Thank you, Clark Kent.

May 21, 2004 6:38 pm

It is once again, a rainy night. Somehow, the rain creates a world of murkiness and depression for me. As always. I don’t know why I am hurting even though I am happy for you. (Believe me, I am.) I told myself that I wouldn’t be thinking about this anymore. That I wouldn’t be poignant anymore. But as I say this, I can no longer avoid the twinge of pain that is clutching my heart. I am broken. And this time—this is for you. This is because of you. You may not know. And…perhaps, I would want to keep things this way. Yes. I am in pain…and I’m sorry. Because I know I shouldn’t be hurting. Not now. And especially not because of you.

May 8, 2004 11:32 am

Every Me, Every You
Placebo

Sucker love is heaven sent...you pucker up, our passion’s spent. My hearts a tart your body’s rent, my body’s broken yours is spent.

Carve your name into my arm...instead of stressed I lie here charmed. 'Cause there’s nothing else to do, every me and every you.

Sucker love a box I choose, no other box I choose to use. Another love I would abuse, no circumstances could excuse.

In the shape of things to come...too much poison come undone. 'Cause there’s nothing else to do, every me and every you, every me and every you. Every me...

Sucker love is known to swing, prone to cling and waste these things. Pucker up for heaven sake, there’s never been so much at stake.

I serve my head up on a plate, it’s only comfort calling late. 'Cause there’s nothing else to do, every me and every you, every me and every you, every me...every me and every you, every me...

Like the naked leads the blind, I know I’m selfish, I’m unkind. Sucker love, I always find someone to bruise and leave behind. All alone in space and time, there’s nothing here but what here’s mine. Something borrowed, something blue, every me and every you, every me and every you, every me...every me.

May 5, 2004 1:42 pm

/me sings “Stones taught me to fly…love taught me to lie. Life it taught me to die…still a little bit of your song in my ear…still a little bit of your words I long to hear…”

I am dying within. I need reassurance. It’s…uncanny how easy it is for me to burst in to tears. I need help. I can’t take anymore of these so-called mood swings.

Elation—the next, I’m in the depths of despair. I need help. Relieve me. Please. Before I rupture.

I need salvation.

I wait for the day…when I feel no sorrow.

May 4, 2004 9:10 am

Sib! Haha. I’m on my way to the airport. Wow. Fucking early! Ahhhh.

Sent:
03:45:25
04-05-2004

*EARLY is an understatement, sib. HAHA. :D Yay. Take care of yourself, okay? :)) I’ll miss you. Ciao.

To the most excellent author [?] of blogs/Pumba:

Lay off my best friend. I have always fought for your pathetic writing, dear. But this time, you are on your own. May I offer you some piece of advice? Hmmm. When you’re arguing with someone…please at least, have the decency to use the RIGHT grammar. Thank you very much. Alexandrea was pretty much laughing her ass off instead of getting pissed. Haha.

April 26, 2004 6:31 pm

Why is it when we’re in love—we often doubt that which we most believe? Beats me.

Rebuff

This is not what I am. I don’t crumble. I don’t cry over anyone. I don’t show people that I’m weak. Defenseless. Unarmored.

But how come—I vacillate whenever you’re near me? How can one have such effect on me? Who are you to make me feel this way? To make me feel…as if…I were seeing the night sky for the first time. As if—I were seeing the stars…the first time?

This is not real.

I refuse the fact that you have the capacity to make me feel feeble. You have the power to make or break me with your entrancing smile. How can this be possible?

I feel nothing. (Or, so I wish.)

Spellbound inside a mere delusion—let me out onto what is genuine and what is feasible.

You cannot love me. But why am I still hoping?

I DO NOT WANT TO HOPE. Don’t give me this feeling. I don’t want it.

I DON’T want YOU.

April 25, 2004 8:31 pm

The tears were getting close—she had to focus on her anger before they came and drowned her.

