The group sat in the room, staring everywhere else but at each other. Lance looked at the other three, his expression determined.
“I’m not doing this again. I’m not putting myself through the pain and anger. There were days I felt like my heart was gone, this ragged hole in my chest because of what you did. If it starts again and we don’t solve it, I’m leaving.”
At his words, JC, Chris, and Joey looked up in alarm. Justin leaned back against the couch, having heard the words before.
“Hey, man, it won’t…” The older man started to speak, but Lance just held up a hand
“I’m just telling you. If it starts again, and we don’t work through it, I’m gone. I can’t take the devastation, and now that I have BJ and Brennan, I won’t let myself be eaten up like that. I love you, guys, but I won’t do this again.”
JC swallowed and looked at Justin, almost afraid of what his boyfriend was going to say. “J, what about you?”
Justin sat up and looked at his friends before looking down at the clasped hands in front of him. “Part of me feels like this is my fault. I’m the one stuck in front, I’m the one who is being touted as being the front man. I thought you knew better—that you guys knew it wasn’t Justin and the Pips.”
Joey closed his eyes. Chris looked out the window. JC sighed.
“To be honest, I felt betrayed that you bought into that shit they were peddling. I have *never*, *ever* treated you guys as if you were any less important to our success. And I will say that my pain also had to do with JC and what he was going through and the fact that I couldn’t tell him how I felt. That part was my responsibility, and I’m sorry for any distance it caused and made you think I didn’t care.” He looked up at his friends, lingering on JC.
“I believe in us, in what we do, and I don’t want it to end like this. I know we won’t go on forever, but I don’t think we have to kill it either. We have to talk, we have to remember that we love each other, and we have to remember that we can do anything when we stick together.”
He finished speaking and sat back, Lance patting his leg in agreement. The older blond looked over. “I think it’s your turn now.”
JC looked at the other two then took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for not seeing how much pain you were in; I was just too lost in my own. And when I did see it, it was too late. I wish I had the balls to come out earlier. I wish I hadn’t laughed at you, Lance. I wish, more than anything, that I hadn’t gone to the club that night. But I did, and it’s done, and now I have to find a way to forgive myself for what I did to you. You said you’ve forgiven us, and I thank you for that. Now, we have to figure out how to move on and use this experience as a way to make us stronger.”
Justin nodded, smiling gently at his boyfriend. Chris cleared his throat, his fingertips pressing under his eyes as if to stop tears.
“I fucked up. I let myself believe what Lisa and the others were saying, thinking I was a god or something because I was in *N Sync. I let them hurt you, and that just kills me because I promised myself when we started I wouldn’t let anyone do that.” His head dipped, and he took a deep breath.
“I don’t know why you’d forgive me. If it were me, I’d make me pay through the nose for hurting you. Maybe that’s why you’re better men than I am. I do love you. You’re family, my brothers, and I will do my damnedest not to screw it up again. Feel free to kick me in the ass if it even remotely looks like I’m doing it.”
JC wrapped an arm around the shorter man, squeezing him. Chris gulped as he regained his composure. Joey leaned back against the sofa, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling. When he lowered it, he looked at the two men opposite him.
“I don’t have a good reason for what I did. I wasn’t confused about my sexuality, I wasn’t even really thinking about the whole backup thing. I wanted Lisa. She was hot, she was fantastic in bed, and that was it. She wouldn’t let me anywhere near her until I had listened to her shit, and then she’d put out. In all the years we’ve been doing this, I *never* let sex get in the way of us. I’m ashamed of myself for that, and I have to figure out,” Joey nodded to JC, “how to forgive myself for fucking up my family for a piece of ass. She wasn’t worth it, and it took a good talk from my mom to really see Lisa for who she was. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry that I laughed and dismissed your concerns. You’ve always had my best interests at heart, and I let you down. It’s going to take a long time before I can look at you and not feel this pain in my heart. I don’t know if I deserve your forgiveness, but I thank you for it. I love you, guys.”
Chris initiated the group hug, standing up and pulling Justin off the sofa. The two men cried softly as the others joined them, their tears mingling as they held each other close. After several minutes, JC pulled back and reached for a tissue, handing them out to everyone. Chris looked around at the wet faces.
“We look like shit.”
