Umm.. i fully started to run out of idea's for things on my homepage then i decided i'd make this bit..
it's called Crappin On and it's basically about nothing.. it's just me talking about stuff..
and basically just crapping on.. enjoy!

Friday 16/6/00
I never wanna act the age.. what's the age again?
Hahaha James (a.k.a Jimmy) foxal and me went over tezza's today to build up his fire for the special NDA of tomorrow night..yea anyways... we were over there and its time to leave and jimmy realises he's locked his keys in his car hehehe and he starts going off at tezza coz tezza always says "just leave your keys in there man... " so he did... but he kinda locked the door heheh so then tezza (being the car stealing bandit that he is) whips out the wireand screwdriver etc so he can break into jimmy's car with the old hook down the window thingy that u see in the movies.. and so we stand around for about an hour.. discovering we have no fucking idea what we're doing and that tez has only one reeeaaalllyy fucked up torch hehehe.. and eventually tez unlocks it! and we kissed him and made his cheeks rosey red.... while tez was doing his stuff me and jimmy were sayin we should make a movie outta this called "Gone in 60 minutes" hahaha it took us so damn long :(

That is all...
Oh.. apart from this.. hehe
I got this e-mail in my uuhh... e-mail from Donna and it was like some survey thingy for some homepage and u fill it out and they put it on their homepage with all these stats about ya... i started doing it proper and thought nah fuck this.. and told them where to shove their survey hehehe anyways.. this is the responce i got from some hardcore person "tyler jensen":

hello this is one of the guys that you told to shove there survey up are asses... i didn't appreciate some of your responses, i feel that if you want to be an ass then you should keep it to yourself. i mean just because your a massive loser and have no life at all and you probably have no friends and your into "keepin it in the family".

so ya i just thought i would let your ugly ass know that we have your survey and we will feel free to fill it in however we choose to....

STOP YOUR UNDER ARREST FOR BEING ONE OF THE UGLIEST MOTHERFUCKERS IN THE WORLD.....HOW DO I KNOW ???  BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MOM !!!!!
 

have a nice day
biotch

Hahahahaha all i could do was laugh... LOL :)

I wouldnt mind looking like my mum.. she's a very beautiful lady hehe :)

now thats all..
 
 

Sunday 11/6/00
The following things suck:

Paper cuts
Brussle Sprouts
Hypocrisy
Tight Jeans
Running out of toilet paper
Crowds
Barry White
Smoking
Sex in the City
Milli Vanilli
Guilt
Paranoia
Toothaches
Bowel Infections
Almost sneezing
Refolding a map
Leaving your headlights on
Melrose Place
Smartasses
Celine Dion
When someone steals your idea
SomethinK
Fat guys in speedo's
Cheaters
People who lie
People who steal
Accidently setting your alarm for p.m
When dogs sniff your ass
When u have to explain a joke.. again
Junkmail
Pigeons
The Macarena
Rumors
Joey Lawrence
Cold toilet seats
Warm toilet seats *eww*
Cold feet
Would you like fries with that?
Dennis Rodman
New Kids On The Block
Puff Daddy
N-Sync
Backstreet Boys
5ive
Any country music
Toll Booths
Dyke Parties
Sluts
Bitchy Chicks
Sunburn
Fingernails on a chalk-board
When you hit your funny bone
Free Willy
Blinking Text
When people leave you voicemail saying ".......   "
Forgetting where u parked your car
People with homepages that just whinge about shit
Ants
Hiccups
"Psycho ex girlfriends" - by Phil Scroggs
Broken Shoelaces
When the bottom of your foot is itchy
Potheads
Drugs
Insomnia
Pens with no ink
The artist formally known as..
Forgetting things
Asparagus
Long Lists

I think you get the idea..
 
 

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Thursday 8/6/00
Well its Crappin On time.. and its a been a while..Nothin much has been happening in the life of Higgins as of late.. One might ask for more details, so therefore i am going to give you more details.. well the good news is i've finished lectures and assignments for this semester *hoorah!*
So now all i gotter do is study for exams.. and i've got a shitload to do aswell... unfortunately u dont think jimmy understands this.. he's ALWAYS buggin me to come over and do stuff on my computer.. and i'm like "why can't you do it on your computer?" and he's like "naaahh.." and i'm like "oi just fuck off man" hehe its pretty funny.. but also quite frustrating.. james.. why must you frustrate thee??

Also i've been jammin with Tez and Bonc and makin up some tunes.. bonc's learnin pretty fast on ye-olde bass which i'm trying to teach him.. (quite dodgily i might add) and yea.. but he's doing good...... and once exams are over we shall write our first album :)

What else sux? umm.. the origin.. that pretty much sucked.. ummmmm.... kinda gettin sick of Mega-Macs.. so they pretty much suck too..

After this friday i'm takin two weeks of from sizzler.. so if you see me around the place.. i'll be the guy sporting a new Goatie.. yes thats right.. i *can* grow my own facial hair unlike some people i know who simply cut their pubic hair and paste it on.. you know who you are..

Its pretty funny how Dave (aka Macka, aka Deisel, aka Furious Red) got a job at that electric place... so know he's "High Voltage Dave" so whenever u see him, call him that.. okie dokie? good..

i think i'll go to bed as this post is decreasing the ever-poor standard of this page
 
 

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Tuesday 30/5/00
I guess i forgot that jimmy is even lazier than me, so therefore he hasnt produced a "Crappin' On" yet.. not to worry.. i guess i'll just have to keep on Crappin until he gets his act into gear.. hopefully, coz this is my last week of uni, this will once again be more frequently updated.. i really wish funny stuff happened to me.. but it's just not happenin at the moment..
So me and jimmy went for this drive tonight and we kinda got lost hehe.. it pretty much sucked.. but then we just went "south" and we made it home safe and sound.. remember jimmy for when you're driving by yourself: RED means STOP.

Hahaha Chris plays guitar by straightening his arms out at and angle of around 20degrees to his torso and moving all four finger on both hands towards his palm at a rapid rate. Hahaha nice air guitar Chris...

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Friday 26/5/00
Do you ever get the feeling you're all alone? well the truth is you aren't.. there's always someone that can help you get through whatever it is that you're going through, so don't be affraid to ask for someones help.
If you can't tell i'm feeling kinda emotional at the moment.. i've been listening to Adam's Song by Blink 182.. this is one of the best songs i've ever heard.. and no.. not just because its blink 182 and they're popular.. but because i feel like i can relate to it alot.. it makes me have all these wierd feelings inside.. i dont know if anyone else can relate to it.. but i can.. i can't explain the feeling it gives me.. but it makes me think alot.. even more than normal.. if you haven't heard it or don't know the lyrics i have them here on my Lyrics page.

