How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Many years and several million cups of black coffee later, , they had devised a mathematical system for answering this question based on a number of factors. It's so simple, even an idiot (with an advanced degree in hyperbolic topology) could figure it out! So grab a pen and paper, and finally work out how much wood a woodchuck can chuck! This method is guaranteed* to work!
 

• First, you have to know the SIZE of the woodchuck. So choose a number between 5 cm (a baby woodchuck) and 500m (the mutated flesh eating  species). Got it? Let's move on.
• How eager is the woodchuck to chuck wood? Is he bone lazy? Does he have other things he'd really rather be doing? Or does he live for the sheer joy that only chucking wood can bring? Choose a number between 1 (catatonic) and 10 (obsessive) relating to the woodchuck's eagerness to chuck wood. Remember the number you picked in step one? Good! Multiply the two numbers together.
• Did you know that 'groundhog' is another name for 'woodchuck'? You didn't? Really? Well, surely you must know that groundhogs can predict when spring is coming? You didn't know that either? Don't know a lot, do you? Maybe you need to take my  Woodchuck crash course . Once you've taken the crash course, you'll understand why the season is so important to the ability of a woodchuck to chuck wood. If it's spring where you live, divide the number you've already worked out by 2. If it's not spring, divide your number by 3.
• The final factor you need to determine the amount of wood a woodchuck can chuck is the number of times you've watched the Bill Murray movie, "Groundhog Day". Add this number to your total.

 Click here to find out what your answer means!

(Coming soon- "Why does the rain in Spain stay mainly on the plain?" and " How come hurricanes hardly ever happen in Hartford, Hereford, and Hampshire?)
 

*Guarantee is void on days when the earth is orbiting the sun.