I've told myself time after time that I was young.  I was inexperienced.  I was immature and didn't know any better.  I didn't know about love.  I didn't want to know about love.  At that point in time, I wasn't ready to commit to a girl.  It was a bad experience but I definitely learned my lesson.  It helped me to grow up.  Looking back, some of the decision I made were just dumb.  I didn't know what I had in Amy.  I refused to put her first.  I didn't know what I had until it was gone.

     It's funny for me to say that because when me and Amy hooked up, she was coming out of a bad relationship.  I had to convince her that I could treat her better.  I told her that nobody could appreciate her like I would.  I told her I wouldn't her.  Well, I lied.  I did the total opposite.  Temptation showed its face.  It called me and got the best of me.  It was like a worrisome mosquito.  The only way I could kill it was if I gave in and I did.  That was when I lost Amy.  Everything we had was gone.

     Life isn't fair at times but I got what I deserved.  I don't blame anyone except myself.  I really don't see the point in complaining since no one really cares.  If I would've done things a little differently...if I would've actually thought about it before making a decision...if I would've actually been a man rather than act like one, I wouldn't be bitchin' about my problems right now.

     I thought Amy's love for me was blind.  I thought she would forgive me.  I thought she would cry for a little while and then, get over it.  I was wrong.  Amy wasn't like the girls I had taken advantage of before.  She was intelligent.  She had a future ahead of her.  She had something going for her.  I didn't really understand that back then.  As if you didn't already know, I'm really hurt by Amy not being with me anymore.  I should be crying but I can't let it show.  All the things we could've said that we never said.  All the things we could've done that we never did.  All the things we should have given but we didn't...I wish I could make it go away.

     Now that I'm a different person...a wiser person...now that I'm bold enough to call myself a man, I wonder if Amy would give me a second chance.  Now that I've realized the mistakes I made...now that I have learned from those particular mistakes, I wonder what she would think about me.  Her thoughts about me probably wouldn't change though.  I violated her, I disrespected her, I degraded her, I took her for granted.  Nothing will ever change that.  But if there's anything I want more than anything else...I just wanna apologize.

     My feelings for her have nothing to do with the fact that she's in the WWF now.  It has nothing to do with the fact that she's beyond popular in the wrestling business.  I don't look at Amy as Lita.  I don't look at Amy as a celebrity.  That's because she isn't.  She's a normal person.  Hell, she represents normal people.  Her success hasn't changed her at all.  If she wasn't where she was today, I'd still love her.  I think it's safe to say she still loves me too.  We had some great times together.  They were definitely unforgettable.  I remember one time I was giving her a bath, she was just playing with the soap suds like a child and then, I surprised her with a gold necklace with a charm that simply said "Angel."  She was so happy.  I'll never forget that.

     If I loved her so much, why did I do what I did?  I don't know, I'm still trying to figure that out.  What I did was not worth it at all...a one night stand.  That's all I wanted back in the day.  It was all fun to me.  Find a girl, flirt with her to the best of my ability and in the end, get what I wanted all along.  The girls told me they loved me but it went one ear and out the other.  Then, I met Amy.  She wasn't easy like the other ones.  There was something about her.  The enigma I saw when I looked into her eyes.  The vibe she gave off when she stepped into a room.  Guys would swarm around her like a pack of bees.  Beautiful girls wondered where her secret was.  They could never figure it out.  The way she swung her waist, the way she licked her lips, the way she smiled.  Back then, I would try to find what exactly it was that I saw in Amy but I could never find that inner mystery.  Now, I simply know that she is a woman...phenomenally.

     There's no doubt in my mind that Amy has found a man that buys her diamonds & pearls, gives her candle lit dinners, treats her right.  I know she's found a man that shows she's worth his time.  She's found a man that isn't afraid to please her, who puts her first.  That man is a very lucky son of a gun.  I'm quite sure Amy is treating him like a woman should.  She's there for him when times are stressful.  He doesn't nothing she gives him for granted and to that man, I say thank you...for he's keeping Amy content and happy.

     From the experiences I have had with Amy, I've matured much faster than I could have ever imagined.  My outlook on life is totally different from what it used to be.  I know now to appreciate everything I have.  Now, I'm thankful for the love I get from my family and friends.  Now, I'm making something of myself.  I'm in college, studying hard for a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology.  I'm with a woman who I love very dearly and have a beautiful relationship with.  I have to thank Amy for all that.  It's kind of weird to describe but she has totally changed my life just by leaving me because now...I know a woman's worth.

Wanna please, wanna keep, wanna treat your woman right
Not just dough but show
That she knows she's worth your time
You will lose if you choose to refuse to put her first
She will and she can find a man
Who knows her worth

Cause a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man
Ain't 'fraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny
A woman's worth

The End.