Ups And Downs - Written by Paul Rugg



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	UPS & DOWNS
	Written By: Paul Rugg

	Flashcard: 9:28 AM
	(Fade in shot of the WB building, Scratchy pushes the button to call the elevator.)
Wakko:	(Tugging on his ears) Candy, candy. Candy, candy, candy! How come Mr. Plotz wants to see me?
Scratchy:	You ate his conference table, Wakko.
Wakko:	I was hungry!
	(Inside the elevator: ) Scratchy brushes a piece of lint off his shoulder, Wakko copies him. Scratchy folds his arms, Wakko follows suit. Scratchy looks up, and again Wakko copies him.
Scratchy:	Ahem.
Wakko:	Ahem!
	Scratchy sniffs, and Wakko copies him.
Scratchy:	(Now more than a little suspicious that Wakko is copying him, pulls back his sleeve to look at his watch, and announces: ) Oh, my, my, my, my.
Wakko:	(Pulls back his sleeve, looks at his wrist, as he isn't wearing a watch (!), and declares: ) Oh, my, my, my, my.
Scratchy:	Stop doing everything I doos!
	(The elevator grinds to a halt)
Scratchy (Cont.):	Vhat happened?
Wakko:	(Helpfully) We stopped.
Scratchy:	Oh no... I think we are stucks. (Gasps) But, our meeting with Mr. Plotz!
Wakko:	I bet it's just for a second.
Scratchy:	Ya, ya... you probably right, huh. We wait.
	(Long pause. Both of them just stare at the elevator doors waiting for something to happen.)
Wakko:	("Colin"-esque) Okay, see... Okay, one time, Randy Beaman's grand-parents got stuck in an elevator... and they were in there so long, they became skeleton people. (Smiles)
Scratchy:	(Gulp) Okay... time to move, Mr. Elevator. Let's go, come on.
Wakko:	Maybe we should call for help...
Scratchy:	Ya, good idea. (Calls out) Help! Help! HEEELP! (Wakko taps him on the shoulder) Vhat?
Wakko:	I meant on the intercom... (points to it)
Scratchy:	I knew that... Let's see now... (Pushes the button, to talk through the intercom) ahem... hello? I'm in an elevator not going anywhere. Is... is someone there? Hello? Anyone?
Goyt:	(From the intercom) Warner Brothers Maintenance Depart - hold on a sec... Hit it with a hammer, Big Ed! No, the hammer... That's a wrench, that long thingy's a hammer... (To Scratchy) Sorry about that. This is Goyt Firman. What can I do ya' for?
Scratchy:	Ya, hello. We are stuck in an elevator and we are late for an appointment with Mr. Plotz.
Goyt:	Ooh... that's bad... Okay, you sit tight and we'll get ya' out in a minute.
Scratchy:	(Sigh) Now, let's just sit quiety and wait for zem to come, ya?
	(Wakko backs up and sits down against the wall. Scratchy looks drained. Camera pans across to Wakko, who's watching Scratchy, bemused. Wakko waves, and Scratchy gives a polite, but half-hearted smile back.)
Wakko:	(Sighs and sinks his face into his hands. Suddenly, he brightens up and grins at Scratchy) Wanna sing songs?
Scratchy:	No! No songs. Absolutely no songs!
	Flashcard: 11:57 PM
	(Wakko and Scratchy are singing and dancing in the elevator. Scratchy looks less enthusiastic than Wakko, who's dancing around like the adorable lunatic that he is. :))
Wakko &	Old MacDonald had a farm. E.I.E.I.O!
Scratchy:	With a quack, quack here;
	And a quack, quack there.
	Here a quack, there a quack,
	Everywhere a quack, quack.
	Old MacDonald had a farm. E.I.E.I.O!
	Flashcard: 2:34 PM
	(Same as previous scene, but Scratchy looks even less enthusiastic, and has actually slowed down a little.
Wakko &	Camp town racers sing this song. Doo dah, doo dah.
Scratchy:	Camp town race is five miles long. Oh, the doo dah day.
	Flashcard: 7:43 PM
	(Scratchy is sat on the floor, with his head against the wall. Wakko is doing a sweet little dance to go with his singing.)
Wakko:	Chopsticks and chopsticks and chopsticks and chopsticks and chopsticks and chopsticks and chopsticks. Chop Chop! (Wakko jumps in time with 'Chop Chop' and it wakes Scratchy, who isn't looking too pleased) Chopsticks and chopsticks and chopsticks and chopsticks and chopsticks and chopsticks and chopsticks. Chop Chop!
Scratchy:	Enough with the Chopsticks! No more Chopsticks! (Inhales, trying to calm himself down) Please, Wakko, I beg you: Just. Sit. Down.
Wakko:	Okay! (Falls onto the floor with his legs crossed)
Scratchy:	(Into the intercom) Hello? ANYONE!
Goyt:	Ed, drop the saw and get the hammer. That's a plunger! (To Scratchy:) Ahem. Warner Brothers Maintenance.
Scratchy:	Ya, hello? We are still in here.
Goyt:	Yes sir, we're workin' on it. Hold on.
	(Scratchy sighs and sinks to the floor again.)
Wakko:	(Walks up to him and tries to help) Hey, you wanna hear a joke?