/me sings: “What can I do to make you mine? Falling so hard—so fast, this time. What did I say? What did you do? How did I fall in love with you?”
The world doesn’t know what you have WITHIN. Sigh. There’s no one I know that can compare to you…

Distraction as a coping method is utterly underrated.

Who am I kidding? :))

We can’t control fate…I do what I can to get through the day…

“In life, God doesn't give you the people you want...instead He gives you the people you need...to teach you, to hurt you, to love you, and to make you exactly the way you are...”

Okay. I am a certified bored-to-tears, sappy freak.

Untitled

She told me—a month before today. But I wasn’t able to gather enough courage to tell her how I felt. We stood underneath the oak tree—our favorite place. HER favorite place. Today—she was going to say goodbye.

“I have to go,” she said. I remained frozen. I couldn’t ask her to stay. My pride envelops my being and I…stand defenseless and numb. “Well…aren’t you going to say anything?” I tremble. I cannot tell her what I feel. I cannot tell her how much she meant to me—I cannot tell her. She laughs and sighs—“Oh well. I’ll see you in two years, okay?” “Okay.” “Under this very same tree…you will wait for me. Right?” She shoves my arm playfully. “Yes. I will.” I tell her. I reach out to hold her close her…she hugged me back. I live in the sensation of her being near me. Of her skin grazing mine. And just as swiftly as she hugged me—she was gone. “Goodbye.” I say. But she already was walking away…and she stays unaware of how I feel.

Until now…my feelings remain tacit.

Two years have passed—I have waited. Under that same oak tree, where we once said goodbye. She will come back. I believe. Eventually she will…and I will finally get to tell her. How much…I really did love her. And how much…I still do.

I have waited. And yet—she never came. Unanswered letters. Unanswered phone calls. But she was never the one to blame. It is I. And now, I thrive on the moment when I will be actually able to tell her—that she…meant EVERYTHING to me. But I fear—that, that day might never come. It’s been…three years. And I’m still waiting. I’m still waiting, Jade. Under that oak tree were we first met.

I love you…until then. These words will remain implicit. Unspoken—unrequited.

[I AM sentimental. So, sue me.]

April 24, 2004 4:43 pm

Word of advice, dear friend: Retaliation—won’t get you anywhere.

I repudiate the sensation that I feel whenever I’m near you. No amount of strength would ever make me surpass your dwindling, but, beguiling smile. I am…defenseless. When it comes to you. I am neurotic. Exhilarated. Distressed. Weak. Elated.

Every feeling is intensified.

I cannot breathe. And yet these moments with you, are the ones I live for. You make my knees grow weak with your awe-inspiring being.

And yet…I remain nonexistent to you. I am nonentity in the breathtaking world you live in.

In refutation—I subsist.

It is better this way.

~Balisong

Your face lights up the sky on the highway. Someday, you'll share your world with me...someday. You mesmerize me with diamond eyes; I try to fool myself to think I'll be alright. But I am losing all control. My mind, my heart, my body and my soul...

Never in my life have I been more sure, so come on up to me and close the door. Nobody's made me feel this way before; you're everything I wanted and more.

To speak or not to; where to begin. The way dilemmas I'm finding myself in. For all I know you only see me as a friend. I try to tell myself wake up fool; this fairy tale's got to end...

April 19, 2004 11:40 am

What is it do you fear?

Falling in love.

I have always feared it. And perhaps, I always will. It is such a convoluted mixture of emotions and decisions.

I fear my heart. I can’t trust it to make intellectual choices when matters of affection are spoken of. I fear…love. It’s mystery and beauty, remain surreptitious to me—there are some occasions in which I long for it…and instances that I steer clear of it; at all costs.

This is the weakness of a man. The drawback of being human…this is the one thing that hinders our capability to think logically. We fall for all the fallacious crap that whoever says to us. Completely unaware of the fact that we’re being utterly asinine in believing whatever it is that they’re saying.