So the origin was pretty good fun but the game kinda sucked in the last 20 or so minutes.. hehe the guy next to me got an earful when queensland scored though hehe damn nerdy-looking NSW supporter guy.. haha he was wearing glasses..

Bonca got his bass and he rocks the bass world with his smoke on the water and israel's son hehehe onya danny... you're about 92.5% punk now man!!

The offer is still open jimmy.. u can do it man.. its pretty easy.. just write some shit here and people talk to ya about it.. sometimes they laugh.. most of the time they do not. I wonder if people even read this anymore.. maybe i should like get a forum so people can leave me a message saying they come here... but then again.. most people would probably be too lazy to do that... yea.. that's a stoopid idea..

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Monday 22/5/00
Yea i had to refrain from posting stuff here because i woulda just written angry stuff hehe i thought i better write something though. just so people know i'm not dead..

Hey jimmy u wanna take over crappin on for a couple of weeks man?

That is all i have to say about that.

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Friday 12/5/00

I had this big bitch session here... but i deleted it.. coz u dont really wanna read that.. do ya? ;)

So yea i was at work the other nite and this Josh (Rottenberry) guy was talking about WRX's and he said they were "clit cars" and i'm like "why do you call em clit cars?" and he goes "coz every cunt's got one" hahahahaha i laughed ssssooo damn hard at that.. for at least 3 and a half seconds.

Only 4 weeks of lectures left!!!! yyeaaa!!! woohoo!!! Cheer!! haha that'd be funny as if something really kewl happened and people just yelled "cheer!" like really loud.. hahhaah

So how fucked was the Origin?!!!! Stoopid Ref.. i bet Tallis is thinking "Yea.. i'm the man" hehehe he sure did give it to Harrigan.. but i do hope he ref's game 2... he is the best in comp (which is really pathetic) but.. not just coz of that.. but because i wanna yell at the cunt hehehe
When Tallis was asked on MMM yesterday mornin "If Harrigan is listening to this right now, what would you say to him?" and his reply.. "See you at game 2"  ahaha yeeaa!!!  :P

Quote of the Day:
"If you've stayed up all night, fix yourself up before you come out... some mouthwash, a hat.. something.." - Jerry

Hehehe its funny coz he doesnt give a shit about her cartoon.. hahahaha.. he just says that :)

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This is my last crapping on for about 2 weeks or so, until i feel better about myself and everything in this world and until i am happy that i can continue posting messages that will make people happy and not the shit i've been writting lately. Unless of course i get enough support from you guys to continue writting and posting here.. it makes me happier when i get positive feedback.. then when i'm feelin happy i can make a lame attempt at being funny and give people a laugh. I try to make everyone i know happy, if they're happy then i'm usually content with my life. I know i don't make everyone happy, and i know alot of people hate me, but that's their decision. Alot of people are so stubborn they wont even try to listen, but once again, it's their choice and i cant control that. I can't control what anyone can do, but i can be pissed off and anoyed by them doing it. And not at them specifically, but moreso at the world for them being able to have the chance to do that. You might think that i'm just a fuckwit that wants everthing to go my way, and think that if you want, it's your decision. But i don't beleive i am, i'm not trying to lead or follow or tell people what to do or even expect people do take my suggestions and even keep them in mind as an option. I'm just saying what i ultimately beleive is right and is honest and is humainly and morally correct.

Well.. until i return... bye for now and keep on smilin :)

Quote of the Day:
"I'd rather be dead than cool" - Kurt Cobain, "Stay Away", Nirvana

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Tuesday 2/5/00
I'm starting to feel furious so i thought i'd try and right this before the anger kicks in hhehhe

So what's everyone been up to?? i'm just doing nothin but uni shite at the moment.. it kinda sucks..but yea..
So now i just work in hotside at sizzler... i think my dishroom days are over.. for the next few weeks at least anyways..
Umm.. i couldnt even be fucked uploading this to geocities heheh so i'll just wait till next time :)

Quote of the Day:
"You're hunting overexposure" - Grinners

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Sunday 30/4/00
And while i'm in the fucking bitching mood.. why the fuck is everyone asking me what's going on in my life donni and erica-wise?! its like no-ones fucking business but our own.. so stop asking questions and making assumptions and concentrate more on your own fucking lives ok??? then at least maybe you'll be able to get somewhere or something or even some of your own instead of asking weather i am or not.. so i've been nice to everyone who's asked me so far.. but the next person who fucking does is just gunna get a kick to the fucking head from me ok?? so just fuck off and stop being so fucking nosey!!!

On a lighter note..
I got 2/7 in the tipping this week haha fuck i suck.. damn Panthers.. stoopid Nights... next week i shall get 7/7 then i will be the victor...

Anyone know Alex Rosis? if so.. i think it's my duty to tell you that he fell over whilst working at sizzler the other night and fuck it was funny hahaha i laughed at him so hard i made my eye's bleed.. and thats a real difficult thing to do... try it some time... just make sure you have a tissue so people dont think you're crying blood or something.. This guy that works at sizzler, brad he has quite a few theories on monkey's and boat people and like illegal immagrants and stuff.. if you ever see him there be sure to ask him.. and i'm sure he'd be glad to sit down with you and go throught intricate details..

Quote of the Day:
"You think you have the right to put me down? Propaganda hides your scum, face to face you dont have a word to say, you got in my way, now you'll have to pay" - Propaganda

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Thursday 27/4/00
Fuck i hate hypocritical people!!! if you know anyone that's hypocritical or something then you'll know what i'm talking about..there's nothing that pisses me off more NOTHING!!! except maybe people who lie.. that just fucking gets me sssooo cut those fucking people know who they are aswell yet they continue to do it... so if that's you then FUCK OFF!!! DON'T EVER FUCKING TALK TO ME OR LOOK AT ME OR BE WITHIN EARSHOT OF ME COZ I DONT WANNA FUCKING HEAR IT!!!!!!!!!!

Quote of the Day:
"WHO ARE YOU TO CRITISIZE, TO JUDGE AND BURN THE TRIBES? THE WORLD WILL BE EXTINCT AND YOUR FLESH WILL ROT WITH MINE!!"
Nomad - Sepultura

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Tuesday 25/4/00
Not much to say.. just that i saw something yesterday that donni *might* be interested in.. i was a "Ripley's Beleive It Or Not" and there in the sharks and whales kinda section they have a 4-foot sperm whale penis.. like the actuial thing.. so if that gets stolen within the next couple of days i think we have a good idea that its at the Broomy residence.. and if donni didn't take it then i guess Broomy herself beat her to it :)

Quote of the Day:
"BBBRBRBRBRBRBRBBBGGGHGHHBBBBBRRREERBEBRBRBRBRRBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPRPRPRPRPRPPBRBRRPRRRRRRRRRR!!!" -- Jimmy

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Hahaha i was at mcdonalds on saturday and like it was real busy and i eventaully got some McFood and the chick that gave me the food was like pretty *fat* and she gave me the food and goes "Sorry about the weight" hahahahahahaha fuck i laughed to myself for at least 3 and a half minutes.. and then i just ate my food.

