Lil Muffin Boy's Friend - Charlie the Friendly Orc

<--- Here's a picture of Muffin Boy's good friend Charlie. Charlie is an accomplished warrior and diplomat for the usually barbaric and uneducated orcish hordes. Charlie is well spoken and versed in many forms of literature - his favorite being poetry. He's also quite wealthy, as you can probably tell from his pimpin' threads. He's extrememly skilled with a halberd. In fact, see that dead rat beside Charlie? He KILLED that rat all by HIMSELF! So don't think you can just put the smack-down lickety split on this fella. To put it simply - he's the cat's pajamas.

INTERVIEW WITH AN ORC By: Percius Mercius

A warrior's life is never easy. Take it from me, I've been in the Figher's Guild for ages now. I've travled the length of the Sheogorad Region and visited to tiniest Ascadian Isles. I've plundered the ugliest caverns and slew many a cliff racer. It's always tiring, difficult work....and you make few friends along the way. Charlie is an anomaly in this regard. He's friendly, well-liked, and terribly good at poker. Yet he can also rip your arms off and decapitate you like nobody's business! A few eves ago I invited Charlie to come to Ald'Ruhn and down a few ales with me. The following are excerpts from my conversation with this living legend.....

PM - So I've been wondering, Charlie, how did you come to our small island of Vvardenfell? C - Well, you see Mister Mercius, it's like this. I was born to some skooma addicted worthless rabble. After I did the world a favor and slew all of them, I poured myself a cup o' joe and sat down to decide what I wanted to do with my life. I resolved to become a diplomat and save the orcish race from it's self. So I'm traveling throughout Tamriel trying to give orcs the good name they deserve. PM - Fascinating. Truly brilliant vison you have there. Ah...so tell me, how did you get so educated? C - I found a lovely library in eastern Daggerfall- but they wouldn't allow orcs in. So after killing everyone in the place and stuffing them into wheelbarrows, I studied day and night for 50 days. I emerged the WISEST ORC IN TAMRIEL!!!!!

PM - Uhh...okay....maybe you should take it easy on the ale, eh? Heheh...anyway I admire your strength and determination. I've been wondering what is with your unusual set of armor you wear? C - (slams fist on table) YOU NO LIKEY ME GHETTO SAMURAI ARMOR? PM - No! I mean yes! I mean I love the armor! B-but how did you come a-across such a diverse range of pieces.... C - Oh, yes well, I specially designed this suit to provide maximum protection while still allowing easy movement and a lightweight feel. I've contracted with a smith in Balmora and I'm now selling  replicas of this suit for aspiring warriors who want an affordable alternative to steel or iron armor. Pretty soon my Ghetto Samurai business will expand to other areas too.We already have outlets in Sentinel and Wayrest and are working towards more. PM - Very impressive! (mumbles) ...as his ego expands....so does his ego..... C - Do you forget that orcs have extremely good hearing? PM - (pause) Why yes....ahh....I'm aware of that. W-why do you ask? C - I don't like insults. Everyone is always insulting orcs. I. DON'T. LIKE. INSULTS. PM - No insult....j-just a joke!!! C - You bloody Imperials! DIE!!!! (Percius later recovered from the assault and is living in Ald'Ruhn writing a book about his life.)