And yet—these are the moments we live for. Ironic, isn’t it? How the very thing that makes us alive…tears us apart and leaves us feeling jaded.

Love makes us vulnerable. Fragile. Breakable.

Because once the heart perceives something—the heart sees what it wants to see. Not the truth. Never the truth. Love is manipulative. Illusory. Nothing is what it seems. NOTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS.

I have cried. I have hurt. I have loved—you. Maybe if I can convince myself that at one point, you loved me back—maybe then, I would be content. I’d be content that in the itinerary of our closeness, there was a moment when you saw me differently—a moment where there was mutuality. Even if it was so abrupt that I never noticed it at all. Oh well.

As I gaze at the crimson sky, I can’t help but think about—you and me. Those nights when tears…and hurting seemed endless. Infinite. Infinite cries. Infinite words. Infinite thoughts. Everything is much clearer now. I am finally able to breathe. If you love someone…you say it. You say it right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment…just passes you by. Trust me on this. Say, “I love you” when you get the chance. It might turn out to be the only opportunity you get.

It’s hard to hold on to something that you know would never be yours in a way you think of. You just have to learn to let go and face the fact that while good things never last—some don’t even start.
I am moving on.

April 1, 2004 11:16 am

It's been a long time. Haha. I just don't know what to say anymore. Hmmm...Same shit. Different day. [Ssdd] as we so fondly refer to it. Oh well. I'll update later. Until then. Ciao~.

February 24, 2004 4:59 pm

I hate getting sick. ESPECIALLY since I didn’t get sick the whole year. Okay. Not exactly. There is…the pampering that goes with it. But NOT now. When every day suddenly seems PRICELESS—when every day actually IS priceless. God. Great. Just great. Oh well.

February 22, 2004 10:22 pm

Time flies when you’re having fun. Clichéd. But, nevertheless, undeniably true.

As the Glee Club sang, “...Habang umaawit ay naaalala ka. Ang nakalipas sa buhay malilimot pa ba...? Ngunit pansamantala'y hanggang dito nalang..." Hanggang dito na lang. We barely have six days left. SIX DAYS as seniors of MCHS. :[ Sorry. I’m feeling sentimental and poignant. Friends…thank you for…being a part of my life. For being a part of—me. I love each and every one of you. Regardless if you hurt me, or I hurt you once…I love you. That’s all there is to it. If I didn’t care about you…I wouldn’t bother to get mad…or hurt by you. Thank you for all the memories. No matter how bittersweet.

Carla~ Mica…I miss our long talks about our lives. I miss the way you rap Eminem’s songs. I miss our letters and our phone conversations…I miss you. Nothing really…it’s just that we don’t get to talk anymore…and we used to talk EVERY DAY. In school. In between classes. After school…EVERY DAY. Oh well. I love you Mica. Thank you for making me feel better about myself…for accepting me for who I am…for always being there and being the shoulder I can cry on. You do know that I’m here for you…right? Anytime. Every day. I’m just here whenever you need me, Mica. You are and always will be a part of who I am.

Nina~ I’m sorry for my shortcomings. I’m sorry if…our friendship failed us more than once. I don’t know why. I don’t think anyone knows why…but it just happened. I’m sorry for all the times I was immature. *Yes, I know I was. And for that, I’m saying sorry. Did you even know how much I valued our friendship? :[ Well…I did. And I still do. Today, when I see at the corridors and hallways, we greet each other hello…but it’s not the same. It’s not the same. I wish we could be…friends again. To really talk…to really listen to each other. Oh well. I love you Nina. Thank you for everything you ever did for me.

