Advice2

Dear Manda,

I know it's kind of lame for a guy to write into such a chick-like column, but I wear white corduroy shorts, so it's not too surprising.

Basically, I am constantly cheating on my girlfriend. She lives 15 minutes away, but I choose to sit at home and do nothing and hang out with other chicks rather than see her. Obviously we're very much in love, and as shown by my actions I feel absolutely no guilt.

What do you think I should do? This is a real dilemma, since I've been an underhanded ass for about a month now.

With Confusion,

Dastardly Dustin
Los Angeles, CA

Dear Dastardly Dustin,

First of all, I would like to comment that you sound very hot, despite that you're completely messing up lives.

You need to choose or lose, buster. Your girlfriend will be better off without your cheating ass and maybe just maybe the girl you're cheating on her with really wants you. Either way, someone needs to go.

If I was either of these girls, I'd kick you to the curb in two seconds flat, but quite obviously I am in no way related to this situation that has been occurring since May 12, 2001.

Hope you come to your senses soon,

Manda