Episode 11: The Test
SCENE ONE
EXT. ---PARK---NIGHT (LATE)
SCOTT pacing outside the park’s entrance, bums and freeloaders pass by, then DAVID steps out and goes to SCOTT.
SCOTT
It’s take you that long to use the bathroom?!
DAVID
Child it wasn’t that long
SCOTT
Two hours?!
DAVID
Ok, had to shit and throw up, you
Forget I’m sick! Now let’s go!
SCOTT
Wait I have to tie my shoes!
DAVID
First you are fussing about me using
the bathroom and now you’re taking
your God damn time tying shoes!
SCOTT
Excuse me for not tripping on my ass!
DAVID
SCOTT
You know you should thank me for
going with ya
DAVID
I should, but you ain’t doin’ me no
Favor, I’m a big boy, ya know!
SCOTT
Who gets his ass in trouble than any
little boy!
DAVID
They’re tied, now let’s go!
SCOTT
Ok, ok shit…..
They leave
SCENE ENDS
SCENE TWO
INT. ------ GARY’S OFFICE -----DAYTIME
Both GREG and GARY are cuddled together in the office floor. GARY wakes sees
GREG by him in his office, naked and realize what happened staggers up and quickly
puts his clothes, trying not to wake him.
GARY
Not such a hard sleeper
GREG
How could I? So I wasn’t dreaming…..
GARY
It seems like one?
GREG
Tell me, you’re awesome man!
GARY
Thank you? But don’t spread it!
GREG
Why not I feel as if I want to tell the world!
GARY
The world can wait a while.
Getting up and approaches him
GREG
Yeah we have each other…now!
Kisses him, awkward he slowly pulls away.
GARY
Let’s put a rain check on that now…
I’m in the mood for coffee you want
some?
GREG
Later…ah, did you really wanted to do
this with me?
GARY
Um, let’s not get into that
GREG
If you didn’t why did you continue it?
GARY
Can I please get some coffee in peace?
GREG
No man I want to know!
Finishes making coffee
GARY
Know what?!
Grabs his arm
GREG
Was this a mistake for you!
(Beat)
GARY
No, I guess!
GREG squeezes his waist and kisses him
SCENE ENDS
SCENE THREE
INT. ---NIKKI AND CARLA’S APARTMENT---NIGHT
NIKKI and CARLA looks at a home pregnancy box on there table.
Awkwardly
NIKKI
So…..
CARLA
So….
NIKKI
I should open it, right?
CARLA
Uh yeah, you bought the damn thing!
NIKKI
We have to find out if or if not?
CARLA
There’s only one way to know
NIKKI
I mean suppose, it’s says it is when it
isn’t or it says it isn’t when it is or….
CARLA
You wanted to get this test thing, when
I said to just do it the way my grandmama
taught us with the vinegar and leaf.
NIKKI
First off, I am not putting that leafy
crap and cat piss on my vagina!
CARLA
You can use a store brand cheap shit
verses my grandmama’s
NIKKI
Carlie, this is one of the most important
we have to take our time with this
CARLA
Then damnit, let’s go to the Doctor…
NIKKI
I’m not havin’ some strange man looking
Up me
CARLA
We’ll get a woman!
NIKKI
I don’t want that either!
CARLA
Ya gotta do something, Poogie! An answer
Ain’t gonna come by starin’ at a box
NIKKI
We try!
(Beat)
NIKKI (CONT'D)
Ok! Ok! Just let me go to the bathroom first!
Goes to front door
CARLA
The bathroom’s inside
NIKKI
I want privacy!
Slams the door
SCENE ENDS
SCENE FOUR
INT. --- B'N'B DINNING AREA ---DAYTIME
SCOTT tiredly lays his head on the table; enters ANTHONY who goes to wake him.
SCOTT
Don’t ask!
ANTHONY
Don’t need to, hell you’re catching more
Zzs here then upstairs.
SCOTT
Two hours of sleep isn’t much rest.
ANTHONY
This gotta end, I mean you’re only not
his personal help!
SCOTT
he’s not in the right mind even care!
ANTHONY
What are you his psychologist?!
SCOTT
I’m just trying to help him
ANTHONY
Why can't you confront him on this?
