I was just a fresh little fetus…honestly, what am I supposed to remember about my infant years? What more do infants do than crawl around, create “fecal matter”, get rashes, cry, and make strange caveman-like noises? The only significant thing that I remember about these years (and this is purely from what my mother and grandma have told me) is that right after I was born, and the nurses wheeled me out on that small, metallic bed, I gave my on looking family the thumbs up. Isn’t that just so incredibly awesome?
TODDLER
Ah, the grand toddler years. The wonderful years that I personally remember absolutely nothing from. Luckily, a little parent interrogation has helped me gain some knowledge. So here’s what I have: during these years, I would laugh so hard that if I was in a store, people would stop to watch me. Personally I think that watching a little kid laugh is a very boring and unrewarding form of entertainment, but to each his own (or in this case, probably her—seriously, how many grown men would stop to watch a little kid laugh?). Also, according to my parents, I used to trace over pictures in books and magazines with my finger, since I was not able to hold a writing utensil. Could this be a sign of my drawing talent (for lack of a better word) that would show up in future years? I wouldn’t be quick to kick that idea out the door.
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
My Elementary years I usually attempt to put on a pedestal above all of my other years (sometimes, they fall off, but I usually manage to secure them back on). Eat your social, acne-infested, post-pubic heart out, high school! These were the best years of my life! My creativity kicked in during these years, which was probably a result of all these new inspirations I had to work with. I saw my first non-Barney/Disney films during these years, such as classics like “Alien”, “Aliens”, and “Alien III”. Yes, this was the big forbidden trilogy that I was told by mom never to view. These were the films my pink-bunny-and-sugar-candy-riddled brain could not handle, yet one day, while hanging out with my uncle, he decided that the time had come. And, man, were these films awesome. They scared they feces out of me, but they were awesome. I remember saying to myself one day, “Man, one day I’m going to get back at those guys who made the ‘Alien’ movies. I’ll make a movie that will be so scary it’ll creep out even them.” Watch your back, Ridley Scott. I’m still keeping that promise. But why am I dwelling on the fact that I saw these three movies? Simply because it meant so much to me. Those films, groovy friends, little to no homework, and frequent after-school stops at Wendy’s made these years incredible for me. It’s a shame that I had to grow up.
MIDDLE SCHOOL
Ah, I remember it all now (cue cheesy, soap opera-like flashback dream sequence)…these were my ho-hum years. Nothing hugely significant ever really occurred during this time in my life. Yeah, sure, I won a poster contest and got on the honor roll and was an NJHS member (nerd alert!), but there was honestly nothing too important. Since it was a Catholic school, I’ll make a religious reference. These years were just like the Chruch’s “ordinary time” periods. I was just waiting for a special time to approach (and, in this case, the “special time” was high school).
HIGH SCHOOL
I cannot completely write about my high school years due to the fact that I am not even two full years into them, but I’ll do what I can. So far they’ve pretty much read like an old horror movie poster from the 50s. Outstanding! Shocking! Incredible! You have to see it to believe it! The mythical beast hits the screen in…well, I’m getting a little carried away, but I hope you get the basic point I was trying to make. There have been a few ups (I got published in my school’s newspaper, and I am currently writing scripts for and co-directing movies for my newfound friends in Scared Stiff Productions) and many downs (my rabid, Cujo-like dog was put to sleep for obvious reasons, I lost a fifty dollar Best Buy gift card, I had a seizure and was sent to the Emergency Room for four hours where I spent time viewing my brain thanks to the magic of Catscan, watched unnecessary amounts of the Planet of the Apes marathon on AMC, and peed in a cup), but so far these years have been…interesting…
10 YEARS FROM NOW
Ten years from now I’ll (hopefully) be doing pretty much all the same things I’m doing now, only more professionally. Hopefully my drawing talent will have improved by then, and I’ll be writing and penciling my own monthly comic book. If all goes well, I’ll still be the lead screecher in my band (currently without a name—hopefully we’ll have one it ten years), and I’ll continue to make films with Scared Stiff Entertainment. Maybe on the side I’ll write a few books or something (who knows?). If none of these things work out for me in ten years, then I’ll be a fat slob eating Potato Chips and watching the Sci-Fi Channel on the couch in the living room of my parent’s house. Hopefully, everything will work out. Keep your fingers crossed.