I was thinking of writing a song to the tune of "Nookie" about that hairy dude from star wars and call it "Wookie" like.. "Give it up for the Wookie!!" but then i thought it was kinda stoopid and so did donni so i decided to scrap the idea..

Quote of the Day:
"Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker" - Limp Bizkit, Break Stuff

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Saturday 22/4/00
I really hate to admit it.. but.. you know that new Hanson song.. "If Only"? ok.. i reckon its good.. okay!! i just thought i'd come out.. and let everyone know that I LIKE A HANSON SONG!! but.. dont get me wrong.. i mean.. i still rock.. it's not like i like "MmmBop" or "Where's the love" hahaha that'd just be sad..

So NDA was pretty kewl at jimmy's last night.. we had a few beers, a few laughs and holy fucking Tezzza and Bonc owned the court yesterday.. but yea it was pretty kewl.. cant wait till NDA2001...

My dad got this kewl program from the net called "Napster" its real cool if you want to get mp3's real easy coz u can do a search and get em! so yea.. check that one out..

Nothing else is really happening except easter.. fuck.. easter just isnt the same anymore.. maybe its because last year i thought the easter bunny was real.. but this year.. its just not the same.. and what's up with easter eggs anyway? They cost like 10 times more than a block of chocolate the same weight.. how come they're so fucking expensive? is it because they're in the shape of an egg? because.. i hear that's really hard to do hehe.. so yea.. howcome people buy chocolate at easter anyways? could it be too commercialized u think?? nnaaahh... of course not.. as if large companies would use religious holidays that are really speacial to some people to rip everyone off and suck every cent out of their bank accounts.. nah.. that wouldnt happen.. that's just fucking stupid..

Oh yea... Happy Easter :)

Quote of the Day:
"You'll never see me fall from grace" - koRn, Freak On A Leash

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Sunday 16/4/00
I haven't got much to say at all excpet what a fucking wierd party that was last night.. There's been no funny stuff happeneing in my at the moment... i'd just like to thank Danny though coz he's a legend and the best mate anyone could have.. so yea.. thanks man..

But apart from that i've got nothing to say ok? ok see ya bye ok? bye see ya ok bye bye..
 

Quote of the Day:
"Who cares what happens when you die. Life's to short to wonder why. Get on with YOUR LIFE!" - Pennywise - "Waste of Time"

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Wednesday 12/4/00
The only really big news today is that DANNY TRONC is the first winner of Higgins' Quiz.. u can read more about that on the Higgins' Quiz page..

Quote of the Day:
"I couldn't be fucked making a quote of the day" - Me!

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Tuesday 11/4/00
I was at pizza hut the other nite and noticed, at pizza hut, they have two main 'bars' a "Pizza and Pasta" bar and a "Salad and Dessert" bar.. so.. i saw the signs and i kinda got thinking.. where do they put the dessert pizza? Does it go on the Pizza Bar? because it's.. well.. Pizza.. OR do they put it on the Dessert bar.. because.. it's a desert.. and I also got thinking.. what about Pasta Salad? I mean.. would they put that on the Salad Bar, because.. it IS a salad.. or would they put it on the Pasta bar? because.. it's pasta.. i really thinking Pizza Hut need to have a good think and maybe re-name their bars before they start being all flamboyant with their Pizza, Pasta, Salad and Dessert.
I hurt myself the following ways today:
1) Walking into a bench thingy at work and forcing the brim of my hat to apply immense pressure into my skull.
2) Stubbing my toe on my desk in my room then hitting my head on it when i went to look at my toe.
3) Cutting a corner a little too short in the hallway and kinda walking into what i thought was a doorway, but, was infact wood.

Higgins' Quiz has been updated  :)

Quote of the Day:
"Goodbye Christoff" - Jimmy  <-- hehe everyone has gotta call Chris Foxall, "Christoff" now.. okay? OK!

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Friday 7/4/00
This 'person' has been on my back about not doing this.. so.. here it is, a new crappin on!!
Last things first, the results from the 2nd ICQ survey.. the question was:

If you had to do 'it' with an animal, which one would u choose?
a) Elephant
b) Dog
c) Rhino
d) Dolphin
e) All of the above

And here's the results:
"F/ None of the above :)
I wouldn't do it with an animal.... Males are animal enough *grin*"

"(f) - your mum   :) - whatdya expect ?"

"you have an animal-kink-sex-fetish you want us to live out? =p"

"all of the above"

"i didnt get the next survey :("

"F/ How does NO sound?'

"why did u even bother asking me that? ;P"

"A dolphin man"

Seems we have a few "comedian's" on our hands.. should i bother with another survey? seems like half the people don't even get the questions.. i reckon ICQ kinda sux ass.. hehe

Nextly, "Higgins' Quiz", no-one has come up with anything else since donni guessed.. i think Danny is still trying but everyone else has sorta given up.. here's another hint..

So we all know one of the bands is silverchair, well the song is of their latest album "Neon Ballroom".. and no.. u cant just guess aaalll the songs on there coz i'll just tell ya to piss off hehe.. also.. silverchair were the 2nd ones to release the song.. i.e. the other band released a song with same name first.. AANNDDD.. this is on an EP.. not an album from the 2nd band.. enough hints? i think so :)

So.. a summary of stuff u should know..
2 bands, 1 song title (one band is silverchair)
silverchair were the 2nd band to release the song of the same name as another aussie rock band, BUT it is a DIFFERENT song..
silverchair's song is on Neon Ballroom..
and.. yea..

Down do the business end of the deal.. nothing much been happening in my life the last week or so.. well.. that i wanna tell all you b'stards anyways.. umm.. i was at the hyperdome today and some chick asked me to eat some stuff for a survey.. she reckon's it'd take like 20 mins.. and i'm like.. "uuhhh... nah.. i gotta to work" hehe u think she realised i wasnt? eh.. who cares.. and i also saw the newest shop thingy goin up.. the cookie dude thingo shop... looks quite tasty already and there's no food there hehehe i'll prolly be hanging down there once it opens..

Umm... anyone heard "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit? i reckon its pretty fucking kewl.. coz its says 'fuck' heaps.. and if you're pissed off it's good to listen to.. coz u can sing along loud to the part that goes "GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE TONIGHT!!!!!"  hehe tis pretty kewl..