SCOTT
I’d do better with a mad dog forming
In the mouth than with him and you
can’t talk, you’re in necessarily innocent
doin’ extra work outside of the café?
ANTHONY
I’m different, I don’t want blow my
cover with him!
SCOTT
Cover? Cover for what?
ANTHONY
Ya know….. That’s he’s…
SCOTT
The only thing you have to you do
Is not tell him or anybody….
JESSE barges in
JESSE
Hey I heard this place has good food!
Noticing SCOTT’S condition
JESSE
Rough night!
ANTHONY
( To JESSE) Plus! And all you have to do
is tell him to step off, besides why
would that be so beneficial that’s he
doesn’t know I know!
JESSE
I wanna don’t know!
DAVID enters and interrupts
DAVID
Know about what?
SCOTT
Because he doesn’t need to!
Gets up and staggers to buffet table
DAVID
Who needs to know?!
JESSE
Don’t look at me, I just came to eat!
ANTHONY
Nothing!
Smiles
JESSE
And I thought sadist had it rough!
DAVID
Well I’ll tell ya, I slept like a baby
last night!
JESSE
After last a pack of camels and a bottle
of Vodka I was out as a log.
ANTHONY
From how late you came in, seemed
you had a better night than me.
DAVID
Only to my secret spot!
ANTHONY
Where at?
DAVID
Club Bridges.
JESSE
I thought the café was you’re spot?
DAVID
No, no, no, that’s where I get free drinks.
True!
DAVID
It’s my home away from home! All us
girls and the guys in the Atlanta or
the south even converse, 24/7!
JESSE
Isn’t that where that drags…Bobbie?
DAVID
The female impersonator you’re talking
is Barbi, the second best bitch in the south,
Moiu being first!
DAVID(CONT'D)
And of course, you’re husband was a saint
for accompanying me, thank him for me
when you get a chance..
ANTHONY
Will do.
They go to buffet
DAVID
I know he must’ve been exhausted trying
to keep up with an old but vibrant girl!
JESSE
And where is she?
DAVID
Watch it, Papa bear I bite!
JESSE
So do I!
DAVID
Ooo, that could be fun, but don’t let my
husband know! Speaking of the devil,
where is he? Or should I say was?
ANTHONY
Didn’t see him this morning?
JESSE
I repeat, I just came to eat!
He goes by SCOTT
DAVID
Eat up you’re growing boy with a
Baby on the way
JESSE
So they tell me!
NIKKI then enters
DAVID
And talk about coincidence! Well howdy
Mama bear, just talkin with Papa bear!
Here’s since we maybe eatin for two this
morning!
Handing her a plate
NIKKI
Save it!
Snatches
DAVID
Cramps startin’ already?
NIKKI
Not where you think!
Holding her head
DAVID
I’m confused is that what suppose to
happened when you’re!
NIKKI
I don’t know yet!
DAVID
What are you waiting for, go take that
Goddamn test!
NIKKI
It ain’t that easy Davy?
DAVID
To let you know, you don’t have to
Go to a doctor, they do sale boxes of….
NIKKI
I got one at home!
DAVID
Then what’s the problem?!
JESSE
Don’t tell me you need more!
NIKKI
Nothing but a fresh wand of cat piss in
my vagina can cure?!
DAVID
Don’t look at me
JESSE
Is that some dyke thingy for checking babies?
NIKKI
No! But that’s grandmama’s old remedy
for finding if ya hitched!
DAVID
Ok, try that!
NIKKI
You’ve been drinking rum for breakfast
again?
DAVID
Heavens, do something the suspense is
killing me!
NIKKI
This ain’t as easy for me now that’s
Why
Enters GARY
DAVID
What are you doin’ home early?
Goes to him
GARY
Early? I’ve just gone in.
DAVID
Whatever! Go talk some sense with this
Lady, up here worrying me with cat’s
milk in vagina or Whatever… do something
‘cause I’m too young to be a Gary-haired old
Auntie!
Shoves back
GARY
Look I’ve pulled in an all-nighter trying
to keep what I have running and I’m
tired can we discuss this later, please?!
Thank you?!
Slowly walks out
CUT TO:
ANTHONY
So it was drag queens
SCOTT
A lot more!
ANTHONY
I’d bet!
