You see, it all began a few weeks ago, when our team captain and star point guard, Janet Harrison (who's also my girlfriend), got undercut going in for a fast-break layup in our first league game at Carter High. Janet wound up with three fractures in her left leg, meaning she would be out for the rest of her senior season. Coach Thorne nearly blew a gasket when he saw her go down, but at least the refs called an intentional foul. The league should have suspended No. 23 of Carter (I don't remember her name—sorry!), but they didn't. Coach Thorne nearly blew another gasket when our A.D., Mr. Glenn, told him of the league's decision. Mr. Glenn said he'd voted for at least a three-game suspension, and even showed my videotape (I'm the video guy), but the other A.D.'s said they couldn't see any intent to injure. How can you see one gal break another's leg without seeing intent to do something?
Anyway, we won two easy games against the two worst teams in the league, St. Francis and Cooper Creek, without Janet. Janet tried to "coach" her replacements, and in fact did work out a couple of plays whereby Myra Kendall would dribble in, look to take a seventeen-foot jumper, or, if the defense collapsed on her, lob the ball to our sophomore center, Stacy Chadwick, who can shoot if no one's around her. Coach preferred to have Janet keep stats on the opposing players rather than having another assistant coach on the sidelines.
But now, to last Monday's game. Janet was wearing a long black skirt that almost reached the floor. She had on a white slip underneath (this is going to mean something in a minute). During the middle of the third quarter, with the score tied at 32, Janet started rubbing her cast. I figured she was calling out a play in a way that Coach would not notice (like some sort of secret signal), but Janet told me afterward that her leg was simply starting to itch. I guess that can happen when you wear a cast for a couple of weeks. Anyway, I guess I wasn't the only one noticing Janet. One of the referees must have noticed something in the corner of his eye, and seen a lot more of Janet's cast than he ever expected, along with much of her slip. He evidently took his concentration away from the game for a second or two, just when Myra stole the ball, knocking the opposing player down on her butt, and bounce-passed it to Stacy, who made an easy layup. Miller Valley's coach had a fit, and quickly picked up two T's and a trip to the locker room. Then the assistant coach got a T for making a choke sign; after that, she threw a fit, and got sent off. She then threw her jacket on the floor, getting her team a delay-of-game warning. Then she grabbed a ballbag and threw its contents out on the floor, and the referees forfeited the contest, 34-32, our favor. One of the spectators from M.V. (who had been sitting a few rows down from me) came down and told the coach something; the coach grabbed the p.a. mike and yelled something about the ref being a sex pervert who likes looking up skirts. (It was hard to hear because of backfeed in the mike, but I've got it on the audio part of the videotape.) Then, the coach ran over to Julie, practically knocking her off her crutches, and accused her of trying to flash at the refs; soon, some of the M.V. fans were doing likewise. Julie's dad&mash;a huge man—came over and reminded them that Julie was still a minor, and that the problem, if there was one, was the ref's, not Julie's.
Julie promised Coach Thorne she wouldn't wear the long skirt again, but she's told me she has a couple of minis that she'll have on for games in the next couple of weeks. Don't tell anyone; it's supposed to be a surprise.