Seniors vs. Freshman: A Comparison

 

Freshman: Are never in bed past noon.

Senior: Are never out of bed before noon.

 

Freshman: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut.

Senior: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend.

 

Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.

Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mtn. Dew into a recitation class.

 

Freshman: Calls the professor "Professor."

Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."

 

Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.

Senior: Drives to class if it's further than three blocks away.

 

Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.

Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.

 

Freshman: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.

Senior: Knows where the next class is. Maybe.

 

Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.

Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.

 

Freshman: Have to ask where the computer labs are.

Senior: Has 'own' personal workstation.

 

Freshman: Use the campus buses to go everywhere.

Senior: Use the campus buses to run block while crossing the street.

 

Freshman: Worry about the last freshman composition essay.

Senior: Worry about the last GRE essay.

 

Freshman: Looks forward to first classes of the year.

Senior: Looks forward to first beer garden of the year.

 

Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.

Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.

 

Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm.

Senior: Is proud of not _quite_ failing his Complex Analysis midterm.

 

Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every other night.

Senior: Calls Domino's every other night.

 

Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of profs.

Senior: Is appalled that the campus 'Subway' burned down over the summer.

 

Freshman: Conscienciously completes all homework, including optional questions.

Senior: Offers to 'tutor' conscientious frosh of opposite sex.

 

Freshman: Goes on grocery shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus.

Senior: Has a beer with Mom before moving onto campus.

 

Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to society.

Senior: Is excited about new dryers in laundry room.

 

Freshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in class.

Senior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class.

Back to Humor Home Last modified June 11, 2004 by Technology Corpse