I think this was the day Kurt Cobain's body was found in 1994. Okay.. i think all of you know WHO Kurt Cobain is.. and on this day in 1994 his body was found in the greenhouse above the garage in his home in Seattle, Washington. He had one fatal gun shot wound to the head (thought to be inflicted on the 5th of April) and was assumed to be suicide, although some may still speculate we may never know the truth for sure. Here is a nice tribute to the great man who brought rock, pasion and an everlasting memory to the world.

Umm.. apart from that nothing much been happening.. just feeling sick and stuff like that.. oh! i got a chef's hat for work so that's pretty kewl coz i look real sexy in it hahaha so.. i just walk around the house naked just wearing that.... aaaannndd.. apart from that i think the only other thing interesting in my life this week is Blue's Clue's!! :D
 

Quote of the Day:
"There's no chicken in the sea" - Jerry Seinfeld  <-- hahahahahaha i'll never get over how funny it sound when he says it.

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Anyways.. yesterday i saw this japanses guy driving down this path that goes around the back of ANZ stadium.. haha it was pretty funny.. and i'm like "Nah man... u cant drive here aye.." ehehe

Quote of the Day:
"Although you promised, i feel betrayed, although you promised, I'VE BEEN BETRAAAYYYYEEDDD!!" - The Grinspoon Song :)

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Sunday 26/3/00
The new "Higgins' Quiz" was put out last nite aswell..
The question was: "Which two Australian rock bands have a song of the same name? and What is the song called?"
If you know the answer then tell me ok? The first perso to do so will get a free *something* from me!!

Quote of the Day:
"I wanna go on the yard-work simulator" - Bart, haha that's soo funny :)

Saturday 25/3/00
The results are in from my first ever ICQ survey.. and well the results are mixed..
The survey question was:
"Hands up.. who likes me?"
Out of the 27 people surveyed, 20 did not even bother replying.. i guess thats a sign of how many people like me haha
Out of the 7 people that did reply.. these were the responces they came up with..
"Are you trying to give yourself a headswell?"
"Yea I spose"
"Hahahaha you're a funny cunt"
"*PERSON puts her hand up*"  n.b person's name has been deleted :)
"*leaves hand down*"
"me.........."
"*raises hand* hehe"

So yea i'm pretty happy with the way that one went down.. next survey should be in your ICQ right now! so check it out :)

Quote of the Day:
"I've got nothing to say" - George

Tuesday 21/3/00
This might start to become a once a week sorta thing while i'm heaps busy with uni and shite.. i just cant find the time to be funny! hehe

So i'm driving near Garden City the other day and i'm on this roundabout and the big long bus pulls out infront of me as i'm go to turn off at the next exit from the roundabout.. it was one of those long double bus thingy's with the join in the middle.. and yea.. the cunt stops like over the exit sorta thing.. and i'm like to the right of him right infornt of the driver.. so i lock up the fucking breaks and sit on my horn for like 4 and a half days and i just shake my head and say "You fucking wanker" to myself.. but i said it so he could read my lips real good hahaha he was just staring it me aye... and after i said that and stopped honking my horn he kept going again.. and the bus was full of like high school kids from McGreggor or something hahaha yea.. and then all these chicks were waving to me.. hehehe the bus driver guy looked fully scared aswell.. hahaha it was so awesome.. i love getting cut off just so i can let people know hoe much they fucking suck at driving :)

Today my friend Vaughan was telling us about how he delivered a pizza at some party on saturday night and it was a party of 16 year olds and when he was getting back in his car they were like.. (pissed of course) "mmaaatte... yooou're ccar... iss sssoooo fuccckkingg ssshhiitt" ahahahahahahahhahaha it was so funny the way they said it.. i cant just imagine the cunts hahahahahhaa.. oh yea.. Vaughan drives some 80's or 70's something model Mazda of some description..it's red.. and the other day we were driving to get some lunch and could hear the trye making a wierd noise.. when we got out we had a look and all the nuts were loose and the tyre nearly falling off....hahaha it wasnt very funny :)

I was replaying this chat that i saved in ICQ that jimmy was in.. (plus other people) and we said something like..

Jimmy: Yea.. whatever Higgins
Higgins: yes.. Whatever
Jimmy: hahahahaha
Higgins: hehehe :)

LOL i thought it was pretty funny amoungst other things.. i'm glad i can make myself laugh.. just reminds me that i'm so lame...hahahahaha i have a homepage... but wait.. some people think it's 'kewl' especially 'donni' hehehe so i guess if i can please at least one person then it makes it all worth while :)

Quote of the Day:
Vaughan: "Do u's wanna do some window shopping?"
Dave: "Nah.. i dont need any windows"

hahahahaha fuck it was sssooo funny at the time.. the timing and execution were perfect haaha

Tuesday 14/3/00
So i'm at work the other nite washing some stuff and this girl walks past me that also was working and she slips over.. hahaha it was so funny... not because she slipped over but because it was silent.. haha like there wasn't a sound to be heard.. it just like.. .. .......... ... hahaha and then she started laughing.. and me and this other guy were like.. WTF?! haha then we started laughing our arses off after we realized it was silent.. so yea that was pretty funny..

How funny are orthopedic surgeons? hahaha imagine being an orthopedic surgeon and telling people what u do for a job.. its like "uhh.. yea.. i'm like an orthopedic surgeon or something.." i reckon all doctors names are funny.. like umm.. proctologists and umm... things like geologists and botanists.. haha yea

This is a fucking funny thing that happened in my lecture.. it was Maths and the dude was saying something and he went to say "assumption" but instead he said "a-something" hahaha he fully didn't mean to.. and he looked around for a second and said.. "assumption" like nothing had happened.. no-one else really cared but hahahhahahahah fuck i laughed so hard i think i laughed my own toes through my mouth.. but.. then they fell near my feet so they were back to the same place again..

Quote of the Day:
Just because it was so funny....
"Just do fff ff ff ffff.. something" - Intelligent James

hahahahahahahaha

Friday - 10/3/00
How cool is finding money? like your just walking around some place..say.. a casino and u see $10 or a $25 chip and your just going "OH YEAAH!" or you're there cashing in your chips and the fat guy in front of you has $10,000 in chips to cash in so he slides u a spare $25 coz he likes the look of ya.. ahah he just gives it away.. now that my friend is swwweeett as!

Quote of the Day:
"Just do fff ff ff ffff.. something" - Intelligent James

Wednesday - 8/3/00
Hahaha fuck Jerry Seinfeld is a funny bastard.. i mean seriously that guy is a dead-set genious.. his show is the best in television history.. he's totally the man.. his show is awesome and he just goes.. "eh" and throws it all away.. and for what? a world stand-up tour? what is he doing now anyways? probably nothing..

