By Francis Trump
"Helpdesk!" says the voice,
"Can I help you?" I ask,
"Computer has frozen,"
I tell him, "End Task"
I hate sitting here,
On the end of the 'phone,
It's boring and tiresome,
And I'm here all alone.
Just for some fun,
I'm filled with glee,
When I piss in the kettle,
And brew up some tea.
Here comes the manager,
"Would you like a brew?
And perhaps your guest
Would like one too?"
With a smile on my face,
I pour them a cup,
Watching their faces,
As they start to sup.
"Funny tasting," he says,
"Darjeeling," I reply,
I could laugh so hard,
It'd make me cry.
I offer them my flapjack,
I do not want it,
'Cos it fell on the floor,
Right in some rat shit.
That was most fun,
I've had in days,
Teach him to say no,
Like when I asked for that raise.
