I.
I waken
to the warm caress
of light slipping through
my window.
On my chest
it's warm hands
push back the night
in the joy of another day.
And the struggles of youth
are gone.
This is the day
my feet will carry me
from this place
to a place I've
never seen.
I go.
Powdery clouds
dance through sapphire skies
while my young eyes
scan the sights of the city.
A dot among many dots
I steer my course
through the hapless tide
of those whose dreams
are unrealized.
And mine are already
coming true.
And its a brand new day
and a brand new way
for me. Gotta see
all I can see, and be.
And in the office
her blue eyes meet mine.
Yeah, I think it'll be
a fine, fine day...
II.
...comes with the bleating
of the clock. I
cover my head
and pray for it to go away.
Calling down grey clouds and smog,
I leave my bed as weary
as I came to it. I
drink last night's stale coffee
and like a slug
anointed with salt, I crawl
out my door to the street.
Here
in the tide and blood
of the city.
I might feel at home
if I weren't so alone.
Every face that stares
back at me, never sees me
or even the mask I wear.
Just pale, ashen palor
under pale, ashen skies.
Damn, I hate the rain.
Under flourescent lights
I tap the keys
that have come to define
my existence, and that damnable
cursor - always blinking,
always waiting for more, never
content with what it has.
And that new kid really
pisses me off.
He's too bright
he's too shy
he's got too much
hope in his eyes.
He's just a little too much
like I used to be.
So I feed my cynicism
on the undissolved bits
of non-dairy creamer
floating in my cup,
and return to my
gigabyte master.
III.
She left me today
said I wouldn't
treat her the way
I used too. Guess
that bruise didn't
help any.
Went to the park today.
the brown-green grass
comforts me, the way
it breaks and withers away.
Or the leaves that
slip into a stream and drift
away. Sat and watched the children play.
Play silly games
to wile away
the time that looks back me
every time I look in the mirror
And the first frost
chilling my beloved grass
has found its way
to my head.
Little boy
don't ask me to play
don't show me your ball
just run away.
Run away
to the dreams of day
or lie in brown-green grass
and stare at the stars
I haven't noticed
in years. Run away.
M.J.Z.
110 lines
Written May 1999
Revised 2 December 1999
Revised 9 December 2003
(C)1999 & 2003 Brenden's Journey
[draft3]
I.
Settle thy studies
and begin, to sound the depths
of what you profess
Begin.
His eyes sweep
scroll to scroll
to find, to hold, to know
His heart bleeds, aching
is there no more...
no more for my soul
yearning to see
beyond this mortal frame
into the eyes of eternity?
Philosophy failing
Medicine ailing
His mind reeling,
Scripture's holy calling
to his mind falling
his soul is sealing.
Adieu Law, Physic
and Divinity
'tis magic, magic
that hath ravished me.
Draw now the circle
summon the angel
of the pit of Hell.
Arise, and hear
"Think thou that I
who beheld His face
and have tasted of
Heaven's sweet fruit
am not tormented with ten-thousand hells?
Turn, Faustus, turn."
It is the way
I have chosen.
And his blood congeals
'till fire make it run
fly, O man, fly;
And his fate is sealed
in fire of a thousand suns
fly, O man, fly.
It is finished
it is done
It is finished
and my soul is undone.
In the laughter
in the power
of the Prince of the East
and his minister
Mephistopheles.
II.
And the glory of the heavens
is laid before my eyes
and I find it wanting,
And will you tell me
that all is made for man
just under the angels?
And the world is not
what I thought it was.
And will Your blood
blot out the words
of this damnable scroll,
And can Your eyes
see and forgive me
my blackened and damned soul?
And there are hellhounds
on my heels
Hellhounds on my heels
I run, I run
"And My blood would blot out the words
of that damnable scroll
My eyes can see and forgive thee
thy blackened and damned soul.
"I am the Way
I am the Way."
And the world is not
what I thought it was.
What I thought it was.
It is the way
I have chosen.
The way I have chosen.
III.
"And Hell has no boundries
where it is e'er we shall be,
When earth is dissolved and purified
Every place shall be Hell that is not Paradise."
Four and twenty years
the devil steals my tears
he binds the hands I would lift
to pray.
No grace can allay my fears
midnight's drawing near
and Lucifer's hands shan't
be stayed.
The serpent who tempted Eve
salvation could receive
but Faustus is damned
to Hell.
Christ's love I can't believe
such bliss I can't conceive
to forgive a soul
so fell.
Hellhounds on my heels.
Hellhounds on my heels.
Slowly slowly run
oh horses of the night
yet time moves on
and the devil will come,
Mountains and hills
come fall on me
hide me from the Face
of God.
Midnight rings
O soul be changed
to drops of rain
and fall into the sea,
I see them come
sweet devil be kind
My God, my God look not
so fierce on me...
M.J.Z.
Based on "The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus", by Christopher Marlowe
(c) 1998 Brenden's Journey