“But I feel better.” Lance grinned as he wiped his nose.
“Yeah, me, too.” Joey nodded, bumping shoulders with his friend.
“I’m hungry.” Justin smiled as he wadded up his Kleenex.
“I think I hear the refrigerator calling my name.” Joey headed for the door, holding it open for everyone to exit.
BJ was stirring a pot of vegetable soup as they trooped in. Lance walked behind her and hugged her close. Lifting her hand, she pressed it against his cheek before leaning in to kiss him.
“Better?” She murmured the word as the others dug through the refrigerator and the cabinets looking for snacks.
“Much.” He smiled and returned her kiss before joining his friends.
**~~**
Lance was reading the newspaper, a cup of coffee on the table next to him when Justin entered the kitchen.
“Hey. BJ said you wanted to talk to me?” He sat down at the table and reached for an apple from the bowl in front of him.
The older man smiled and laid his paper to the side. “Yeah, I do. I wanted to know if you’d be my best man.”
Justin stopped in mid bite, his eyes wide as he looked at his friend. Lance tried not to laugh at the apple still stuck in the other man’s mouth. Finishing his bite and swallowing, he grinned.
“I’d be honored to be your best man. When’s the wedding?”
“We’re thinking the 10th of August.”
Justin almost fell over. “What? That’s less than a month away. Where are you going to have it? What about invitations? What about food and music and clothes?”
“Calm down, J. We’re planning on having it at that little church on Westin Street. I talked to the minister, and that day is free. BJ and I are going to talk to him next week for the pre-marriage conference. Giuseppe said he would cater it and knows someone who can do the cake. C said he would burn a CD of some good music for the reception.” Lance smiled after he spoke then took another sip of coffee.
The young man sighed and then grinned. “Shoulda known you’d have it under control. What can I do to help?”
The two men went over Lance’s list, chuckles drifting from the kitchen.
**~~**
BJ tapped the phone in her hand then dialed the number.
{Hello?}
“Dad? It’s BJ.”
{Hey, girl. How are you doing? I only hear bits and pieces from Nick or the kids. Where are you?}
“I’m in Virginia. Um, well, I’m getting married, and I wanted you to come and give me away.”
There was a long silence, and BJ closed her eyes to stop the tears.
{I don’t know if I can do that, what with your mother and all. She’s here now, with the kids. When is it?}
“August 10th. It’s a Friday. I really wanted you and the kids to be there.”
{Nick coming?}
“Yes, he’ll be here.”
{What about Meredith?}
“Yes. Can you please try, Dad? I’d really like you here.”
{I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises. Wanna talk to anyone? Your mom took Aaron out for some publicity stuff.}
“I’d like to talk to Les and Ang.”
There was a shuffle and a muffled shout as Bob called for his other daughters. Moments later, BJ heard their voices.
{Hey, BJ.} {Hey, big sis!}
“Hey. What’s going on?” BJ brightened at the sound of her sisters.
{Just hanging on the beach, getting some sun. What about you?} Leslie giggled.
“Well, I’m getting married on August 10th. I asked Dad if he could come up with you guys.”
The two girls squealed into the phone, and BJ laughed.
{Is it Lance? What about the baby?} Angel finally stopped cheering long enough to ask.
“Yes, it’s Lance, and he’s looking forward to being a daddy.” As she spoke, BJ rubbed slow circles across her belly.
{Wow! I’m so excited for you, Beej. What are you wearing? Who’re your bridesmaids? Where’s the wedding?} Leslie’s questions tumbled one over another.
“I don’t know what I’m wearing yet. Something cool, definitely. I don’t really have any bridesmaids unless you guys get to come up. The wedding is here in Emerald Point.”
{Why does Emerald Point sound so familiar?}
“Nick’s Navy training? I’m staying in Meredith’s house.”
BJ could hear shouting on the other end of the phone. Angel groaned. {Mom’s back. Can we tell Aaron?}
“Sure, but I wouldn’t mention it to anyone else if I were you.”
{We’ll try to get up there, but if we can’t just know that we love you and we’re very happy for you.} Leslie sighed into the phone.
“I love you, too. Be good.”
{Bye.} {Bye!}
“Bye.” BJ clicked off the phone and laid it on the table.
“Hey.”
