A LIST BY STEPHEN DUNCAN
1--People on message boards who post initials for everything, and expect you to know exactly what they are talking about.
EX: “I loved LOTR and I’m sure I’ll love the EE of TTT.”
Somehow that has something to do with Lord of the Rings.
2--That fat kid in every P.E. class that stands there with that look on his face that says, “How the hell did I end up here?” I got an idea, fat ass! Quit stuffing your face with pork every five seconds!
3--People with fake accents.
4--People who brag about their upbringing and/or hometown. Whether it was good or bad, I have three words for them: I don’t care.
5--People who claim Radiohead is their favorite band in an attempt to sound “intelligent.”
6--Horror films and/or TV shows in which a bunch “of cool, hip teens” from WB shows star.
7--CGI.
8--Bands that dress like they are hardcore, yet play upbeat pop rock, a la Smash Mouth.
9--Dudes in music videos who get the close-up of the expression on their face which says, “Look at me, girls, don’t you think I’m so cute?”
10--Anti-smoking commercials. I get the point already. Jesus.
11--TRUTH commercials. They are more annoying and obnoxious than Mariah Carey.
12--Mariah Carey. She’s annoying and obnoxious. Glitter sucked (not that I watched it or anything…), and that screech is not in any way pleasant—I don’t care what Teen People says.
13--This one is a bit cliché, but it’s cliché for a reason: Chicks that are hot and know that they are hot.
14--People who listen to music on the radio.
15--Music on the radio.
16--Slipknot, Mudvayne, and Disturbed. The most overrated metal bands of all time. Listen, depressed teens, there is BETTER STUFF OUT THERE. These guys are just poor imitators. Listen to Slayer, Iron Maiden, Alice Cooper, and Kiss, and you’ll understand.
17--Movies with cheesy and shameless product advertising in them.
EX: “Hold on, Sarah, I’ll save you…right after I take a sip of this fabulously refreshing new Pepsi Blue, now in a bottle, and available at all grocery stores near you. Copyright Pepsi Company, 2003.”
18--Bands that do stuff other than play music. No one really cares about their opinion on the war. Just shut your trap and freaking play music.
19—Fat people. I wouldn’t mind them single, but they’re like velocoraptors—they always travel in groups. There’s never a family where one person is fat—it’s always the whole gang. Plus, they’re hard to maneuver around (they always seem to show up right when I’m late for class…)
20—Rap and that whole culture. It’s not cool to be illiterate, kids.
21—50 Cent. The only thing he’s famous for is the fact that he got shot nine times. I’ll go up to people that sing, “In Da Club” and say, “You don’t listen to 50 Cent, do you?” And they say, “Well…he did get shot nine times!” SO WHAT?!?!? And DON’T tell me that thing he did with Snoop Dogg was supposed to be a song! (sigh)…youth today…
22—The majority of youth today. Sadly, I’m one of them.
23—People who actually have nothing better to do than right down lists of things that piss them off.