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| This page is purely to entertain you. Here you can read your humorsope. Feel free to sign the guestbook with suggestions and comments. |
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| Humorscopes By: Alli |
| Aries (March 21-April 20)- You have been under a lot of stress lately and it shows. However, you can't afford to fall behind in your classes. Put a paper bag over your head and write, "Under Construction" on it. Don't forget to leave air holes. |
| Leo (July23-August 23)- There are some days when you just have to realize that in this world you have a choice between being clever and being pleasant. I recommend pleasant. |
| Taurus (April 21-May 21)- You may be drinking a little bit too much coffee lately. That could explain why everyone else is moving so slowly or why they say, "What was THAT?" in an extremely slow, deep voice every time you walk by. |
| Gemini (May 22-June 21)- You will finally find your spirit guide today and your life will take on new meaning. Unfortunately for you, your spirit guide will turn out to have a sense of humor and you will end up taking an oath of silence for the rest of your life. |
| Cancer (June22-July 22)- You will go on a boat ride sometime in the near future and fish that look like furry rabbits will attack your baot and overturn it, causing you to have a Titanic-like experience. To avoid this, don't get in a boat. Ever. |
| Virgo (August 24-September 22)- You feel nervous and edgy because you don't know what to do with all your energy. You should attempt to start a Tae-Bo club at school so you can disperse your energy to the benefit of others. Just try not to hurt anyone in your crazy attempts. |
| Libra (September 23-October 22)- Your ego might flare up in a few days, causing all your teamwork skills to go out the window. You will try to take on a huge end-of-the-year assignment yourself and fail miserably. Maybe you should relax. |
| Scorpio (October 23-November 21)- Watch your temper. The people whom you rage against probably don't deserve it. The more moderate you are, the better your chances of enjoying yourself in the next few days. All the people you yelled at won't talk to you until next week. |
| Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)- Chaos will ensue when you are accidently hit by a bus full of lawyer specializing in insurance claims. The bus will erupt into a crowded mass of clawing, briefcase-bashing lunatics. A cop will see and give you a citation for disturbing the peace. |
| Capricorn (December 22-January 20)- You will finally find your soul mate and fall head-over-heels in love. However, your dog will attack him/her, forever dashing any chances of a long-term relationship. Better luck next time. |
| Aquarius (January 21-February 19)- Your fantasy, you know, the one where you are on a beautiful Caribbean Island, being fanned by natives and waited on hand and foot by gorgeous island people, is still just a dream, no matter what you achieve. Sorry. |
| Pisces (February 20-March 20)- Stay perfectly still. There's a BIG insect crawling up your leg, right now, just as you're reading this. Slowly and carefully get up. Now, without being too obvious, scream at the top of your lungs, and douse yourself in water. |