She looked up to see Lance standing in the doorway. Trying to smile, she beckoned him with her fingers. When he was next to her, she leaned forward to rest her forehead against his belly. He brushed his hands over her hair.
“How’d it go?” His voice was a rumble against her skin.
“Dad doesn’t know if he can make it up here with the kids.”
“Damn.” He tilted her head up and leaned forward to press a kiss to her lips. “I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. But Nick will be here, and Mom, and your family, and it’ll be good.” She tried to broaden her grin but didn’t feel she succeeded very well.
Lance tugged on her hands, pulling her out of the chair. When she stood, he wrapped his arms around her fully. “It’s going to be wonderful because you’re there and I’m there and Brennan will be there, kicking madly no doubt.”
They laughed as the baby kicked against Lance’s stomach. “I love you, BJ, and I know you want your family to be there to celebrate but I won’t let you be hurt.”
BJ kissed him gently, rubbing his chest with her fingers. “Thank you, baby. We’re going to have a great day, damnit!”
They both laughed as they parted and walked out of the office.
**~~**
“Yes, ma’am. No, ma’am. If not me, then someone will be there. Okay. Love you. Bye.” Lance clicked off the phone and sighed.
“Everything settled with your parents?” BJ sat down on the sofa, a glass of milk and a couple of cookies in her hands.
“Yep. They’ll be here on the 5th, ready to meet their new daughter-in-law and grandson.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and accepted the cookie bite she held to his lips.
“They’ve been really nice on the phone. I can’t wait to meet them.” She took a sip of milk to wash down the chocolate cookie.
“When’s your side of the church arriving?”
“They should be here on the 8th. That 4-day stretch of free time is a blessing.” BJ leaned against Lance and sighed in pleasure.
“Pastor Johnson called this morning and said we could get in early on the 9th and do some decorating.”
She smiled. “Irene asked about that, and I told her she could do what she wanted. You don’t mind, do you?”
He shook his head. “No. She’ll do a good job.”
They were silent for several minutes.
“I can’t believe it’s almost here.” BJ turned and rested her cheek on Lance’s shoulder.
“Me either.” He rubbed her back slowly. “I feel like I’ve been working up to this my whole life.”
She tilted her head back and stared at him, seeing the love in his eyes and the smile on his lips. Chuckling, she rose and pressed a kiss against his jaw.
“You’re such a romantic.”
“Yep.” He tightened his grip as they relaxed on the sofa.
**~~**
JC leaned against the wall at the airport, mulling over how much his life had changed during the past month. He smiled, as he always did, when his thoughts drifted to Justin. When he heard the luggage conveyor belt moving, he looked up to see Jim and Diane Bass heading towards him, Stacy and Ford not far behind. He stepped forward, accepting Diane’s hug.
“Hey. How was your trip?”
“Good.”
They moved to pick up bags, and JC led them to the Expedition. After making sure everything was stowed safely in the back, JC watched as everyone climbed into the vehicle. He started the engine and headed for the house.
“So, what were Lance and BJ doing when you left?” Stacy leaned forward from the back seat.
“Arguing.”
“What?” Diane leaned forward as well.
“Well, Lance really wants to cover everything in roses, and BJ is trying to simplify.” JC grinned into the rearview mirror.
“My brother is going overboard?” The young woman chuckled.
JC just shook his head. “You have no idea. He’d fly in the London Symphony Orchestra if BJ’d let him.”
The other four just laughed. It wasn’t long before they pulled into the garage. JC turned off the engine and clicked the unlock button. Joey walked out and smiled, hugging the ladies.
“Hey, how was your trip?”
“Good, Joey.” Jim shook the other man’s hand, as did Ford. Diane and Stacy smiled and then stood aside as the men picked up luggage.
The six of them walked in to find Justin and Chris sitting at the kitchen table watching Lance and BJ as they prepared to bake their cake.
“Are you sure you don’t want the 4-tiered cake? It was beautiful. Tasted pretty good, too.” Lance turned off the mixer.
“We don’t need that much cake, babe. Two tiers are fine. Audra found those flowers you wanted as the topper.” BJ finished greasing the pans, setting them next to the mixing bowl.
“Well, if you’re sure. I just want you to have it the way you want it.” He poured batter into the pans.
BJ leaned against his back, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I know you do, and I appreciate it. But really, as long as you’re there, it’ll be the way I want it.”