Quote of the Day:
Jerry: "You faked.. with me?"
Elaine: "Ah huh"
......
Jerry: "When?"
Elaine: "Umm... all the time.."
Jerry: "AALLL THHE TIIMME!?!"
Hahaha its fucking funny how he says all the time..

Sunday - 5/3/00
What kinda car do u reckon a locksmith would drive? like.. what if a locksmith locked his keys in his car? how fucking ironic would that be?! hahaha i reckon locksmiths drive big locks with wheels.. like a big arse pad-lock with a big key hole and they just drive around and sit on top the lock.

What's up with 16 month calanders?! why do we need an extra 4 months? i mean.. who are the calendar people making these calendars for? think about it.. u buy a 16 month calendar so next year u don't have to buy one straight away, right? so u've got a couple of months up your sleeve.. then when u eventually get around to buying one of the things, 6 of the 16 months have already gone anyway... i think it's a extremely large waste or resources!! are they going to start bringing out 8 month calendars just to make up for the 16 month ones? yea i think that's what i'll do actually... quit uni and make an 8 month calendar business to make up for all the 16 month calendar sellers out there.. then they'll see who's "smart"

Quote of the Day:
"Something like yabadabadoo or something from Fred Flinstone? any good?" - Intelligent James

Sunday - 27/2/00
So i bet you're thinking.. "i wonder what Higgins and Jimmy got up to this weekend".. well here's a song...

We were sitting there at home one day with a mate of ours called Kevin, we had the TV on at it was tunned to channel 7, suddenly Kev tells us "it's time for The Main Event", we watched it for 10 minutes then we turned to Kevin and said.. What's all that about?
So we went down the shops to get a couple of "Choc Wedges", we saw one of those posters up by "Benson & Hedges", it was one with a lightbulb talking to a peice of bread, we looked at it for half an hour then we simply said..
What's all that about?
We decided to take a quiet drive out through the country side, after a while we found ourselves looking quite mistified, tourists were all queing up to see a giant worm, after seeing that we just had to use the term..
What's all that about?!
We went to a talk by that guy John Hewson, after 15 minutes we could feel our bowels loosen, he talked about his fightback package and his GST, i think there's only once response as far as we can see..
What's all that about?!!
We went to see a movie to pass the time away, it was one of those arty ones by Peter Greenaway, it was all about a Zebra and a bunch of naked men.. after seven hours i heard.. "arrhemm" and then..
What's all that about?!!?!?
After that we went to see a concert by "The Cure", sadly 15 minutes was all that we could endure, the lead singer looked quite depressed he looked like he was dead, half way through the second song we turned around and said..
What's all that ABOUT?!!?!
Then we went walking through a quiet city mall, we came across something that never fails to appaul, students doing street-theatre, god knows what it all meant, i think u can imagine how the crowds reaction went..
What's ALL THAT ABOUT?!
We've got this friend called barry who is dimonically possesed, so we got some holy water and we tried to have him blessed, the preist came in, Barry spewed and then he spun his head, he preist looked at us and then very softly said..
What's ALL that ABOUT!?!?
And although the song could go another 60 verses i think i must no before it's impact all disperses, 'cos alot of you people are sitting at home, sending me e-mail and asking down the phone...
WHAT'S ALL THAT ABOUT?!?!!!

Quote of the Day:
"I've got nothing to say" - George

Wednesday - 23/2/00
On monday i went sailing on my brother's boat.. and well it was the worst day sailing in like the history of narcotics.. or.. naucotics.. or something.. but this is what happened:

We get to Victoria point at about 10:30 set up the coat and cast it off at around 11am.. high tide. We sail around for a while and it's pretty kewl, there's a few clouds in the sky but nothing much to worry about. After sailing for a round 45 minutes we see that one rope is in the wrong place and that it should be somewhere else, nothing critical but we decide we're gunna stop and move it, so we look for the closest beacg to stop at, at small island just next to straddy.. we stop at this beach and fix the rope, have some food and a bit of a rest and get out of the wind because it was freezing, down the beach a bit we see this speed boat and these two girls next to it, their boat is stuck on the beach and they ask me and Dave (on of bro's freinds) to go help them so we go up there and at this stage i'm thinking this is turning into a porno.. we get to the boat and try to push it but it won't budge! it's about 2 metres from the water and we think we're not gunne move it even with Steve (my bro) and his freind pushing it too..so Steve goes "i've got a mobile, you can call someone" and one of the chicks (amanda) says "ok" so Steve goes to get his mobile and finds that the bag that it was in had come open and the phone was full of water and therefore not working.. so the girls say to us "when you get back to the mainland can you call me dad?" she gave us the number and some money and we went to go back to the mainland.. at this time it was around 12:30.. we started off back to Victoria point and noticed that the clouds where getting darker and that it was now raining on straddy... we thought.. eh. we'll be right, so as we keep going the waves start getting bigger and the wind starts to increase, but it is pointing in the wrong direction so we can't go very fast.. so we press on and the waves start crashing over us.. and its starting to spit on us.. the boat is going slow as all shit and it's fucking freezing.. the mobile phone is rooted and at this time i'm thinkin "can i swim? yea i think so" and i'm pretty shit-scared.. we go for about another half hour in this and it's gettin worse.. suddenly this massive wave crashes over me and the whole front of the boat.. and i'm like half underwater and i just go "SSSHIITT!!" and boat starts tiltin down towards the front and it's like half underwater and i'm thinkin we're gunna tip over for sure! then being the quit-witted person that i am i jump up and dive to the back of the boat causing it to level out from about 45 degrees back down onto the water again.. by this time everyone is fuckign panicing and thinking i'm the man for saving everyone going for a bit of a swim in the shark and jelly-fish infested waters of Moreton Bay, We start back again and the swell starts to reduce and the waves get smaller ad we go closer to another island.. we finally push on for another hour or so and evertually get back to the boat ramp after ettempting to get to hit for about half an hour (the wind has gotta be right) so we get back to the ramp and i say to steve "Should i ring that chicks dad when i get home or do u wanna do it from here?" (coz i gotta go to work and cant stay to pack the boat up) and he said nah, u can go and i'll pack up with Dave and i'll call from a public phone over there somewhere.. so im at home nearly ready for work and steve comes home and runs inside and says "There were no public phones!" and i just go hrrmmm and this time it's like 5pm.. so steve calls and i head off to work at sizzler just to top off yet another shit day in the life of Higgins..

