The Rant Page!

Over the course of 3 years, I can honestly say I had fun making a site dedicated to my friends and experiences we shared. Unfortunately, the invention of the cell phone and my persistent laziness has caused this site to be pretty much useless. So rather than attempt to maintain a link between the good ole' days and the current days, I've decided to just use this space for observations, things that piss me off, new material I'm developing...stuff that I hope will make the reader laugh. So bear with me as I take a turn here and try to make something entertaining for everyone!

So What's He Bitching About Now?

Shit my life is awesome! I'm finally 21!!!!!!!! Fuck the rules, I'm legal, gimme my drink now asshole! It's about damn time these "adults" have been holding me down. OK, not to sound too happy, but life is good when you're 21, having fun and you've got a job. Right now I'm an intern at an architectural firm and I make models...nuff said. Money would be a non-issue but the problem is all of it is going towards my study abroad session in Rome this coming semester as well as my crazy upcoming New Years in Roma. Shit's gonna be crazy. On top of that, I was on TV. That's right, Philip Chan has finally gotten his 15 minutes of fame? By getting grilled by some of the best African American comedians out there. Here's the deal, we were in line to get into Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn and the producers were outside anding out these slips asking us if we had any funny or interesting problems we had for the comedians to help us resolve or comment on. Of course, I had none, but Lawrence did, and seeing how he didn't want to have a certain someone find this problem out, he had my write it down, and low and behold, I was picked and got on TV for Lawrence's problem. Yeah, it was great having D.L. Highley tell me that my "problem" was the dumbest shit he's ever heard. For more on this "problem" contact me and perhaps you can watch the actual recording.

On top of that, as you just found out, I'll be going to Roma for the fall semester as well as New Years. The plan is to have fun and explore and travel all of Europe or as much as my bank account and credit card allow me to. The awesome part is that Lawrence and Srini are coming to Roma for New Years. Let's see, last year New Years was in Montreal, and now it's gonna be in Roma. International parties, gotta love em.

Ok, now for some complaining. Actually, not so much complaining just yet, let me first give me first ever summer movie review/preview. Let's start with the first summer season blockbuster release, Van Helsing. The only thing I have to say is that this movie sucked. Dumbest shit in the world, could have been cool but was the dumbest shit on Earth. How dare the movie theatres force me to pay $10.00 for a movie where Frankenstein was a nice guy, the Werewolf was a little bitch, and Dracula was a douche bag. Fuck. Overall Grade: F for Fucking waste of money.

Troy - Fuck you Brad Pitt. Overall Grade: R for Read the fucking book cause this movie isn't tell the story good at all.

Day After Tomorrow - OK, let's see, half the world is being fucking frozen over, people are dying and being frozen alive, and the movie is basically a father and son flick. Who the fuck saw this coming? Who the fuck makes this disaster shit happen and then focus the movie on the relationship between a father a son? Shit, and whose dumb ass was it that thought of putting wolves in this movie? That was by far the most ridiculous thing in the world. Here's what I learned: When an ice age comes run south, when you're in the middle of an ice age stay inside and keep the fire on and you'll live, and finally, shoot all the wolves cause they are crazy motherfuckers who thrive on hunting people in the middle of a fucking ice storm. Overall Grade: C...Special effects saved your ass.

Harry Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban - Didn't see it and probably won't. Overall Grade: (Fill in the Blank)

Saved - This movie actually looks good. Who doesn't enjoy dark comedy and teen angst, especially when Jesus is involved. Ah yes, the year inspired by the passion, yet we're allowed to laugh in this one. I think it'll be good and I'll tell you next week. Expected Grade: B.

Garfield - Only gonna see it because I loved the cartoon as a kid. Oh yeah, and Bill Murray is the man, even if though he didn't win the Oscar for the best actor (Lost in Translation was amazing). Expected Grade: C.

Spider Man 2 - I don't see how this movie could be bad, and it won't be. One of the only movies that won't mind paying for a few times (Kill Bill 2 is the other). Expected Grade: A.

There are a bunch of other movies coming out but I'm not even gonna bother anymore. Onto more important stuff.

People from the south are fucking retards did you know that? I was talking to this one person back at school from the south and I swear I started seeing gum melt on the side walk and if I didn't know better I would believe I did that because my mnd sure as hell wasn't concentrating on what this person was saying. I don't think I've ever heard dumber shit come out of anyone else's mouth than this guy. Who the fuck has fun at sheap shearing competitions? Who the fuck has them? And why are southerners so ridiculously conservative? They are the loudest motherfuckers in this world, you could have sworn they were liberals if only they didn't go back to fuck their cousins later that night. I know, I'm talking out my ass but damn it I think I only know one person from the entire southern US who I can actually stand and that's a teacher of mine. He's the exception because he's one of the few that was able to leave the chickens behind and learn something.

Last Comic standing, my favorite show from last summer, is back and I couldn't be happier. I miss the cast of last year already. I'm gonna have to see Rich Vos live when he goes to Caroline's in July. And I'm still funnier than Dat Phan. I have one complaint though. They have to fire the two producers who pick the people to move into the initial qualifying rounds. These two fucks, both of whom work for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, the worst show in the world, pick the stupidest people to get on. Their material is horrendoes, they don't know how to work with a crowd, and they waste airtime. But what can you expect from the people who decided to continue to support Jay Leno, that big chin fuck. Move over for Conan and fix that retarded laugh.

On a final note, Jennifer Lopez has married for the third time, this time with Marc Anthony. Great, now they can create crappy music together. This is just getting ridiculous. Marriage is no longer an institution - it never was. But the way society has been denying it to gay couples and allowing Britney and J-Lo to ho it around as much as possible is absolutely disgusting. How dare we as a society consider this travesty and a joke of a marriage perfectly fine and beautiful, yet we condem tue love...pathetic. Of course, we won't have any complaints coming from the south, as long as we legalize pedophilia and incest, they're living pretty. I'm out!

Previous Rants: New Years Rant