He patted her hand for a moment. “Shift back, sweetheart.”
BJ moved back, and Lance slid the pans into the oven. When he stood, he wiped his hands on a towel and turn to face the table, catching sight of his family.
“Hey!” He came around the counter to wrap his arms around his mother then his father. He hugged his sister and brother-in-law, smiling brightly.
Turning, he held out his hand to BJ, who stepped forward. “Mom, Dad, Stacy, Ford, *this* is BJ.”
BJ smiled. “It’s so nice to finally meet you face to face.”
Diane stepped forward, wrapping the young woman in a hug. BJ was stunned for a moment then held on tightly as she tried to fight back tears. Jim took her next, chuckling softly as one escaped. Stacy and Ford both hugged her before Lance pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Resting his hands on her belly, he patted it softly.
“And this is Brennan.”
Diane smiled at her new daughter. “May I?”
BJ nodded, and Diane pressed her hand against the fullness, her smile broadening as the baby kicked. “That’s quite a little kicker you’ve got there.”
Lance and BJ laughed. He smiled as Stacy moved over to feel the kicks. “Yeah, he is. Loves nothing more than waking BJ in the middle of the night.”
JC and Joey returned from putting luggage in the bedrooms. JC smiled at everyone. “Jim, we put you and Diane in the last bedroom, Stacy and Ford the one right before it.”
“Thank you, JC.” Diane smiled. “It’s nice to see all of you back in the same room and happy.”
Chris snorted. “Yeah, no thanks to us. But we’re good now, and no matter how much it hurt, the separation did some good.”
“What are you baking, baby brother?” Stacy took a seat at the table.
“Milk chocolate cake. It’s one of Irene’s recipes.”
The young woman nodded, having heard the name several times over the past few months in relation to Meredith. “When are they coming in?”
BJ sat down as well. “On the 8th. They have a 4-day break, so everyone’s coming in then.”
“Do we need to move to a hotel?” Diane looked at her son.
Justin spoke up. “No, we’re moving to a hotel that morning so that Meredith and AJ will have a place to stay. Everyone else will be at the hotel with us. It’s good.”
The rest of the afternoon was taken up with family gossip and FreeLance updates. Chris and Joey made dinner, grilling steaks outside. The group sat around the formal dining room and talked for a while before Justin and JC cleaned up the dishes. Dessert was served in the den as soft music played.
When people started yawning, Lance smiled. “Looks like it’s time for bed.”
He helped BJ off the sofa, and they hugged his family before heading off to their room. Joey headed down the hall, followed by Stacy and Ford. He pointed out their bedroom and then disappeared into his own. Diane and Jim walked down the hall, followed by Justin and JC.
“Is this it?” She looked at the door.
JC nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Goodnight.”
“Night, boys.” Jim nodded as he and his wife disappeared into their room.
Justin grinned and pulled JC into their room. “Alone at last.”
JC just chuckled as he watched his boyfriend strip down to bare skin, admiring the thick erection. “Been waiting long?”
“You have no idea.” Justin breathed out the words as JC reached down and slowly stroked the heated shaft. “Too many clothes.” He gasped out then frowned as the other man stopped touching him to remove his own clothes.
“Now, where was I?”
Justin’s answer was lost as JC claimed his mouth, swallowing the gasp created when he tugged on the young man’s cock. They kept it quiet, although knowing other people were not far away was a turn-on for them.
When Justin arched and came, JC watched the play of emotions across his boyfriend’s face. Bringing his hand to his mouth, he licked his fingers. Justin opened his eyes to watch, narrowing them slightly.
“That is so fucking sexy.” He growled the words right before he pushed JC onto his back and licked down his chest.
The smile on JC’s face was erased by a moan as Justin swallowed his cock and sucked hard. He didn’t last long, the insistent mouth and tantalizing licks sending his body into orgasm. They laid there on the bed, sticky and sweaty, smiling at each other.
The older man reach over and grabbed a baby wipe from the box they kept on the nightstand and quickly wiped their skin. He tossed it into the garbage can and wrapped his arms around his lover.
“I love you.”
Justin sighed, snuggling against the warm chest behind him. “I love you, too.”
Sleep came easily to them.
Table of Contents
Chapter Five