I am Amanda and I pull my hair. I have trichotillomania (trick-o-till-o-mania).
Besides being a fun word to say, trichotillomania (trich or ttm for short) is a neurobiological disorder that manifests itself in the uncontrollable urge to pull one's hair out.
No, it does not hurt. Doctors do not know what causes it or how to cure it.
People pull from where ever hair grows. I pull predominantly from my scalp, although I started with eyebrows and eyelashes.
I have had trich since I was 11. I am now 19. Having this disorder has affected my life in many ways.
When I'm pulling, trich is at the top of my thoughts. When I'm not pulling, trich stays in the back of my mind, just waiting for an opportune moment when it can jump into the spotlight again.
I hate how much of my time and energy this disorder has stolen from me. It can affect me in the most subtle ways.
For instance, even when I have a full head of hair, I flinch when someone unexpectedly touches my head. Often I feel that I am a puppet and trich controls me.
One outlet for my frustration has been my poetry.
I am currently a student at Vassar College. I am planning to major in psychology.
I want to be a child and adolescent psychologist. I also plan to take a correlate sequence in either Italian or Latin.
I am a listening counselor for CARES, a student-run listening service for anyone affected by abuse. I trained for a semester for this group.
It was incredibly intensive. I am also involved with the Gay-Straight Alliance. I was contact for them last semester.
And this fall I coordinated, hosted and facilitated a game show introducing the freshmen to the queer community at Vassar. It was called "Gays of Our Lives."
I also like photography. I especially like (and love) my friends here at Vassar.
I would like to discuss the photo above. I think I look great in this photo.
However it was taken in a photo shoot with fancy lighitng after I spent hours in make-up. The photo shoot was for a story I did in Guideposts for Teens about my trich.
I was even on the cover! What I mean to say is besides being taken nearly a year ago, I do not look this flawless all the time. I am a human being.
To contact me and learn more about the imperfect me you can both browse the rest of the site and email me.
Before I continue I should post the contact information for the Trichotillomania Learning Center (TLC). The only orginization devoted to hair-pullers, devoted doctors and friends and family.
I owe so much to them. The host retreats, conferences, publish a newsletter and have a wealth of information.
TLC's website
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Wait a second! This website is two years old! What the heck has been happening with me? Click here for an update
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New advanced fall 2003 update fresh for your viewing! Right here
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To read the literature review I wrote on the use of pharmaceuticals in the treatment of trichotillomania
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To read the research I have proposed on cognitive-behavioral therapy
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