Trishka~ I am ashamed and guilty of all the times that I was not worthy to be called your friend. You don’t deserve that, Trish. We’ve been through a lot of fighting and crying…but then, when I think back now…all I can remember are the good times. Not the bad. Never the bad. :[ Thank you for always being there. For always sticking with me through the good and bad times. For helping me…for listening to my pathetic cries of help…for being there to comfort me. I’m sorry if I wasn’t as a good friend to you as you were to me. I hope you can someday forgive me. *Not that you’re mad at me—because I know that you aren’t like that Trish. You aren’t like—me. I’m sorry. I miss you. And I will forever be missing you...I love you Trish.

Dea~ We’ve been friends since the 6th grade. Throughout that period of time…we’ve had our share of misunderstandings and the like. Panchita, I’m sorry. I love you and I still treasure our friendship. Thank you for the memories. I will never forget you. I miss you. I hope that…one of these days, we could get together…and just talk. And catch up on each other’s lives.

Finella~ Eya…when I first met you, I didn’t know that our friendship would have this much depth. You’ve been there for me…a countless number of times. Always willing to listen…to console me…and for that, I will forever be grateful that I met you. I want you to know just one thing…that whatever happens—friend, I will always be here. Always. You could count on that. Thank you for the laughter…and the tears. I love you! Don’t forget me…okay? :]

Tin~ We barely talk now…but I know that just like me, you’ll be there whenever I need you. And for that I am thankful. Thank you for always being there. You give great advices Tin. Often times, I remember what you said to me and that helps me make the right decisions. Thank you for the reassurance. Life, is indeed beautiful…I’m glad that God gave me the chance to meet you. People like you…come only—once in a lifetime. X) I love you Tin.

Alex~ Thank you for always cheering me up…for getting pissed whenever I pity myself. :D I love you Lexy. I know our friendship would last…for eternity. You know why? It’s simply because we love each other. We almost forgot that a few months back…but heck, I know we would never forget—ever. Again. Thank you for the friendship, unconditional love and the advices. I appreciate everything you did for me, Lex. I will never forget you.

Zinky~ Zinx…thank you for always being there…I missed you. You know? And I guess, I’ll always be missing you. You never left me…I’m sorry if I have not done the same. :( I will be forever ashamed that I destroyed our friendship. I love you Zinx. I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me and be my friend again. Oh well. Thank you for everything.

Japs~ Japs…I’m sorry for all the things I’ve said. I love you Japs. You’re right. You didn’t deserve that. But there’s nothing I can do to change what was…:[ I’m just…hoping that maybe…someday, things will be okay again. That someday…we’ll be able to talk about…everything…just like before. I miss you Japs…

Rox~ Rox…thank you for all the times you were there for me. Even way back in second year…and especially last summer. You hurt me—but I know I hurt you as well. :( I love you Rox. I’m sorry for whatever I had said. Or for…giving up on our friendship. I don’t know. I guess…it just seemed…hopeless. But what I learned now is that—there’s nothing impossible in this world. Not if you want it to happen…well…I hope someday we’d be able to talk again. With no…hesitations. Thank you for being a part of my life. I won’t forget you. Thank you for helping me grow as a person.

Juami~ Thank you for giving me genuine friendship. I miss the days when we’d just talk…and laugh about the silliest of things. I love you Wam. I’m sorry for pushing you away. That was never my intention—but…oh well. The past has passed. There’s nothing we can do about it. I just hope that someday we could be like before again. Nothing really—I just missed you. I miss you, in fact. I just wanted you to know that. That I love you and that I valued our friendship with all…of me. I’m sorry for all my flaws.

Jenina/Nana/Chie~ I miss talking to all of you. Not that we were that close…but oh well. I miss you. I’m sorry if I pushed you people away. :( I didn’t want to. Pride—is evil. Oh well. I hope someday we’d become friends again. Thank you for the laughter and the tears. Being a part of the “barkada” was worth every minute of it. Even if I was unhappy to be torn apart from the group…oh well. Sorry for everything. I wish we could be "friends again." To really talk...and really listen to each other. Maybe someday...I love you guys.

