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Freaky Friday
(Reviewed July 24, 2003)
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Cute-as-a-button Lindsay Lohan does an absolutely uncanny (if not disturbing) job of channeling Frankie "Malcolm in the Middle" Muniz in this disappointingly stupid remake of the old Disney flick of the
same name. Lohan, who was so great playing both twins in the remake of "The Parent Trap" a few years back, plays a sloppy Lavigne-teen who switches bodies with tight-assed mom Jamie Lee Curtis after
they eat weird fortune cookies. (Just go with it.) Unfortunately, instead of smartening up the story this time around to give it some edge (or at least to put it in something vaguely resembling the real world), the script is only
slightly above the intellectual level of a bad "Saved by the Bell" episode.
One other thing thing about the script: For all I know (and I'm certainly not going to waste the time to find out), this retread may have been typed by a 19-year-old Hollywood prodigy snot...but it is so relentlessly
unhip it feels as if it were written by a clueless old fart who hasn't talked to a teen in decades. A piece of dialog about how two characters don't like the White Stripes because the group should "get a bass
player, already" falls so flat it was like hearing Sinatra knock the Beatles. Your first reaction will be, "Are these people supposed to be idiots?"
The most basic thing wrong with this "Freaky Friday," however, is the fact that Lindsay Lohan is very, um, mature for her age. Translation: This girl looks enough like a woman that Mark
Harmon (who plays Jamie Lee Curtis's fiancee here--man, talk about getting the bad end of that matrimonial deal!) could quite believably want to hook up with her when Jamie moves into her ripe teenage body.
Since this is a Disney flick, of course, there's no chance of that happening--even though the reverse does occur (namely, Lindsay in her mom's middle-aged body goes on a flirtaciously romantic date with a teenage
boy). There's a brief shot of Lindsay's impressive cleavage at the end of the movie, when she is in a slinky, body-hugging gown at the reception, that only drives the point home: This girl is an absolute knockout.
Imagine how much wilder a movie this would have been if Lindsay's soon-to-be-stepdad had started making creepy moves on her; and if Jamie Lee had given it up to the teenage biker at a rave orgy; and if grandpa had kidnapped one of Lindsay's friends, dragged her home, and forced her and grandma to eat a couple more of those far-out fortune cookies so he could get his tired old rocks off. Freaky, indeed!
Back Row Grade: D
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