My Life as a Galoot Lunatic

As youi can obviosly tell, this site is nowhere near being finished. Ok, so it's not really even started yet. In fact I put more effort into brushing my teeth today then I did into this website. But that's ok! Cuz nobody in their right minds really care what I put into this website. Because, I haven't really decided yet. Maybe some pictures, some text, some color, maybe. Who cares? Anybody? You always come across these crazy sites on the web. They're like trying to sell you something or just trying to get their points across. Well, this site does neither. It's not selling you osmething, I don't have any backwashed hacked up conspiracy theories covering the evolution of dinosaurs who used Michael Jackson to kill of JFK and separte Sonny and CHer. And this site is anything but entertaining. I mean, thus far, there are no pictures, no backdrop, no clever jokes, not even any color. I mean you can only spell boring one way. Unless you speak Indonesian, then I guess yuo could spell it two different ways. But since I'm not Indonesian, I only spell it one way. Well, I am taking Spanish. But I got a C. I think you spell it abburido. I think. So I guess I can speel it two ways too. well, this text is really getting kind of long, so I'll leave it at that. Good Bye everyone who actully took the time to follow my ridiculous link to this ridiculous site.

~Jason

JAY BECK'S PHILOSOPHIES ON LIFE

1. Tall people are Targets

2. Loose Lips SInk SHips

3. Poeple make life difficult, it's our job to make it simpler

4. Don't hit kids with glasses, a fist is much more effective

5. If people assume something bad about you, don't confirm it

6. the definiton of a Communist is someone who either a. doesn't like apple pie, or b. thinks the millenium started last year

7. Dinosaurs evolved into giant slugs who used Michael Jackson to kill off JFK and break up Sonny and CHer. (so what? i lied!)

8. The more someone calls you a dumb blonde or a dork, they are acttuly saying "I love you" (ok, so amybe that's just a one case scenario...I LOVE YOU NANTIKAN! <3

9. No mattter what anyone says Sean Connery was tge greatest Bond ever.

10. Fortune cookies don't really hold fortunes. (just little folded up pieces of paper)

11. Little kids make life worthwhile.

12. on average there is one male for every heterosexual female married in the US. (think about it for a few seconds...)

13. When someone gives you a list of philosophies, don't expect them all to be philosophies, but some just little stupid sayings, and others epiphamies.

14. The three greatest inventions of all time and in this order...

a.speeel chek

b. sliced bread

c. Tastycake

15. When things start to get old, and people stop laughing. It's time to stop telling jokes.

My Life as a Galoot Lunatic

Kind of an intresting way to tile a website isn't it? More like a story really. Maybe I should just tell you the stories of my life. I have nothing better to do. And judging by the facxt that you've read allt he way down here. Neither do you. It all began one cold blustery wintery morning in February...

Over the years, different individuals always asked me the same question. Always assuming they were being clever by asking, "How did you get so tall?" And I always have an answer for them, the majority of those answers which surround my birth. "My head was so big, that I got stuck and the nurses pulled me halfway across the room trying to get me out." "my mom swallowed 29 string beans a night during the nine months I was in her stomach." and my personal favorite, "I take after my mom." Ok, so the last one is only funny if you know my mom, she's just about 5'0. Ok, so I kind of got off task talking about my life story. That's ok, because I don't want any of you crazies finding too much out about me and coming to my house to kill me. Trust me I know it happens. Ok, so maybe I don't know. Well, maybe not from experience anyway. People are always asking me, so what's a galoot anyway? And I always tellt hem- look it up! I'vwe come tot he conclusion that either half the poeple in the world are too lazy to look up galoot and lie to me or all these dictionaries don't have the word galoot. Direct from my 1948 dictionary here at home. galoot- (noun) an uncoth awkward fellow. and the tlal part you can understand.

So, by now as you're reading ytour beggining to wonder, who is htis dude, and why does he spend all this time typing a bunch of stupid text into a page that no one is ever going to read? And I tell you, that's not true. People will look at this site. I mean, you're looking at this site, aren't you? Or are you some loser that just loks at sites that you don't tink anyone else will look at. You know what it is, I'm boring you right? You htink, this guy needs a job or a hobby. Or both. I've been thinking about getting a hobby, you know like skydiving or bungee jumping. Maybe a little bit of underwater basket weaving. you know tha kind of thing. Obviosly though web design is not for me. A job? i don't think so. I never had a job. Spometimes I mow the lawn, does that count? He apys me, so I guess I kind of have a job. No, not the kind of job that other eople have, like flipping burgers or picking up trash. But who would want that kind of job anyway. After working at McDonalds, I don't think I would ever eat there again. I don't really want to know how much grease and such is used to make my fries and burgers. It doesn't intrest me...

Ok, you know this AOL Instant Messenger profile things? Well, you ever come across a really strange one? Here's a collection of the strangest, bizarrest (is that a word?) profiles I can find. If you come across any other good ones email them to me at tallgaloot@yahoo.com.

