DEGRASSI

Last update: December 6, 2003

"Everybody wants something they'll take your money....."

"Everybody wants something, they'll never give up."

CHARACTERS

JOEY JEREMIAH

LUCY FERNANDEZ

Lucy was one hip chick. She wore a funky bandana and looked like Jimmy Hendrix. She loved filming stuff, and the cool band "Savage". One time, she hid in a recycling bin just to see them. She was almost molested by some teacher, but Wheel's came to her rescue. She also made a film called "It Creeps". She got real made when people laughed at it instead of being scared. Lucy also had the best parties. I think Spike got pregnant at one of them, they'll that good! In "Schools out" she went driving with Wheels, who was drunk (insert gasps!) and he crashed and she went blind. God has cursed her I think, and her friend L.D. Boy was she ugly.

The coolest kid on Degrassi street. Joey had it rough, not only did the love of his life have epilepsy, but he had a learning disorder. He was also 1/3 and the keyboardist of the hit band called "The Zit Remedy" (later "The Zits") They only had one song, which sucks because they rocked. He also was Duane's bitch. Duane dropped water condoms on Joey's head. Then Duane got H.I.V. Better luck next time. Joey was also a "ladies man". Not only did he fuck tessa but he stole Caitlin's virginity! Tessa got pregnant and had an abortion. I don't blame her, the baby probably would have been born wearing a fedora. Joey was also a prostitute. He ran naked through the caffeteria and Alexa popped a boner.

MELANIE BRODIE

SPIKE

Even though Stephanie was a slut, she never got pregnant. Spike on the other hand, did. Spike was my favorite, I mean just look at her hair. She got knocked by Shane in junior high and had a girl named Emma. Her bestfriend was a skinhead chick named Liz. I think Liz was a lesbo and hand a boner for Spike. She doesn't get child suport anymore because Shane jumped off a bridge. Pogues is her favorite band and was always seen wearing their t-shirts. Patrick the fogeign kid wrote a song about her. She's on that new degrassi show with her daughter, but it just isn't the same.

Melanie was such a retard. She stuffed her bra and stole twenties from her mom's purse. She had an annoying voice and hung out with Ugly Kathleen. She had a thing for Snake too. They dated a few times but it was short lived. In high school, her and Kathleen got tied to the flag pole with women's underwear on them. This one time, Melanie got really stoned and blabbed about how Kathleen has problems. Oh Melanie, you'll never get boobies that way.

STEPHANIE KAYE

ARTHUR

I never really liked Arthur. No way was he related to Stephanie, he looked too much like his cousin Dorothy anyway. She was also ugly. He lived with his dad and Stephanie lived with his mom. They won the lotto and moved away. He hung out with Yick and together they got trapped in a broom closet, and watched porn called "Swap Sex Robots". Arthur also has real ugly fair. I think he was jewish because his last name was real long and ended with "Ski".

All the way with Stephanie Kaye. She was Degrassi's slut-bag. She was also Arthur's big sis. Did I mention she was a slut bag? Her mom won the lotto and sent her to a boarding school. She kinda vanished once high school came along. She once debated on weather she jump off a bridge. Hasn't she met Shane? bridge + jumping = retard who kick people in the head.

L.D.

CAITLIN RYAN

Can you say UGLY? Because I can, L.D. Damn she was ugly. Just when you thought god couldn't be any meaner, he gives her cancer. She even had to wear a wig because your hair ran away from your ugly face. She also talked with a lisp. What an ugly. She was also a tomboy to the max and helped her dad as a machanic. She mom died when she was young. I bet she killed herself because her daughter was so ugly. L.D. left the show sometime in high school. They claim that her dad sold the shop and they bought a boat. I bet she ran off with Sinead O'Conner.

In junior high, Caitlin was a punk rocker with short hair and a bandana. Then high school came and she was all "save the whales" and dated Claude. He got her involved in the "hardcore" charity crap. She got arrested for spray painting on a bomb factory. He ran away and left her there to die. Shortly after she broke up with him. This caused him to kill himself and Caitlin cried. She also wanted to be gay with Miss Avery. She had epilepsy.