JESSE
No I think he’s hinting about the Bridge’s
other Barb, and white lady and Crystal!
ANTHONY
Drag queens!
JESSE
Nope, but they also can make you happy,
along with the usual Dick n Johns.
GREG walks in
GREG
Where the grub in famished!
Goes to the buffet table
GARY stands staring at him
SCENE ENDS
SCENE FIVE
INT. ------GREG’S OFFICE-----DAYTIME
While GREG talks n the phone with client, a pissed GARY comes in and
Stand by him until he’s done.
GREG
What’s up?
(Beat)
GREG (CONT'D)
Ok, my needling case is at home soon
If you’re gonna blame me for any needle
to ass accident…..
GARY
Did you get enough to eat this morning?
GREG
Yeah!
GARY
Let me rephrase that what where you doing?!
GREG
Eating breakfast as I always do! What’s
going on?
GARY
Don’t play stupid!
GREG
Stupid! This about what we did last night?
GREG
Thought you weren’t bothered?
GARY
I never said I wasn’t!
GREG
So you were bothered!
GARY
No you asked me if I’d regret it, and
then, no! Now!
GREG
Now what?! Oh, you rather be with
Air than some one that’ll actually
GARY
There’s no fucking contest, now what
happened last night!
GREG
Thank you for calling me a whore!
GARY
No…..
GREG
Then what?!
Just then LEAH walks in
LEAH
I came early so we can get a good seat
you know how they are in Buckhead’s
finest dinery….
Sees GREG and GARY expression
LEAH (CONT'D)
Uh, oh, I’ve walked in something wicked
GREG
No dear, just our usual difference of ideas!
Walks her out
SCENE ENDS
SCENE SIX
INT. --- POLICE PRECINCT/NIKKI APARTM’T ---DAYTIME
CARLA does paper work phone rings
NIKKI
Hey!
CARLA
Finished using the bathroom, I hear.
NIKKI
I had to breathe
CARLA (STATION)
It would’ve been better you’ve told me
that before you left!
NIKKI V/O
I know, I’m sorry but I had so much
on me with this baby if it is
CARLA
There’s a way to find….
NIKKI V/O
I’m not gonna say again I ain’t
Gonna go to no doctor nor use some
Cah cah maney cat piss….
CARLA (STATION)
I was gonna suggest that damn box
you bought!
NIKKI V/O
Yeah it’s just….
CARLA (STATION)
Honey we gotta do something and
whatever problem you have deal!
NIKKI V/O
You’re right!
(Beat)
NIKKI V/O
I’ll see you tonight.
CARLA (STATION)
No running to the bathroom?
NIKKI (APARTM’T)
No mother!
CARLA (STATION)
Don’t tempt me, girl!
NIKKI (APARTM’T)
Gonna use your huff and stick?!
CARLA
Let’s save that later for the celebration!
NIKKI (APARTM’T)
We’ll see!
CARLA
No, it will be!
SCENE ENDS
SCENE SEVEN
INT. ------BnB LOBBY ------THAT NIGHT
CARLA sits on sofa talking to GARY paying no attention.
CARLA
Shit, she did it again first this morning
with the bathroom, now she’s dodging
me at her own job! Me!
ANTHONY walks by carrying a broom and dust pan.
ANTHONY
Man, talk about cold feet!
CARLA
Well it’s ridiculous and so Nikki! Treats
everything like a cute little project…
Seeing GARY‘S inattentiveness
CARLA (CONT'D)
Are you even listening?!
GARY
Yeah...terrible!
CARLA
Gee, thanks for your input!
GARY
Sorry, if you haven’t noticed, I’m not
myself a lot on my mind.
CARLA
It must be, you usually can't resist sticking
your nose into any of my issue!
ANTHONY
And you did have that merger with whatever.
GARY
No, That went fine there.
ANTHONY
Must be something or some one else.
And it’s not hard to guess who.
CARLA
Or why!
GARY
Sorry, It’s not David.
CARLA
Well are you gonna tell us? Have me miss
my story!
GARY
Maybe later. I’m gonna to take a walk.
See ya guys!
Gets up and goes out
ANTHONY
Poor guy! He’s working his last nerve!
CARLA
Who’s that?
ANTHONY
David.