Why are you deciding to look at my profile instead of talking to me? Do you not trust me!? Are you hoping to find something out about me that I wouldn't tell otherwise? Is that what you are thinking? Is that what you are trying to do!? That isn't very nice. I can't beleive you would do that. Am I boring you right now while you are talking to me? Is that it? Are you trying to find something more amusing to do cuz you don't want to just say 'hey I don't want to talk to you'. Is that it? Well fine! Maybe I don't want to talk to you. How 'bout that? but hey, you know I wuv you. and of course I would never say anything like that. besides, it was fun to watch you sweat a little. lol. hey, you wanted interesting. I gave you interesting. Love you Jason!

TallGaloot is gonna get hacked sometime soon.... O:-) If you are reading this, then you have waayyyy too much time on your hands. Get a life. Or a job. HI TallGaloot!!! JASON LOVES YOU!!! <3 <3 <3

Did you know that if you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas would be produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb? now THATS what im talkin bout! ooooooh yeah! man made beer, God made pot...who do you trust? ok...here comes the boring part so unless you know me you might as well just go now...

I am bored and have nothing to do which is the reason I have AOL Instant Messenger.

Wow, so people aren't as creative as I thought when it comes to those silly little profile things. During my search I came up with lot of intresting profiles. You know perfect little sayings that would fit well into the profile. Like, I dunno, Bite me for one. Or how about HI! You know creative little stories too. Like what's on this site. You would all talk to someone with a site as beautiful as this one. Your nodding your head yes, right? Actully, I know you wont. Ever since I put this page up poeple have stopped talking to me. Online at least. They never talked to me other places before anyway. HA, just kidding. You probably don't think I'm kidding do you? You probabnly think this loser has nohing better to do then sit around in his pj's and type up this stupid site. He probably has no friends!!! That's what you're thinking isn't it?! Yeah, well BRING IT! Just because, I'm tall and blonde doesn't mean you can make fun of me. *sniffle sniffle* Nobody cares about me. They don't even care enough to IM me at Tallgaloot. Or email me atr tallgaloot@yahoo.com (hint, hint. you losers! I need friends!!) Subtle and sweet, just the like I way it. No, that's not right. Way I like it. There you go.

So I made a desicion. I was like, "if this person really looked at my page fopr this long, it's time to reward them. SOund good? So I decided to put a nice picture here. Now, if you just scrolled tot he bottom of the page and saw it without really reading it, then shame on you! Go abck and read. Now. ok here it is.

Ok, so now I decided to place some links on thsi page. I'll ahve two sets of links. One will be just a list of incredibly insane sites that i've stumbled upon and the other is a list of sites I've made. I know, this site is getting a little high tch for all of you. Sorry about that. Here it is.

Sites I've Made

Bethel Baptist Youth Group Page

This site was made by me for my youth group at Bethel Baptist Church in Cherry Hill. I, along wiht my youth pastor designed it. Absolutely no craziness ont his page. (sorry!)

Defending the Faith

This site was made to defend Christianity and the preachings and life of Jesus Christ. My religious beliefs and practices are explained here, as well with some cool links. I must warn you however, thios site is just getting started and I need some help maintain it.

Insane Sites I've Stumled Across or People have sent to me to Bug Me With the complete Insanity People Try To Express Which Comes Nowhere As Close to The Funa dn Craziness (not to mention bad spelling) I've created ont his page

http://www.oocities.org/nathancookepage/

Send your suggestions. That is of course, if you feel like it. Which you better. GRRRRR.

According to my handy dandy little File MAnagar,(Thank you Geo Cities) I haven't modified this page in6 months. Shame on me. I ahve left the faithful ofllowers of my page in the dark. And I knwo there are many of you. Millions of you. If you didn't catch it my page was on the top ten most visited sites last week, You don't believe me, do you? Well, go look it up. It was in that amgazine. You know, the one with all the pictures. And all the words. And those people that wrote it. Yep. Oh, and my stocks for this site have been going way up. If you look in the paper for my stock, I go under the code name Dell. It stands for Galoot's web page. I know it doesn't add up, but neither do apples and oranges, yet we still ahve fruit baskets.

I can't believe you're stillr eading htis site. Well, I guess you might not be reading it. And I might be typing at no one. But, I might be writng to somebody and then that would be really cool. Hey, I got a twest to see if people are rerally reading to the bottom of th epage. I'll put up a link at the bottom of the page, with an email address. If you send me an email, telling me you read the whole thing...I'll uh send you a free gift. Yeah...that's the ticket... A beustiful gift. With a retail value of...well, that's enough isn't it? A retail value. Ahhh. OOOhhhh. The suspense is killing you, I know.

Well, this site is nowhere from being done. My insanity will reign forever on this page. And it will never be completely finished. BWAAAHAAAAAA.

It's been a long time old friend, old computer, old internet site. I have missed you. Don't you dare accuse me of only updating because Geocities promised ot shut me down if I didn't. I am offended, shocked, and slightly disturbed. I AM OUTRAGED AT YOUR INCREDULOUS AND UNBIASED UNFOUNDED OPINIONS.

My New Outlet Yup

I READ THE WHOLE THING!!