I hope you like my story.. yes it is true and Jimmy entitled it "Jurassic Boat" hahaha good call Jimmy :)

Quote of the Day:
"I tried hard to have a father, But instead i had a dad" - Serve the Servants, Kurt Cobain

Sunday - 20/2/00
So what's up with "free" dress day? i mean we have to pay money to wear other clothes so it's not exactly free now is it? You know what's wrong with the world today? Well i certainly do.. but i don't really wanna talk about it... last night i had a dream where i could fly and all i did was fly over my fence in the backyard and thought i was really cool. hahaha if i ever get the superpowers to fly i'm gunna be flying around the neighbourhood doing nothing much at all really.. and all these other people will be off flying to all these kewl places like the "hyperdome" hahaha how lame is that place?! i despise any 14 year old that "hangs out" there on a thursday nite.. i mean for fucks sake get a life! i mean there's plenty more stuff to do like sit on the internet all nite and whinge on you're homepage like a little pansy.. grow up people!!

Quote of the Day:
"A fragile bond, shaken loose. This secret love, a shrinking noose.
Suffocated on the truth, left with nothing" - Capoicity, Powderfinger

Saturday - 19/2/00
HaHAHA Jimmy told me this funny story the other day and i thought i'd share it with you all...
Jimmy: "oi man did i tell you about the bus driver cunt?"
Higgins: "Nah, tell me"
Jimmy: "it's pretty funny shit man. We were like on Elizabeth st. and the bus driver has pulled into make a stop and there  is like a cunt on his motorbike so the bus driver just beeps his horn for like 5 seconds straight man, it was pretty funny. Then the bike dude didn't move so the bus driver ran into him and knocked him off his bike. The bus driver was some fat dude with a hat believe it or not. Then the bus driver gets out of the bus and starts abusing the shit through this motorbike guy who is on the ground with his motorbike all scratched and shit. and i'm like WHAT THE FUCK!?"
Higgins: "hahahahaha"

Yea so bus drivers are pretty fat.. even the skinny ones act fat and what's up with their attitude?! i mean they're always CUT!! i've only ever met one bus driver who wasn't cut when i caught his "bus" and that's because he thought his "bus" was a Casino!! haha u get on and he's like "place your bets" and you go to give him money and he's like "put it on the table plese sir" and i'm like "hrrrmmm" and he takes it and goes "you won!" and gives me my ticket hahahaha funny bastard!

Quote of the Day:
"Who are you to critisize, to judge and burn the tribes?
the world will be extinct and your flesh will rot with mine!!" - Nomad, Sepultura

Monday - 7/2/00 -> Wednesday 16/2/00
Well i think i earned myself quite a nice break from the Tom Foolery that is "Crappin' On". And what have i been doing for the last nine days you ask? well i think if you read on you might just well find out..

First up i think i'll start with a bit of a policeman joke :)

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball." He replied, "Highway patrolmen don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his
book, got back on his motorcycle and left.

Hahaha i think that's quite humurous.. for a few seconds but when you think about it.. it kinda sux..
So the last couple of days i aint been doing too much, hanging around with erica and tipping the wrong footy teams. But i do think the following things suck:

1. KoRn - What the fark are you guys thinking.. i mean you think you're so fucking awesome because you've "Got the life" you think "Life is Peachy" well i think you guys are just fucked up. m'kay?

2. Money - If you ain't got much then it sux, but if you've got some then it's awesome.. if you've got too much then it also sucks major... actually.. the last one is kinda kewl because it can fund kinky sex acts nicely.. :)

3. Tipping the wrong footy team - This kinda speaks for itself, not only does it make you feel lame but everyone else in the tipping comp can see that you suck and you're loosing.

4. Spilling stuff on yourself - Not only food but all sorts of stuff that just doesn't belong there coz.. i dunno u gotta wash it and that.

5. Ally McBeal - although last nite there was some lesbo action on there.. it still doesnt make up for all the shit.

6. Writing a whole section of "Crappin' On" and the computer locks up before you can save it - Self explainatory

7. There, Their, They're - Simple? I think not.

8. Getting up, hitting your head on your bed-side table, standing on something sharp, someone's already in the dunny, walking into a wall on the way out to the kitchen, no clean bowls for cereal, you clean a bowl, pouring cereal and then realising there's no milk, go to make toast and there's no bread, get in your car to go get some bread and milk, forget your keys, wallet and clothes, drive down to the servo, it's closed, go home, go to your room, have no clean work uniform, stand on the sharp thing again, go have a shower, no soap, shampoo OR conditioner, get out, no towel, get dressed, go out to the kitchen to have some milo, put milo in a glass, remember there's no milk, get in your car, drive to work, remember you left your shoes at home, get back to work late, a shitty manager on, get shit spilt all over you, workmate talks about KoRn the whole nite (and how he tipped the right footy teams), Go on your break have no money to buy food, come home late, go to have a shower, no soap, go into you're room stand on something sharp, hit your head on your bedside table and fall asleep.

Yea well those things kinda suck.. i dunno if you've ever had a day like that but i've had quite a few. I'm so damn tired at the moment i think i might just sit in front of the TV and fall asleep whilst comsuming chocolate and chips and coke. sounds like fun, no?

Quote of the Day:
"Hahaha you got the nerd.. HE LOOKS LIKE YOU POINDEXTER!!" - Homer Simpson

Sunday - 6/2/00
If your parents never had kids chances are you won't either.

Saturday - 5/2/00
Today i was looking through my mIRC logs and i came accross Jimmy_Boy's one.. and i thought i'd edit out some of the norti stuff that yous arent' allowed to see and give you a bit of insite into what we talk about in those many times that we have done just that!

Click here to see it!

That's all folks..

Quote of the Day:
"Just do stuff and stuff" - "Fast" James Foxall

Friday - 4/2/00
Sex... we all wan't it.. not all of us get it but when we do get it we can't get enought of it. This is like the best thing in the whole fucking world.. especially when the person you're doing it with is good... and i mean rreeaaallly ggggoooooodddd oohhhh.. ooooooooohhh... uummmm... yea.
So that's all i've got to say about that.. but here's a little poem that someone once told me and now i'm putting it here:

Have you done it on a boat? Have you done it with a goat?
Have you done it in a bed? Have you done it with the dead?
Have you done it in the ass? Have you done it, high on grass?
Have you done it in the car? Have you simply gone too far?
Have you done it on the beach? Have you done it with the teach?
Have you done it on your back? Have you done it on a dare?
Do you really think i care?

Yea.. it's kinda got a good swing to it.. but also kinda sucks at the same time.. here is my poem about sex:

It's fucking good? Why.. Yes it IS!

Like it? good!