YICK YU

LIZ

Liz showed up sometime in junior high. Her step-dad like molested her and she hated abortions. We all knew she had a thing for Spike. She was like her bitch or something.

The only asian kid on Degrassi street. This kid was pretty poor, and he was friends with ugly Arthur. He also smoked and was very disorganized.

MICHELLE

SIMON

In junior high, Michelle was a mousy little piece of nothing. Then she dated a "black guy" next thing you know she's moving out of her dad's house and yelling at her pimp in the library. I think she was also addicted to caffine pills. Maybe i'm confusing her with Jesse from "Saved By The Bell". Bravo mouse.

Back is junior high, Simon was hot stuff. Both Alexa and Stephanie battled for his love. He should have gone with Steph, at least he would of got some. In high school he became Alexa's bitch and married her when school ended. Good luck.

HEATHER & ERICA

DEREK "WHEELS" WHEELER

Identicle twins? I think not. I don't think Degrassi could afford REAL twins. It was all smoke and mirrors. One time, one of "them" got pregnant and had an abortion. Liz got pissed and beat the crap out of  "them".

He used to be normal, then his parents died and his hair grew out. This one time, he almost got raped in some guy in a car. Then he threw rocks at the pervert. He also loved arcades and the booze. He got into a car accident and killed a kid. It wasn't his fault though, she should have been wearing a seat belt. Nothing is his fault.

SNAKE

KATHLEEN

This one time, Snake made fun of gay people. Then his brother ended up being gay, so the joke was on him. He was also 1/3 of the band "The Zit Remedy" (Later "The Zits") He once found a dead kid in a bathroom. Tough shit. He turned down Spike when she asked him to the prom, which is weird because now they are married.

Kathleen was the most FUCKED UP CHARACTER on Degrassi. Not only was she bulimic, but her mother was a drunk and her boyfriend Scott beat her. She was also a real bitch. One time she found "pot" in the bathroom.

SHANE

NANCY a.k.a. FAT BITCH

So Shane is Spike's baby's daddy. He was rich and athletic, but then he dropped acid and jumped off a bridge. The jump didn't kill him, it just made him retarded. He dissapeared after after junior high. One time he came back, but this time he brought a lunch. He talked to Spike and scared the crap out of her. Now he kicks people in the head for a living.

Nancy was the fatest bitch to ever exist. Not only was she fat, but she got her drivers license first, and she made sure everyone knew that. I love this picture of her, it shows off her 80's hair, and her chin(s). I think she was related to the mom in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?"

MAYA

DIANE

Maya was a hottie on wheels (meaning a wheelchair, not the real "wheels") She was bestfriends with Caitlin and followed her around via motor-scooter. Maya couldn't get into most movie theaters because they weren't wheelchair accessable. What a turbulant life she leaves.

When Voula vanished after junior high, Diane was brought in as a "Voula substitute" I think her and Voula were secretly the same person. Diane had an older brother named George. George was strict and never let her go out. She also smoked some "pot" but didn't feel anything.

ALEXA

DUANE

Alexa was a bitch to the max. In junior high she was more human, but in high school she was mean. She didn't even want to share her birthday cake with the very cancerous L.D. Simon was her bitch too.

Duane was the school bully. He hung out with Tabi. Scooter used to give him cheeto's in jonior high. He was the one who ratted out Joey to Raditch when Joey ran naked through the caf. As luck would have it, the one chick he bagged gave him H.I.V. Thats what he gets for being a jerk.

TESSA

B.L.T.

Tessa was a geeky girl at first which got worse once she dated Alex. Then she got skanky and dumped him for Joey. In "School's Out" She and Joey had sex. Tessa got pregnant and had an abortion. That happens all the time on Degrassi. I once saw her in a "Degrassi Talks" video. She said she didn't get her period till she was 15. GROSS!

B.L.T. was the blackest kid in Degrassi. One time, some kid called him the "N" word and he beat the crap out of them. He later dated Michelle and her dad disaproved because he was abnormaly black. He later cheated on Michelle with "Cindee" This pissed Michelle off royal and she poured a milkshake on his head. tough luck Bacon Lettace and Tomato.

