A geek's tribute to Lord of the Rings sung to Lord of the Dance

Well I once was an unadventurous Shireling

Until my uncle Bilbo left me a magic ring

I must go to Mt. Doom

Avoiding the eye of Sauron

To destroy the ring

And free Middle Earth

Wraiths! Sam!  Don't you see 'em? 

We should flee!

I am the Lord of the Rings you see

And I bid you all, wherever you may be

The fellowship is broken please don't follow me

December 26th

It's time to feast upon the leftovers.

We're in that strange lull where everything shouts out that it's still Christmas, yet we are pushing onward to that brisk whiteness of renewal that is January.

What will you do until that special moment arrives when you must return to your normal schedules?

Watch movies, of course!

And if you are anyone with working eyes and ears...or maybe half-working senses...or even just a half-wit...you should be standing in line for the last Lord of the Rings installment.

Has there ever been a better trilogy in the past 25 years?

I don't know how many movies have come out where the first is a classic in the scale of the Odyssey and the next two are like tacking on a Scientology pamphlet.  Back to the Future and the Matrix are two of the biggest casualties I can think of.  There is something inherently deadly about filming movies back to back that usually turns them into stink bombs.

However, this on the other hand...why do I bother writing anything?  What am I going to say that hasn't already been paraded highly around by conventional wisdom?   Better question, why are you still sitting here?  I'm sure even if you have one friend that this person is interested in seeing this movie and it's your job to make them happy and fulfilled and take them.  If not, they are a liar.  You must make them realize that inner person that wants to see epics.  Beat the film snob out of them that quibbles about plot and extended battle scenes.  Make them remember the glory days of our youths when we read Dr. Seuss books without a care to the plot or character development, and let that inner child inform the more intelligent part of your brain that life is too short to worry about fertilizer for your brain.

What this movie does is embody the best of why anyone should go to a movie.  And that reason is simple: to show us something we will not see on the streets.  It's a fireworks display of light and darkness and from beginning to end, there is no argument in your mind that this world actually exists.  It's a world similar to our own that bends to its own rules so you can relate and be blown away at the same time

You can't even see it on TV.  It would star Valerie Bertinelli and Jonathan Taylor Thomas and would be laden with wholesomeness and preachiness and you would be completely afraid for your life and want to turn the channel as soon as possible.  It's a giant picture and it deserves the time involved in going to a theater and seeing it.