1. If you throw a cat out of a car window at 90 mph, at what point does it become kitty litter?
2. If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
3. If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
4. When a cow laughs, does milk come up its nose?
5. Why do they put braille on the number pads of the drive-through bank machine?
6. How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
7. If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get it to stick to a pan?
8. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
9. What's another word for thesaurus?
10. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
11. What do they use to ship styrofoam in?
12. Why is abbreviati
>
>
> What do you expect from such simple creatures!?
> Your last name stays put.
> The garage is all yours.
> Wedding plans take care of themselves.
> Chocolate is just another snack.
> You can be president.
> You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
> Car mechanics tell you the truth.
> The world is your urinal.
>You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too
> icky.
> Same work, more pay.
> Wrinkles add character.
> Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
> People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
> The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
> New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
> One mood, ALL the time.
> Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
> You know stuff about tanks.
> A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
> You can open all your own jars.
> You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your
> friend.
> Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
> Everything on your face stays its original color.
> Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
> You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
> You almost never have strap problems in public.
> You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
> The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
> You don't have to shave below your neck.
> Your belly usually hides your big hips.
> One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
> You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
> You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
> You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45
> minutes.
>