Quote of the Day:
"Do I make you horny baby?! Do I? Do I make you RANNDY?" - Austin "Danger" Powers (International Man Of Mystery)

Wednesday - 2/2/00
Wow.. February already.. it seemed like only a month ago we were all cheering and hugging people like dick-heads bringing in the new millenium with drunkedness and sluring words. So i'm thinking for this month i'm gunna devote crapping on to things that get my brain (and heart) racing.. u know.. the sorta things that just kick fucking arse!!! the sorta things that make u wanna get up in the morning and make you wanna do all day long (and all night long) until the day you die.
The first cab off the rank.. and these arent in any particular order, is MUSAK.. i love this stuff.. any sorts of music.. excpet maybe some real gay techno, rap or R&B.. but i like ROCK especially Aussie RROCCKK.. i mean it just plain kicks arse.. when you have bands like silverchair, Powderfinger, The Living End, Grinspoon, Jebediah, AC/DC, Midnight Oil, Regurgitator, Killing Heidi, Custard, Spiderbait, Frenzal Rhomb and many many more that just play some rocking shit that just makes you OH FUCK YEAAHH and have an orgasm in your head that just makes you wanna JUMP and ROCK OUT and just kick some arse strap on a guiatar turn the volume up to 11 and fang some fast thrashing licks that just shake the walls till 3am then what need do you have for drugs or any other sort of entertainment???? GET BEHIND AUSSIE ROCK BECUASE IT KICKS ARSE!!!!! YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  more another day :P

Quote Of the Day:
"Had the perfect job called life you didn't like it you resigned" - Daniel Johns (Petrol and Chlorine, silverchair)

Sunday - 23/01/00
I'm sitting on the net here on a nice warm Sunday afternoon here in sunny Queensland and i'm thinking i should have a BBQ.. but then i'm thinking.. nah... coz i'll have to clean all shit up and i don't really wanna.. but i've sorta got a top set-up for a BBQ.. but NO POOL.. so if u reckon u'd come to my place for a BBQ then tell me.. but yea anyways.. so this person comes on the net and gets up me for not doing a 'Crapping On' yet.. and i'm like.. umm.. well before i didnt have anything to write about.. but now i'm just gunna write about YOU.. so there!!
Just some words of advice for people in general..
If you don't wan't to learn to read.. then read to learn. If your not master of your own domain then your domain will be your master. If you can't adjust to change then change to adjust. And yes i have seen Mystery Men.. and yes it was good and yes Mr Furious is a funny bastard!!

Link of the Day - Jebediah

Friday - 21/01/00
So i go to get some dinner at the local "Mc" fast food restaurant and i get up there and the freiken thing is closed because of a blackout!?!!! i mean.. whats up with that.. u'd think that they'd have a generator or something in these dire times of need.. so i think.. what the hell am i gunna do?! i was expecting a McBurger and a McShake and i can't just not get one... so i go to the next closest one.. and it takes like freiken 10 mins to get to the ordering window!!! i'm not happy McRestaurant.. something has just gotta be done about this poor service of late.. i mean u should be running a tight ship here..but instead your service is as good as your burgers after-taste.. So i'm coming back from the other McRestaurant and the one closest to me is open NOW!! with it's mega-sign all light up and everything!!! I was not a happy chappy..boo hoo to you McRestaurant.. remember.. no-body does chicken like Some-um-thing, and the burgers are better and Something something, Where DO U THINK YOU ARE?!?! actually.. this probably wasn't McRestaurants fault so thats okay.. but i like to bitch so shut up!!

Phrase of the day
"Is that a gun in your pocket or is your penis shaped like a gun?" -- McDonni

Thursday - 20/01/00
Because of the heat i think my intellectual capabilities have been severly endangered to a point where the have failed to function.. so i think i'll just post something that an anonymous person (Donni) wrote on my msg board (with little added comments from me):

"for fuck sakes mother nature we got the fucking idea that its summer! why does it have to be so damn hot!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaghhhhhh! not even the usually mud puddle is cold!!!! [what fucking mud puddle???] gosh! couldnt she just make an announcement and go 'excuse me..er ppl around the southern hemisphere, its summer, and well im gonna be really nice and not make it so fucking hot that you are forced to wear little more than your underwear! [<- why bother? :P] so if you please just pretend that it is summer...' what can you do when its this hot!? <- cool down? my fan blows hot air and i swear you can hear the water sizzle when oyu [<- umm.. u can't spell.. you're stoopid!] step under the shower!! has ANYONE got ANY ideas on how to possibly live at this temp!??!?!?!?"

YOU GO GIRL!! hehehe

Phrase of the Day:
"Fuck it's hot!!" - every freikin person in QLD!!!

Tuesday - 18/1/00
So i'm thinking I should do something with myself on my holidays, and i think.. hrmm maybe i should get off my arse and do something but then i couldn't be bothered thinking of something to do.. so then i just succmb to the nerd that i am and sit on the internet all day, at least i got a couple of compliments from someone though.. whether or not they were true is still unkown by myself and the animals that live in my keyboard but anyways.. that same person did infact give me a good idea though.. i should start charging people for access to my homepage and this person said i could be making alot money from my comical geniousness.. well i told that particular person that my comical quirks for the world to share.. plus i couldnt be bothered and what sort of poor fool would actually pay to read this shite!? i mean geez think about it.. people paying to read some 18 year old looser whinge about what happened in his day.. i think not!! FUUCCKKK i've had so many fucking ideas of what to write on here the last couple of days.. but do i remember them??? NOOO of course i dont!! because that would make my life a little bit better than miserable.. but instead i have to come on here and write stuff about forgetting what i was gunna write but re-asuring u's that it was funny and then u's just thinking 'yea right.. as if he could think of something funnny' so i don't know why i bother.. i guess it's because sometimes.... i still hear the screams at night.. i hear them.....they call my name.... i don't know why they don't leave me alone.. lock your doors.. they'll call your name too.. THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY!!! THEN YOU'LL SEE WHAT SORT OF FUCKING LIFE I LIVE!!! YOU'LL PAY!!! YOU'LL COME CRAWLING BACK YOU BASTARD!! JUST WAIT AND SEE!! YOU'LL BE ON YOUR KNEES CRYING TO ME PLEADING FOR THEM TO STOP!! BUT THEY WONT!! AND THEN WE'LL..  .... err... yyyeaaahh.

Quote of the Day:
"Yeah.. that's what they all say, they all say d'oh" - Police Cheif Wiggum

Friday - 14/1/00
How's it going? good. thats good. how are you? oh i'm good thank you. Thats good. Whats up with this multi-purpose word? I mean it can describe EVERYTHING!!.. How does it taste? Good, How are you feeling? Good, How was the movie? Good. How'd u go? How are you? What's it like? How is the food? What's the music like? Was it good?!!? i mean whats up with the word good.. i think it's just thats the only descriptive word i know.. so.. does anyone feel the same or am i in my own boat here?! guys?!!? hello!? fine....    .    .  . . . . .... . . ... . . ...........  <--- thats my dot pattern.. i just made it up.. ahh one of my speakers isnt working.. .... okay not it's okay i just kicked it.. thats good for it right!? RIGHT??!! fuck man.. no-one is answering me today.. it's like i'm just saying stuff and you're listening and not saying anything... fine well i'm stopping then.

