Now I'm going to ask him some questions.

Name: Matthew Robert Bates

Age: 19

Date of Birth: September 28, 1983

Height: 5'10" or something like that.

Weight: A hefty 125

Hair color: Brown I think

Hairline: Receeding

Sex: I'm waiting 'til marriage, honestly. Sorry, I thought that would be funny. Male

Skin Color: Pale

Nationality: Americano, and proud to be one. Get it, because I'm making fun of all these "patriotic" people who have always loved to live in the U.S. At least they have since September 11, 2001.

Hobbies: Fishing, swimming, diving, water polo. I just named a bunch of water sports. Actually, I like fishing a little, but that's about it. I also like sitting around and wishing I was doing something.

Favorites: Favorite what? Yeah I like Ritz Bitz with cheese, I like Mtn. Dew and cappuchino, I like wearing crappy clothes, if only because I can say I'm an individual, even if it is actually because I am cheap and don't have any money. I like bands like Dashboard Confessional, Death Cab for Cutie, the Beatles, Blink 182, Jimmy Eat World, At the Drive-In, Incubus, etc. I like Volkswagens, though I don't like mine. That's weird.

Favorite color: Well, it has been blue since I was in first of second grade or so, but I'm slowly moving over to green. I have no reason for my straying though. I'm sorry about that.

Favorite food: I'm not going to take the easy way out and say pizza, even though I want to. I like italian food a lot. I really do. I also like italian food. Sorry, I thought I could come up with a different type of food.

Favorite surgery: Man, that's easy. Hemifacial Microsomia correction surgery. I haven't had it, but the brochure looks gruesome. And the funny thing is I actually have a brochure.

Favorite Lance: Lance Armstrong. Sorry Lance McGee, he's a little cooler than you. But only a little.

What are you going to do with your life: Well, I hope to become an architect. I am also planning in dabbling in landscape achitecture, as well as maybe eventually majoring in Computer Systems Analysis. And I hope to have a good wife and a few kids, and I'd do my best to make them happy and what not. I think that's pretty much all I want out of life.

Then why are you wasting your time making a website: It gives me something to do.

Is that really your facial hair in that picture: Of course...not. It doesn't even look real. Why the heck are you asking me that question.

Well, since I am you, you should be asking yourself that one: What?

Okay, you are the one asking the questions, and then you turn around and answer them. Then you have the audacity to accuse me (you) of asking a stupid question: Hey, I'm sorry.

Did you happen to notice that you are talking to yourself right now; with every single word you type, you are talking to yourself more and more.: Yeah, did you happen to notice that you are doing the same? And here's a thought, and this goes out to everyone: Have you ever been talking to yourself and then been like, 'Man, I'm talking to myself.' And then you're like, 'I just did it again.' And then you just get caught up in that for the rest of your life. That's always weird.

Anything else you'd like to say: Nope.

Yeah, that was just weird. I'll never do anything like that ever again. Laters.