CARLA
He’s working everyone one nerves.
What’s new?!
ANTHONY
True enough but, does he have any
Idea what’s going on? I mean as much
as he loves him….
CARLA
Baby, I don’t think he cares.
ANTHONY
As much he cares about anything else
around here
CARLA
That’s why you’re doing his work?
ANTHONY
Huh?!
CARLA
You don’t normally moonlight here?
ANTHONY
I-I’m just helping them out since there
slacking
CARLA
Why, you never did it before.
ANTHONY
Just seeing
ANTHONY
No haven’t
CARLA
And whose fault is that?!
DAVID and SCOTT walk out
DAVID
Well it isn’t mine!
CARLA
(To Herself)
So you say!
DAVID
Watcha talkin bout?
ANTHONY
...talkin’!
DAVID
Not about me, I hope! At least nothing
bad!
ANTHONY
Always!
DAVID
(To CARLA)
So is my niece or nephew doin’ well?
ANTHONY
She is trying to figure that out now.
CARLA
If I could find her.
DAVID
She’s still hiding’? Shit she was here earlier
Today……y’all need to do something
CARLA
Gee thanks for the advice!
DAVID
I’m just mentioning what I’d do. I am a
believer of honesty. Has anyone seen Gary?
I swear he’s been like a rabbit recently!
Popping in and out!
CARLA
Takes one to know one!
DAVID
What’s that sweetie?
CARLA
He went upstairs!
DAVID
Poor man’s probably bushed, I better
Not disturb him! Just tell him I went
out for awhile, (To ANTHONY), can I
borrow your husband again tonight?
He’s helped me out the last time and
I thought maybe he could help me again
ANTHONY
Why not, I’ll just finish sweeping his floor
and cleaning your dining room!
DAVID
Thank and you’re doing a great job, better
than you other half!
He peck him on the check
DAVID (CONT'D)
I don’t know what I’d do without y’all.
He and SCOTT walk out
ANTHONY
SCENE ENDS
SCENE EIGHT
INT. ---THE CAFÉ (OFFICE) ------ THAT NIGHT
NIKKI nervously sits looking at papers, JESSE open the door, she ducks comes in puts something down heads for the door, and then stops.
JESSE
She’s gone been gone for over two
hours you can come out!
Gets up
NIKKI
I was looking for my pen!
JESSE
The one on your desk?
NIKKI
Jesse, I’m ok so can you just leave it?!
JESSE
Looks more like you were hiding, but
then again I could be wrong.
NIKKI
Well you are, now if you can excuse me!
JESSE
No problem! Any consolation I know
what it’s like to have cold feet.
NIKKI
What?!
JESSE
The is you is or is you ain’t havin a
baby issue?
NIKKI
Well let set the record straight, I am!
JESSE
So you took it?!
NIKKI
Jesse, why are you still here?!
JESSE
Because I want to know if my little
package made it in.
NIKKI
Goodbye Jesse!
JESSE
I know what it feel like though.
NIKKI
Uh, no you don’t!
JESSE
I’m not talking about that, having your
heart set on something so many times
and it not coming to being.
NIKKI
Spear me the story and leave!
JESSE
But it wouldn’t be fun and you won’t
Get the point! I stayed with my mother
until I was ten or eleven and she had me
stay with my so-called father bad idea!
NIKKI
Jesse!
JESSE
Wait, here’s the good part. I left at on
my sixteenth birthday, as a gift for myself
from potential abuse and crap, so I went
to my grandparent’s thinking they’d take
me. Didn’t give a shit about me.
JESSE
Then on I didn’t trust anyone
NIKKI
Ok, I had I rough time…..
JESSE
But you don’t have to have the same
luck I did! In fact, you have a better
opportunity, and you’re afraid of a
measly test?!
NIKKI
This isn’t one!
JESSE
You’re treating it like is! You can't find
anything out by hiding and dreaming! You
have to face whatever comes up!
NIKKI
It’s not easy to!
JESSE
But it’s better than wondering. Besides, I
have more if needed!
He walks out
SCENE ENDS
SCENE NINE
EXT. ---PARK---NIGHT (LATER)
SCOTT and DAVID walks at the park entrance
DAVID
…..Ooo I wanna stop here for a minute?!