France~ Bes. Thank you for being there for me. I’m sorry for always being uber sensitive. Oh well. I’m trying to change. But I can’t help it. I guess I’m just really an emotional person. Oh well. I know you still love me* ;] I love you Bes. Thank you for consoling me during times of great depression. For every breakdown—for every twinge of pain in my heart. Thank you. I would never forget you. I hope our friendship lasts…for far longer than forever.

Clark~ My pillar. My strength. My ally. Hey sib. I love you, you know that, don’t you? Thank you for always being there for me. For making me…a better person. Thank you for making me smile every day with your crazy antics…especially when I just had a bad day— Thank you for making me see the brighter side of life. For never hesitating to talk to me whenever I need you. For all the times you’ve consoled me and for all the times you’ve made me feel better. Thank you for never leaving me. For promising, NEVER to leave me. :D Thank you for everything Clarkie. I love you friend!

Ron~ You know everything there is to know about me. I love you Ron. I miss you. You’ve always been there to make me feel better. And it really is a frustration for me not to be able to help you…every time I see that you’re in pain—my heart aches for you. I’m sorry for being useless. Thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me, friend. For never giving up on me. For the humor that you bestowed in my life. Thank you Ron. I am…and always will be grateful to have met you. If there’s anything you want to talk about—or…if you just want someone to listen…I’m just here. Always. |Basta ikaw.|

Kervs~ God. I remembered all the times you’ve heard me cried. It seems amusing to me now. Kervs, thank you for always being there to comfort me and for reassuring me that things would get better in time. You were right, dear friend. Things DID become better. :D I love you Kervs. I miss you. I hope we could talk again…maybe one of these days…huh?ö One of these days…

Bee~ When Rox was away you were her “replacement.” :D I love you Bee. Thank you for everything. For being my friend. I miss you. It’s been a long time since we last talked. Oh well. Thank you for all the times you listened to me…and for all the times you’ve made me laugh, as well. :D

Chav~ I miss you Carl. Thank you for not getting mad at me whenever I’d forced you out of bed just to talk to me. You’re a great friend—and a true one at that. Thank you for making me smile. Hmm…someday soon, we’d find the person right for us. But there’s really no need to hurry—you were right, friend. There’s NO need to hurry. :D Thank you for all the great advices you gave me. I love you Chav.

Carlo~ Thank you for always making me feel better about myself. I love you Carlo. For always being there for me. No matter what. For being such a good friend. Thank you for always listening to my nonsense. :D Even if you shouldn’t—because it is indeed, NONSENSE. Oh well. I am thankful that God gave me the chance to get to know you. Thank you for everything.

Marianne~ Miyan…I love you. You do know that, don’t you? :D I will miss you a lot. Especially because you’re leaving soon…I hope you won’t forget us…I hope you won’t forget me. I know someday, you’d become successful at whatever you pursue. You are, after all, one of the most wittiest and smartest person I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Thank you for giving me great advices—you’re special to me because you’re not like my other friends. There’s just something about you…that’s unique. And I love that. Thank you for being frank and honest with your opinions. Thank you for being someone—real. I love you Miyan. You’re one of my closest…best…friends. Don’t forget me okay?

Ninay~ Thank you for being there for me, Nay. I love you. I hope our friendship will last. I’ll miss you…especially since you’re leaving next year. I love you Nay…please, do come visit. Oh well. Thank you for everything. For always listening to me and for all the comfort you’ve given to me…*Keptain. ü

Anna~ Thank you for always being there. And for always willing to listen to my problems and my nonsense stories. Thank you for all the laughter you’ve given to my every day. :D I love you. We both deserve better. Ö Don’t forget me, okay? Thank you for everything—friend.