RANDOM CHARACTERS

LUKE

RICK

CLAUDE

Luke was everyone's favorite drug dealer at Degrassi. He was the one who gave Shane the acid which made him go retarded (well that and he jumped off a bridge). Luke also hid pot in the girls bathroom. Kathleen found it and had a good time.

This kid was creepy! He also dated Caitlin and peer presured her into spray painting buildings. When Caitlin left him, he killed himself in the boys bathroom. Snake found him dead. U heard he no works at Wal Mart.

Rick was badass. He had a thing for Caitlin. His dad also beat him but only Joey cared. He went to live with his brother after that.

PAUL

ALEX

RANDOM BLACK KID

Alex was a big geek and everyone hated him. By some freak chance he dated Tessa but she dumped his ass for Joey. He was also incharge of handing out year books.

Random Black Kid, or "R.B.K." appeared in many episodes but know one really noticed because he was random, not to mention black. His real name might of been "TIM" but nobody cared.

Nick was also a bully. He hung out with Duane and Tabi and together they made Joey's life hell. He also hated gay people and ran away when Duane got H.I.V.

SCOTT

CLUTCH

JASON

Scott was sweet at first. He dated Kathleen and then all hell broke loose. He went nuts and beat the crap out of her. I don't blame him though, she was a bitch.

I think his name was Clutch. Lucy had a thing for him. Clutch thought he was hot shit because had a rad car with paint splashes on it. The car was used in the "Zit Remedy" music video.

I don't really remember him. But I do know that he murdered someone in real life and I think he wore real short shorts too. What a weirdo.

AMY & ALLISON

PAUL

MR. BOND & SCOOTER

These girls were drunken sluts to the max! One of them almost drowned after drinking too much and Snake came to their rescue. Joey also paid both of them to be in the "Everybody wants something" music video, IN BIKINI'S! Of course the little whores said "Yes"

Paul dated Lucy for a bit in junior high. I don't know why, I mean he looked like Steve Urkel. She left him for his best friend Clutch. I don't think he was seen again after that (probably suicide)

Both geeks. One black, one albino. Both loved Superman comics. Scooter also loved cheeto's, which he shared with the school bullies to keep them off his back. Bond had a briefcase.

DOROTHY

SUSIE

VOULA

EW GOD. I don't know who is ugly, Dorothy, or L.D. Dorothy wasn't around much. She popped up a couple times to spread "My cousin is rich" romours. She also looked exactly like her cousin on the show Arthur. That was one UGLY duo. What a geek. I mean who has a face like that? Someone kill that ugly bitch.

Susie kinda looked like Vanessa Huxtable from "The Cosby Show". She was also Degrassi junior high's vice president. She was friends with Caitlin untill she had an "epilepitic episode" at Susie's sleepover extravaganza. Susie and her little sister were also molested by Mr. Colby. That guy got around.

Voula was Stephanie's bitch. She did everything for her and got no respect. She vanished after junior high. Maybe her strict parents shot her.

TABI

JOANNE

BRONCO

Man I hated Joanne. She wasn't even a real character, she just popped up every once-in-a-while to give her opinion on something. She was in "Special Ed" with Joey and she knew someone who knew someone with AIDS. Therefore she was an expert on the subject. She was also friends with Claude (so she claimed) was the only person who cared when he killed himself.

Tabi was also a bully at Degrassi. She hung out with Duane and Nick. Tabi loved Dipp bars and was always seen eating one. She was afriad when she found out Duane had H.I.V. but she came around later and danced with him. In the end she grew a heart. She also kinda looked like Hillary from "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"

Bronco was school president and the object of Lucy's affection. He was very politically active which caused Lucy to pop a boner whenever he was near by. Oh Bronco, you'll never get anywhere being named after a jeep.

THE TEACHERS

MR. RADITCH

MR. COLBY

MISS AVERY

He was a real asshole. He hated Joey and he hated "ethnic" He went from teacher to principal. He also ruined everyone's fun because he stopped Joey mid-streak.

She was once a teacher, then a librarian. Caitlin was also inlove with miss Avery and had wet hot lesbo dreams about her.

Mr. Colby was the hottest teacher in junior high. He got alittle to "friendly" with Lucy. Then again with Susie and her little sister. Man this guy had "Jungle fever".

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