SCOTT
Why does this place seem familiar?
DAVID
It’s the park stupid!
SCOTT
And we’re not going the play ball.
DAVID
No, I have to use the little boy’s room….
SCOTT
We’re less than a less from home you
never thought wait until then?
DAVID
I want to use it now!
SCOTT
Do you also have in ulcer too!
DAVID
When I have to go I’m gonna go I don’t
wait for non one or nothing!
SCOTT
Unfortunately I do!
DAVID
Oh you’ll be ok just sit here and wait.
Think of it this way, you’re doing this
for a good cause.
Walk to bathroom
SCOTT
Put a gun over my head!
He sits down, as seemingly all-male on goers passes by him making him more uncomfortable.
SCENE ENDS
SCENE TEN
INT. --- B'N'B LOBBY------ THAT NIGHT
ANTHONY tiredly finishes up then park at the sofa, GARY comes in sees him bushed.
GARY
What’s up, sport?!
ANTHONY
Pooped!
GARY
Ahh, you and Scotty had another session …
ANTHONY
Far from it! Was just finishing in here.
GARY
I see.
ANTHONY
Yep, had extra time… I was bored and
thought to give you guys some help in here…
GARY
That’s oddly nice of you!
ANTHONY
Yes, siree!
GARY
Very oddly of you! And why am I not
buying that?
ANTHONY
Dunno, you don’t want to…
GARY
So Scotty is doing fine…. I mean, he’s
not slacking off or anything?
ANTHONY
Uh, No...What are you getting at?
GARY
I can wonder about my favorite nephew?
since we’ve never spent much time since
you’ve been here.
ANTHONY
I’m at the Café and you’re killing to
birds….
GARY
Try twelve hundred and it feels like more!
No, it just seems unlike you to be worried
about stuff that’s gonna eventually be done.
ANTHONY
Just doing my part, you never know when
something may happen….
GARY
You foresee this trouble on the horizon
ANTHONY
Just…concerned! Ya know, you here
and your other venture and David with
his um….
GARY
With his what?
ANTHONY
Uh, Nothing!
GARY
Something going on you’re not telling!
ANTHONY
No, just that David’s being…David!
And I’m w-worried…about him and you!
GARY
Ok…you’re an odd kid, but we’re ok, I
Guess, other than a trip to the Cancun
wouldn’t cure…where is David
ANTHONY
He’s…out with Scott doing some…
Errands!
GARY
Errands, at quarter till ten!
ANTHONY
What can you say! David being David!
GREG walks in holding some papers
GREG
Camping out without s’mores?
GARY nervously looks over at him
ANTHONY
Just chilling? What’s up?!
GREG
Dropping off a few notes for class tomorrow
GARY gets up
GARY
Thanks, how was lunch?!
GREG
Lunch, we had the lobster and steak.
GARY
Must’ve been a New York porterhouse,
You didn’t come back!
GREG
Had some business at home that
needed to be finished, since everything
GARY
So is everything done?
GREG
More than it is at the office.
GARY
About that….
GREG
Don’t worry, I’m not gonna bother anymore
I’ll just come to work and leave…
GARY
Don’t be crazy, look,
GREG
It was more to that for me, but
GARY
See you in the morning?
GREG
Yeah...see ya in the morning!
He leaves, ANTHONY notice their expression, as he goes back to him
ANTHONY
Anything special?
GARY
Nothing, office business!
ANTHONY
SCENE ENDS
SCENE ELEVEN
EXT. ---PARK---NIGHT (LATER)
A fidgety SCOTT, finally goes into the dark small, bathroom looking for DAVID
He bumps into someone and has his ass felt as he walks into a sex orgy.
SCOTT V/O
Hey hands off!
MALE V/O
Excuse me Miss Thing, you’ll get
your turn!
SCOTT V/O
No thanks you
As he pass one another guy come up to him
MALE V/O
Hello baby!
SCOTT V/O
I don’t think so!
Pass him quickly as he bumps into DAVID
SCOTT
Did it all come out good?
Not recognizing him
DAVID
That depends on you…
DAVID (CONT'D)
H-honey, I said I was gonna be a minute!
SCOTT
Maybe longer than that from what I see!
Some emergency!
