".
- Drum on every available surface.
- Sing the Batman theme song incessantly.
- Staple papers in the middlie of the page.
- Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
- Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
- Specify that your drive thru order is "to go".
- Set alarms for random times.
- In a "chat" room, ask if "anyone wants to chat".
- Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon
- Publicy investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental
movies.
- Decline to be seated at a restaraunt and simply eat thier complementary
mints by the cash register.
- Begin all your sentences with "Ooh la la!".
- Rouse your roomates from slumber each morning with Lou Reeds "Metal
Machine Music".
- Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Pay for your dinner with pennies.
- Write "X-BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someones roadmaps.
- Light road flares on a birthday cake.
- Wander around the restaraunt, asking other diners for their parsley.
- Leave tips in Bidivian currency.
- Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
- Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
- At the laundromat, use one dryer for each one of your socks.
- Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
- Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
- Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
- Drive half a block.
- Name your dog "Dog".
- Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- Ask any school teacher their age.
- Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a
"real hoot".
- Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that
you don't want to fall off "in cause the big one comes".
- Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with
a can of Lysol.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Change your name to Jane Aaaaaaasmith for the great glory of being the
first in the phone ook. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that
people pronounce each A.
- Sit in front of your yard pointing a hairdryer at passing cars to see
if they slow down.
- Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
- Mow your lawn with scissors.
- Finish all your sentences with the words "In accordance with prophesy".
- Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't
cricket".
- Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".
- Never flush the toilet.
- Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
- Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy rug and seek out victims.
- Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing
awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more
any moment.
- Never make eye contact.
- Never break eye contact.
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your
ears.
- Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
- When taking a shower, make sure the drain plug is in.
- Predict simple things such as tomorrow's date and claim you're psychic.
- Talk to yourself in public.
- Refuse to comb your hair.
- Speak in "pig latin".
- Talk to stuffed animals.
- Talk and walk like a robot.
- TyPe LiKe ThIs iN cHaTrOoMs.
- Fart in public.
- Pretend you work at a store and ask others, "Can I help you?"
- Buy a "Big Glup" soda then go to a crowded subway and take tiny sips
and after each one say, "Ahhhh".
- Try to break dance to country music.
- Sing folk songs in public.
- Beg for money in your normal clothes.
- Test drive every car in the lot.
- Insist that you are "God".
- Go to a drive-thru resturant and say, "Okay listen-up, I want two....a
large fri. Umm, a .... with no cheese, a small .... with no ice and a
large...." This will leave the person very confused. When they tell you
to repete your order, drive up to the window really fast.
- Paint your face when you go to chruch.
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Last modified June 11, 2004 by
Technology Corpse