Eric Torgersen
Eric Torgersen is a poet and Professor of English at Central Michigan University, where he teaches courses in creative writing and contemporary poetry. He is the author of Dear Friend: Rainer Maria Rilke and Paula Modersohn-Becker, Northwestern University Press. His most recent books of poems are Inside Unity House: The John-Paul Story, March Street Press, Good True Stories, Lynx House Press, and The Door to the Moon, March Street Press.
THE TROUBLE WITH TORGERSEN
Calling all lovers of poetry
to the aid of our good rhymer, Torgersen;
that's spelled if you please
with one o and two e's,
is the name of that rare poet, Torgersen.
He's written six volumes of funny stuff
that can always be found in the bargain bin;
won't you please take one home,
please relax in and roam
through the world according to Torgersen.
Once a lunatic limerist libelled him
as a crank and a crook and a forger's son;
"That's pronounced, if you please,
with the hardest of g's,"
replied the punctilious Torgersen.
If you take Mr. T. to a restaurant,
then the waiter will not get your orders in;
you may hear someone say
there are pigs in the way,
but the trouble, I tell you, is Torgersen.
If you take Mr. T. up to Canada,
then he won't know which country it borders on;
even children may say
it's the US of A--
"Oh, it's never that simple!" cries Torgersen.
If you give Mr. T. a rhinoceros,
then he'll probably ask for a larger one;
little rhinos, he'll say,
may be fine in their way,
but it's only great big ones for Torgersen.
Any Doctor of Poetry Medicine
can spot the real trouble with Torgersen,
for a climber must climb
and a rhymer must rhyme,
and nothing will rhyme with Torgersen.
Will the children please turn their computers on,
and may one of the braver and stronger win.
Here's a bug and a bee
and a house in a tree
for the first to rhyme smartly with Torgersen.
copyright (c) 1998 Eric Torgersen
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