DAVID
This was just a spontaneous reaction…
SCOTT
You have literately have a room for this!
Make that several!
DAVID
You think I’m crazy enough to do it there!
SCOTT
No you just drag me here thinking I were
using it?!
DAVID
Which I am!
SCOTT
I mean…hey I told you no! Now go
somewhere, will ya?!
MALE V/O
No one is going anywhere!
Shines a flashlight followed by other flashlight and a group of undercover cops
apprehending the participants including SCOTT and DAVID.
SCENE ENDS
SCENE TWEVLE
INT. ---POLICE OFFICE--- THAT NIGHT
Both SCOTT and DAVID sit as a police cop writes there report.
SCOTT
Thanks a lot Davy!
DAVID
I wasn’t the one hollering like a banshee!
SCOTT
The guy was touching my ass!
DAVID
Like you never had your ass touched!
SCOTT
Not by a stranger in the park’s bathroom?!
DAVID
It wouldn’t have happened if you’d stayed
Outside and waited!
SCOTT
For what?! So you can bust your nuts while
I wait outside for how many hours….
DAVID
I was not gonna be that long!
SCOTT
Like I said you could’ve waited ‘till
You got home!
DAVID
I don’t wait to get what I want
SCOTT
No you just go out and make an ass
out of yourself and bring other people
down with you!
DAVID
Well it wouldn’t happen if you’d
just stay you were…
POLICE
Come on ladies you’ll have time to
Catch up on your girl talk after I’m
Finished!
DAVID
Well I hope you have the decency to
call Carla!
SCOTT
Why, she has enough children to deal
with!
DAVID
So we’re gonna sit here like two dirty
Convicts in this…
SCOTT
No I got someone coming!
DAVID
Who!
SCOTT
Oh, don’t worry it’s not Gary!
DAVID
I wasn’t worried about that, I just wanted
to know who!
SCOTT
Wouldn’t be the first time you didn’t
worry about him...or anyone else!
DAVID
And that suppose to imply….
SCOTT
Just what I said!
DAVID
Look, I will say this only one time
And one time only! I am a big boy
I can take care of myself, you or one
one don’t have to hold my hand!
SCOTT
You surely give a great example tonight!
ANTHONY walks in and talks to one of the officers who point them out
ANTHONY
You guys may wanna take up residency
here you’re here more times than a repeat
offender!
DAVID
Oh, thank god you came!
Hugs him
DAVID
Just you right?
ANTHONY
Me and four hundred dollars, there goes
my new convertible!
DAVID
I’ll get it back to ya, I swear?
ANTHONY
It’s cool, as long you guys are ok.
DAVID
As long as we’re getting out….
I’m heavenly
SCOTT
Speak for yourself!
DAVID
Oh, he’s just a little riffled…I had to
explain some
ANTHONY
Well, we may have to wait on getting out
they have to work out some…they say
you guys are in for lewd behavior….
DAVID
Which was a misunderstanding….even the
men in uniform can't resist me.
SCOTT rolls his eyes and shakes his head
DAVID
And don’t worry poor ole Scottie just
came in at the wrong time….
SCOTT
Yeah, I should’ve stayed home!
ANTHONY
It would be long….
SCOTT
Thank god! (To POLICE), bathroom please!
The police nods and he goes to bathroom
DAVID
After this, I’m going home to take a long
bath, did you finish ?
ANTHONY
Yeah,
DAVID
I knew auntie can always depend on
her nephews!
SCENE ENDS
SCENE THIRTEEN
INT. --- GREG(S OFFICE(DAYTIME
GARY walks by his office sees him working, feeling a little guilty, he enters.
GREG
How’s it going, partner?
GARY
Just uh, checking on you.
GREG
I’m good.
GARY
Well, that’s great!
GREG
Yep, it is.
(Beat)
GARY
Awesome….so, no problem one sense…
GREG
Didn’t we discuss this last night…..
GARY
No, not that…J.Bucks.
GREG
That! I’m still here, unfortunately, they
Are too…I know it’s get better?!
GARY
It always does!
GREG
Other than that I’m doing...swell!
GARY
Groovy!
(Beat)
GARY
Davy’s got into a little trouble but
And knowing him….
GREG
Ole Davy!