Timi~ Thank you for always being there to make me laugh. I love you Tim. I miss you. I hope we could get together sometime. I'm sorry if sometimes I tend to tease you too much...I don't mean to. Honest. ö Oh well. Always remember me...okay? I love youuuuuuuuuu :D

Debs~ DEBRAAA I love you. :D I know you know that already. But it feels good to say it over and over again. Thank you for being such a great friend to me. I will miss you. Thank you for all the times you were there to listen to me...for comforting me whenever I'm depressed and...down. I love you. I hope you won't forget me—once you become really famous. :D I know you will succeed in everything you do.ü

Keptain Kepels~ Friends...thank you for making me feel loved and appreciated. For making me feel special. For making me a part of the group. Thank you. I will miss each and everyone of you. Thank you friends for all the happiness you've given me.ü I lovee youu Keptainnss.

Karla/Lea/Cla~ Thank you for all the times you people were there for me. For never hesitating to help me whenever I'm in trouble. I love you friends. Thank you for never leaving me. :D

Henson~ Thank you for teaching me how to be strong. For being there in the most...depressing part of my life. Thank you for helping me grow as a person. And for every little thing you ever did for me. I love you friend.:D

Marc~ Thank you for being there. For being someone I can relate to. Thank you for the friendship. I won't forget. :D Thank you for all the times you've made me feel better about myself. Thank you...I love you, friend.ö

Melvin~ Thank you for being someone that I could really talk to. Labo noh? HAHA. Oh well. I wish you all the happiness in life. Thank you for always being there to listen. I'm just here too. I love you friend.Ü

John~ Thank you for listening to my problems. I'm sorry if I can't do anything about...right now. But then, I'm just here whenever you need me. I'm still here. I love you, dear friend. I hope you feel better soon.

Rain~ Thank you for always being there. I know you are. For always giving me great advices. For defending me whenever other people say bad things about me. Thank you, friend. I love you. ö I'm just here. Whenever you need me. I promise.

Bestie~ Thanks for everything. You always make me feel better. I don't know why...but you do. :D Thank you. I love you! ö Thanks for all the times you cheered me up. I appreciate it. I wish you the best.

Andrew~ We've only met. But I'm glad we did. I love you Andrew. Thank you for being someone I can talk to about...everything, actually. For all the insights about life...thank you. X) You're a great friend and you don't deserve what they* are doing to you.;[ Pfht. Give them what they deserve. HAHA. Sorry. :D ~ Evil? Nah. ö

Nikkolet~ Hey :D HAHA. No, I didn't forget you. Thank you for always being there. Yes. You were. I didn't expect you to listen to me during the times when I was really down. Thank you for cheering me up with your jokes. No matter how corny they were...I really appreciated it. :) Thank you for the advices and for helping me see the brighter side of things. Thanks friend. I love you kolokoyboy. :D

Rach~ I barely know you. But thank you for always being there to listen. Even though you are, after all, a thousand miles away. ü Thank you for the friendship. I'm hoping to see you soon. :D I love you Rach!! *Froggy girl* Haha. ^____^

Ramirez~ Thank you for giving me advices about life. And for always making sure I'm okay. I'm sorry for all the times that we...didn't always see eye to eye. [Ahem.] Haha...but, nonetheless, I love you friend. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

**Long entry. Sorry. It's not finished, actually...there are still a lot of people I want to thank. Oh well. THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU.

February 7, 2004 10:06 am

I know I'm difficult to understand. HAH. That's why I love my *friends* who are still by my side. Thank you. You are my strength. My pillar. I may be weak--but you people are the ones who make me strong enough to hold on. I love you friends.

February 1, 2004 10:04 am

DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW LONG I’VE WAITED TO GET OVER HIM? JUST HOW LONG I’VE BEEN PATHETICALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM? God. I’ve always been your meantime girl. THIS ENDS RIGHT NOW. I’m over YOU. Yes. You got that right. You know what? I know no one else will love you the way I loved you. No one else would bother to stick around and be your fucking doormat. No one else would be as foolish as I was. I loved you well. You hurt me badly. Didn’t you know? I KNOW YOU KNEW. Damn. I cried every night because of you. HAHA. Pathetic. But not anymore. NOT ANYMORE. Goodbye. ;)

January 22, 2004 7:08 pm

December 24, 2003 6:14 pm

“How incredibly asinine of me to believe you. I’m sorry if I trusted you. I thought…you were—different. Oh well. That’s right. I only “thought” you were. Everything I ever saw in you…wasn’t real. I try to obliterate the memories of you entrapped in my mind—but, you are all that I see.

