"RPI DOESN'T EXIST!"
or "Why not change the world? Because you might screw it up."
modified by Robert Otlowski
For too long we have been told lies.
The existence of the supposed northeastern college of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute has been taken as gospel for years by members of the engineering community. It has long been held up as a shining example of technical education in action. However, now is the time the truth be known. RPI doesn't exist.
Rensselaer is, and has always been, a professional ruse; a device applied to propagate the engineering educational agenda throughout the world. Hijacking a real institute for this use would be difficult at best; the students living there wouldn't stand for it. Thus the idea to invent an imaginary school, insert it into the global consciousness through the perversion of history, and use it as a tool of manipulation was born.
Using the assumed voice of an institute, the educated elite seeks to insinuate itself into world discussions, quietly changing the topic of conversations with a casual remark here, a whisper there. Need proof? The fictitious school was a important member of the Community of schools that helped develop the internet (which is, as you should be aware, step one in the march to the One Universal University) The headquarters of various research projects and other international bodies, unimportant and seemingly harmless now, that will have unaccountable jurisdiction on new technology and inventions (read "ray guns will kill us all") over any future global citizens.
The Elite have been hard at work dissimulating our reality. Through the deft use of relativism and red herrings like political correctness, they have been able to slip RPI into history and geography without anyone noticing. The cleverness of this is almost laudable. Rensselaer's history was designed with just enough pinash, institutional struggles, and gradual expansion to make it blend in with the rest of the universities of the world. That, combined with the co-opting of many historical figures (George Ferris, inventor of the Ferris Wheel) and events creates an alternate history that meshes with the real one. Where does the contrivances stop and reality begin? What's more, under the auspices of the Liberal controlled Department of Education, our children are being forced to believe in these lies. History has been revised so many times that it's no wonder public schools want more money; they keep having to buy new history books!
Not only would the Left have us believe in the existence of this so called "polytechnic institute", they would have us think their illusory school is a Shangri-La. Typical of the Liberal Media, we have been inundated with pro-RPI propaganda: Rensselaers' alleged superiority in the art of hockey; the reputed excellence of RPI's engineering programs; the extremely high average SAT scores of everyone who goes to RPI; how calculators are actually a RPI invention; and the high "wiredness" of the imagniary RPI campus.
When will the Liberals learn that you cannot keep the real truth from us?
I can hear the Left now: "But how could the existence of an entire institute, albeit a small one, be a hoax?" Engineering types will, of course, ramble on and on about Ferris, Van Rensselaer, and other assumed RPI historical figures that they learned about in their "Liberal Education." Public school teachers would point out that if it weren't for RPI, there would be a blank spot between MIT and Harvard on our maps, forgetting that the data for our maps came from the CIA-controlled spy-satellites. Some aging hippies may even claim to have bought drugs at RPI, but of what value are the delusions of a stoned counter-culturalist. They will all vehemently disagree with you if you DARE doubt the existence of Rensselaer. They actually believe in it.
How could anyone believe in a school with an animal as butt-ugly as the Redhawk for a mascott? A school where the highly competitive hockey team's name is "the Engineers" when, in fact, there's no way even a tenth of any hockey team is actually composed of engineering majors? A school where an albino squirrel named Alby plays with the well dressed well mannered straight A students in the campus courtyard?The answer to how the sham of RPI's existence could be pulled off is simple: we weren't vigilant enough. We let them gain the power over us needed to distort reality to fit their fiendish plans. But it's not too late. The truth can still be made known.
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2001-07-21: Let's talk about where all these "RPI grads" actually come from. There're always places in history set aside by the New World Order's RPI Conspiracy Division for all its brainwashed "RPI students" (who actually live in a large, underground complex beneath Florida-Disneyland hooked up to VR machines that make them think they are at RPI) to go forth and pester those of us who go to real universities. |
 RPI student's Pods beneath Florida-Disneyland. |
2002-10-03:
According to CNN, Dr. Richard Wiseman of the British LaughLab has conducted research into which jokes are considered most humourous at differet schools. To do this, he used a website that asked visitors to both submit and rate jokes. "RPI students" (accessing the Web from their Citizen Pods) rated the following "joke" as the most funny:
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
If you find this memetically potent koan funny, you may be in the process of being turned into an RPI student via NWO psychotronic mind control. Please protect yourself immediately!