GARY
Doesn’t learn! I’m worried about him
He’s been…well out of the weather
Than the usual ole Davy.
GREG
Sorry to hear that. But as you say many
Times, you have to love him like a puppy.
GARY
Yeah…
(Beat)
GARY
We all love dogs!
Laughs awkwardly
GARY
Had a nice time with Leah?!
GREG
Look, I’m busy right now, come
back later, will ya?!
GARY
Yeah, sorry man!
About to leave stands and look back at him
GARY
I really don’t want a puppy!
Goes to him and kisses him
SCENE ENDS
INT. ---THE CAFE ---DAYTIME
DAVID sits chatting with patrons and JESSE who is behind, as usual. ANTHONY rushes in
JESSE
Don’t worry you’re five minutes early!
Like you could tell
ANTHONY
Yeah and I want to eat before I get in?
DAVID
Why didn’t you go to MacDonald’s?
ANTHONY
Afternoon traffic in Atlanta?!
DAVID
Scottie didn’t make anything?
ANTHONY
It’s hard for him to make breakfast or lunch
if he’s didn’t get up until one! Luckily I did
some work so he won’t be behind!
JESSE
You didn’t try to cook!
ANTHONY
No I called some catering services!
DAVID
It’s not good workin’ skills on his part!
You know what they say, early to bed
and early to rise make a man healthy
wealthy and mine!
JESSE
I don’t remember B.F. have that in mind.
DAVID
Who’s talkin’ about Benji I’m talkin about
me!
ANTHONY
What’s new?
DAVID
What’s the matter? Everything covered!
ANTHONY
And wouldn’t have to if he’d stayed home
last night.
JESSE
Yeah, I heard you played jailbird, again.
To bad I wasn’t there.
DAVID
Would’ve been better company. That
Husband of your was winding like a
Baby…..
ANTHONY
Could understand and he’s not my husband!
DAVID
You must’ve had a big one afterwards last
night….
ANTHONY
We were too tired to look at each other
Besides I’m hungry!
DAVID
I thought everything all well and done?
ANTHONY
For last night maybe but right I’m
too busy to care!
DAVID
I hope I didn’t make you upset!
ANTHONY
No, you’re pissing me for along with
a lot people, so if you don’t let me
place my order.
DAVID
I don’t know what you’re husband or
whatever you want to call him told
you, but I’m to blame for everything!
ANTHONY
No one told me anything a dumb and
blind person can see what you’re
problem is!
DAVID
I don’t have a problem!
ANTHONY
No but everyone gets fucked up around
you! If you can't see that then I feel sorry
for you!
He leaves, bumps into CARLA who just enters
CARLA
Did I miss something?
DAVID
No, sweetie, but somebody else missed
some sleep!
JESSE
Late lunch crowd, as usual.
DAVID
Let me finish my little punch and
get going. It seems I’m getting to
be a jinx for some people!
JESSE
So we should call you lucky black
cat!
DAVID
Blue velvet maybe! But that may
fuck someone up even more.
CARLA
What you have on is fine.
DAVID
If you weren’t expecting…
CARLA
I’m not! What would you do?
DAVID
She chickened out again!
CARLA
No I’m not carrying!
JESSE
She’s taking the test.
CARLA
I hope she is or was for the last hour
DAVID
Ooo, we’re gonna have a baby
JESSE
And if I’m not!
CARLA
Let’s not talk about that!
DAVID
This like New Years Eve in time square
Only small southern lesbian bar, and it’s
May!
NIKKI drags in DAVID, CARLA and JESSE catches her expression
DAVID
Shot, I am bad luck!
CARLA
Lord, Jess get a pint of JD. Make that
Two!
NIKKI
Why to hurt your baby?
DAVID
Oh my lord! I’m an auntie!
They hug her.
JESSE
Time like this I wish I had some Cubans.
DAVID
Me too and some Mexicans and a few
Argentines.
JESSE
Here, take!
Hands him another drink
JESSE
In fact everyone gets one!
He calls out ANTHONY, who comes out
JESSE
(To NIKKI)
Here!
JESSE
Don’t worry, if he has my blood he’ll
be ok!
All celebrate
THE END
We’re Half Way There…
Episode Eleven: The Test
By Bryant Mclemore
1