Scratchy:	No. I don't like zee jokes, Wakko.
Wakko:	Not even a knock-knock joke?
Scratchy:	No!
Wakko:	(Slinks to the floor, rests his chin in his hands and looks a little rejected... then after a pause, he slyly looks over to Scratchy) It's reeeeally funny...
Scratchy:	Oh, all right, fine. One joke.
Wakko:	(Excited) Knock knock!
Scratchy:	(Unenthused) Who's dere?
Wakko:	Max.
Scratchy:	Max who?
Wakko:	Max wants to come in and go crazy!
	(Longish pause while Wakko looks at Scratchy expectantly, and Scratchy blankly looks back)
Scratchy:	Well, okay, now... that's not really a joke, is it? You see, because it makes no sense.
Wakko:	It does if you know Max.
Scratchy:	But I don't KNOW Max!
Wakko:	If you did, you'd be laaaaughing! (Slaps his thigh)
Scratchy:	Gkk! Grr... (Goes to the intercom) Get me out of here!
Goyt:	You still in there? It was our indication that you got out.
Scratchy:	(Trying to remain calm) Oh, really. Vhat... gave you that indication?
Goyt:	That's... just an indication we had...
Scratchy:	Now you listen to me, you little corporate lacky. I have been stuck in an elevator for ten hours, with a little boy... (Wakko looks proud) telling me jokes... and I am nauseous as well. Now, DO SOMETHING!
Goyt:	Okay, first thing: don't panic. Second thing: don't throw up. Come on Ed, bring the hammer. (Wakko and Scratchy look hopeful)... That's my leg! (Wakko and Scratchy's faces drop)
Scratchy:	Vee are doomed... Wakko! You have got to get us out of here! Do something silly and weird... One of your big... silly... weird things!
Wakko:	Huh?
Scratchy:	You know! Something big and silly from your gaggy bag!
Wakko:	I didn't bring it...
Scratchy:	But you always have your gaggy bag! Where is it?! (Shakes Wakko) Give me your gaggy bag!
	(There is a banging sound, and the elevator shakes)
Scratchy:	(Drops Wakko and runs to the intercom) Hello?!! There's a banging in here...
Goyt:	That's Big Ed jumpin' up and down on the elevator.
Big Ed:	I think it's stuck!
Goyt:	Yeah, tell ya' what... we're gonna raise the elevator up to the eighteenth floor and drop it REAL quick.
Scratchy:	(Concerned) Is dat safe?
Goyt:	Dunno, never tried it... Ed likes the idea though. Dontcha Big Ed?!
Big Ed:	Eeee, howdy!
Goyt:	Hold on in there, and... don't throw up.
	(The elevator starts accelerating)
Wakko:	Weeeee!
Scratchy:	Argh!
	(Wakko and Scratchy get thrown against the ceiling because of the force)
Wakko:	Faster! Faster!
Scratchy:	No... nooooooo! (The elevator stops abruptedly and they get thrown to the floor) Argh!
Wakko:	I wanna do that again!
Goyt:	Hey, in the elevator? We're gonna go up and down a coupla times, super quick. Go Ed!
	(Wakko and Scratchy are thrown up and down in the elevator 6 times. On the last time, Scratchy crashes face-down onto the floor, while Wakko bounces happily back to earth.)
Goyt:	Hey, in the elevator? Ed wants to jump up and down on it again. Go Ed!
	(Wakko and Scratchy get thrown up and down another 3 times. Poor Scratchy lands in a crumpled heap on the floor... but Wakko seems happy enough, panting with a smile on his face.
Goyt:	Hey, in the elevator? Guess what? Big Ed's good got it unstuck. We're gonna lower ya' gently to the first floor... Go Ed!
	(The elevator takes off at high-speed, and Wakko and Scratchy find themselves once again, being thrown to the ceiling, and then crashing to the floor. Scratchy lands on his back, and looks utterly drained, while Wakko lands on his feet, and walks over to Dr. Scratchansniff)
Wakko:	Wasn't that neat?!!
Scratchy:	(Pained) I want to go home...
Goyt:	(Again from the intercom) Hey, in the elevator? The doors are stuck, so we're gonna hafta use the jaws-of-life...
	(Scratchy picks himself up, and Wakko excitedly looks towards the doors. The doors are prised open, and Goyt joins them in the elevator.)
Goyt:	You must be the people stuck in the elevator... (Big Ed jogs in, and knocks the jaws-of-life with his foot, snapping the doors shut again. Thus trapping all four of them in the elevator) Uh-oh... That wasn't very smart of us, was it? Well, looks like we're stuck till the next shift.
	(Scene begins to pan out, passing backwards through the pictures of the Warner Brothers Building)
Scratchy:	Ulp!
Goyt:	Say, you guys wanna hear a joke? Knock knock...
Wakko:	(Excited) Who's there?
Goyt:	Max.
Scratchy:	Help! Heeelp! Get me out of here! Heeeeeeeellllpp!
	(Fade out)

	The End

Credits:
Scratchy:	Rob Paulsen
Big Ed:	Rob Paulsen (? - I think!)
Wakko:	Jess Harnell
Goyt:	Paul Rugg

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