Quote of the Day:
"Just do stuff" -- Jimmy

Tuesday - 11/1/00
I've got nothing much to say today.. i'm just sittin here ready to go to work and i'm a bit bored.. i hope u weren't expecting something funny today.. but i told ya i couldnt' be funny 24/7.. i need a break from comedy for today i think.. well i'm working anyways.. from 10am - 10:30pm.. how's that for a shift?! well i'm to work now...

Quote of the Day:
"sometimes i sit in my room and just think.. 'this is my room and i don't know what i'm thinking'" -- Higgins

Monday - 10/1/00
Whats up with people saying "i promise" i mean.. just because they say those two words doesnt mean it's ever gunna happen.. "Whooa.. he said he promises.. i guess it's a sure thing".. i mean geez think about it people.. if someone says the promise to you just kick em in the guts before hand before they can get away with it... unless of course.. they meant it.. then.. errr.....ummm.... just ignore this.

Link of the Day - Powderfinger

Friday - 7/1/00
Well you may have noticed an absence from Crappin On for a week or so.. that is if anybody ever came here!! Well.. it's because i bought myself an automobile.. yes thats right... Higgins with a CAR!!! woo!! Yea so it's pretty kewl.. it's a '90 Laser KE.. i reckon u could probably shag in it if u tried hard enough.. hehehehehe i said hard..
But last night i lost $20!!! so i'm pretty f-ing cut with that.. but if anyone finds it i'm offering a $20 reward.. so keep your eyes out.. m'kay?

Link of the Day - Ford

Saturday - 1/1/00 - Happy New Year!
Wow.. so my computer didn't blow up and the world didn't explode.. i must say that the change from the ninties to the naughties was the biggest hyped non-event in history.. i mean geezz.. it doesnt even feel like the YEAR 2000!! i thought i'd be flying a time machine around by now.. whats the go there?!
I go into a certain fast food restaurant the other day to buy some burgers and they produce these pulverised pieces of shit!! i mean.. the picture looks all inviting and you're thinking "yea.. i reckon that looks pretty tasty" and then they give you your food and it's just this mashed up ass excretion in paper wrapping. There should fully be some sort of regualtion or something.. and do u think the ppl who own the stores know whats going? or do they honestly think that each one of those 16 y.o geeks are making award winning burgers that stand half a foot high?!

Link of the Day - www.y2k.com - what else? :P

Wednesday - 28/12/99
So my friend James invites me to his house for a bit of a doo and i get around there with erica and it's like pretty kewl and stuff.. and then this chick like flashes her boobs in the kitchen and i nearlly get a clip under the ears from erica.. but then she sorta saved my arse by telling erica that i didn't see anythin and that i turned away.. i'm such a gentleman aye? :P Yea.. and then so umm.. i go to work at that place and it's fully busy but i got payed double time and a half coz of the public holiday so that was pretty kewlnessholio and i'm freiken tired so i think i might go to bed and dream about sex.. uhh.. i mean girls.. uuh i mean Shmeri :P oh and by the way the flashing chick.. if u wanna know who it is then e-mail me :P

Link of the Day - www.icq.com - my # is 55543424

Friday - 24/12/99
Christmas eve.. wow.. Christmas Eve 1999.. and this is gunna be the best Christmas EVER!! hehehe The other night at sizzler i was doing some stuff with these knives and i cut my hand, then about 10mins later i burnt my hand ON the cut then when were closing i got some corrosive chemicals in the cut.. i reckon that just topped of the ever increasingly shithouse night at work.. but eh.. whaddya gunna do aye?

Link of the Day -Make your own f-ing homepage!

Thursday - 23/12/99
Only a couple of days to go now until that fat Santa prick tries to fit down my "chimeny". So last night i go to work at a local restaurant.. lets call it... "Cizzler" to protect the "innocent". And i find out that i start work at 9:30am new years fucking DAY!!! i guess thats my punishment for busting my arse up there every fucking week!! "Hrmm Glen seems to be working hard, i think i'll get him a kick in the fucking head for Christmas and make him open on new years day.." Well.. they tell me it's because i'm "responsible" and that i'm probably the only person that would turn up to work in my section (dish fucking washer of course) so yea.. i guess thats what i get!! Boo Hoo to you Cizzler.. you suck!! Little do they know that they will see the irresponsible side of me that morning when i stumble in the door with my empty bottle of Vodka in my hand :P then we'll see who's responsible.. wont we?

Link of the Day -"Death becomes clearer through bloodshot eyes"

Wednesday - 22/12/99
Well as you may well know it's only a couple of days until christmas (it's on the 25th .. right Jimmy?) Hahaha i just saw the postman deliver my mail and he couldn't get it in the front of the mailbox so he put it in the back... i thought it was amusing.. ANYWAYS!! So i get this e-mail from this guy who says:
"..Your homepage sucks you fucking faggot! You should be shot! Anybody else would have used this space on the web for something constructive but you had to produce this fucked up piece of shit.. if i ever see you in the street i'll show you where u can shove your homepage and u won't be 'crapping on' after i've dealt with you.."
well.. all i can say to this is i'm glad i have so many loyal fans.. oh yeah.. and thanks for the constuctive advice DAD.

Link of the Day -Hotmail

Monday - 20/12/99
Yea i thought of something today when i was at work cleaning some cutlery.. and now i've forgotten so.. i guess that kinda sux.. but it's also kinda good because then it's not real lame and stuff when i put it up here.. that is all.

Link of the Day -e-greetings

Friday - 17/12/99
Just a quick peice of advice for today, when you're going to the dunny and u wanna do 1's and 2's.. make sure you do your #2's BEFORE doing your #1's.. because.. i mean.. no-one really like their own piss splashing on their arse huh? Just a thought..

Link of the Day -Jimmy's Page

Thursday - 16/12/99
Yea so umm.. i haven't really got much to say at the moment.. i bet when i do come up with something to write here i'll be like on the dunny and by the time i get to the computer to put it on my homepage i would've forgotten it..
You ever notice how at traffic lights the only thing stopping someone from going through a red light is the fact that the light it red.. like it's "Oh no.. the light is REEDD!! better stop then.." I mean.. why doesn't the same thing work for railroad crossings? At a railroad crossing there's lights flashing, bell's ringing and massive boom gates stopping people from crossing yet they still get hit by freiken trains.. what's the G-O there?! and also how come railroad crossings don't have green lights to tell u when to go... i mean.. traffic lights have a green light.. so whats the deal!? why don't traffic lights just have an orange and a red.. there's something seriously wrong with the traffic light system in this world and i shall get to the bottom of it before my time is up!!!

Link of the Day - Queensland Rail