How can this be love? When...all I have seen were mere illusions? Fragments of images that I dare not conquer. I do not know. How am I supposed to? I do not know everything. Perhaps, I am delusional. Maybe everything just IS a figment of my imagination. Maybe. But why keep on asking me if I really do love him? Stop telling me that I don’t. I AM THE ONE FEELING THIS EMOTION.

How do I know it's love?

I FEEL."

~Written in the back of my notebook last summer.

December 24, 2003 11:41 am

I am...depressed. Miserable. Poignant. Lonely--Sad. Sorry. Sometimes, it gets tiring to be hyper...and there comes a point when it's just impossible to smile. Oh well. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

December 18, 2003 6:41 am

Ugh. I can't believe I'm already awake at this hour. I need to sleep. Sigh. Oh well. Fun fun fun...EK, here we come. :D *Thank you for everyone who gave me gifts...I wasn't expecting any. HAHA. Oh well. :) I love you guys. :D Merry Christmas. Especially to you, Zinky. Belated happy birthday. And God bless. **Yes, I was wrong at some point, Kathleen. I'm sorry for everything. Thank you for all the memories. Even the bitter ones, but then, we wouldn't have grown without the pain, right? As Roxanne said, "Thank you for being a part of my life." Merry, merry Christmas and have a happy, happy new year. ü

December 12, 2003 7:08 pm

Love and Madness

~Anonymous

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, and vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do. One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: "Let's play hide and seek!"

All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!" And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed.

Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: "One, two, three..." As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding.
Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon...
Treason hid in a pile of garbage...
Fondness curled up between the clouds...and
Passion went to the centre of the earth....
Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake... whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking. And Madness continued to count: .... "seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden - except Love. For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love. Madness: "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..."

Just when Madness got to one hundred.........Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid.

And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the centre of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all--except Love.

Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: "You only need to find Love and Love is hiding in the rose bush."

Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rosebush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes.

Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork. "What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?"

And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide."

And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.

December 7, 2003 10:28 pm

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN TEN DAYS: "You can't lose something you never had..."

December 7, 2003 1:41 pm

There are some things that are better left unsaid. Change is inevitable. Everything changes. I changed. You changed, as well. What do I do now...? Do I hold on? Or do I let you go...?

December 7, 2003 10:56 am

Strange. How...close to you I feel. But in reality--we are miles apart. I reach out to you...and you avoid me. You touched my soul...my heart...my entire being. But I can only take so much. I have already given everything I could possibly give. There is no more left of me. NO MORE left of ME.

December 6, 2003 9:02 pm

FRIENDS[?] You people say that I'm your friend...then...why? Why do I feel so alone? If you people care for me...then why the hell do I feel this way? Why can't you see how much I am hurting? Beneath this smile? Why? Can't you see I am begging for you to ask me...if I'm okay. I'm begging you to listen to me.......how many times have I listened to you? How many times?

December 6, 2003

...I have so many things to say to you.......but I am at loss for words.Do you think that by saying you're sorry...that would make EVERYTHING...okay?-----It won't. It won't take away the pain. Frankly, because it's still there.I still am hurting.I am sorry.For everything. "Did you think my heart was unbreakable?"

I have nothing more to give... i am empty. i would rather hate than love- either way i lose. love is a paradox, it pains you because you love and hate burries a hole in your soul, because you try to escape the reality. hate wouldnt have been there without love... i choose innocence- the innocence i can no longer have. --RAIN *I know EXACTLY how you feel.*