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Back in 1492
with a stinky self and crew
there was naught for Chris to do
but don Crystal Ball cologne
Now no mink made this perfume
although others met their doom
for that saucy nom de plume
they call Crystal Ball cologne
CRYSTAL BALL COLOGNE
(to its charms you will succumb)
CRYSTAL BALL COLOGNE
(I like to dab it on my bum)
CRYSTAL BALL COLOGNE
sine qua non
my Crystal Ball cologne
Made of pure red Injun blood
with a dash of lilac bud
"what a delicate bouquet!" you'll say.
That's Crystal Ball cologne!
A real leathern Injun hide
keeps the contents safe inside
and tiny letters on the side confide
"I am Cristobal Colon."
(chorus again)
It will make you go insane
will that fragrant Injun's bane
and no excuse will be germane, so abstain
from Crystal Ball cologne.
Though the Injuns are jejune
as I sit and write this tune
perhaps one day they'll return, and burn
that Cristobal Colon.
CRYS-TAL BALL!
All words and music © 1996 Bert Vaux
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