index

Shut Vala Up!

Disclaimer: The creators of this site have a very strong dislike for the FICTIONAL character Vala on the TV show "Stargate SG-1." We would very much like to see her gone from the show. However, we harbor no ill will for the actress that plays her, and have nothing but the utmost respect for Ms. Black.

This site is for those of us that find Vala to be like nails on a chalkboard. We are tired of listening to her incessant, annoying, meaningless chatter.

Daniel Jackson is in total agreement with us, having said:

"The Ties That Bind:"

Daniel: Do me a favor. Shut up.

Daniel: Stay there, shut up, and let me finish.

"Beachhead:"

Daniel: Just a little less talk; a little more shut-the-hell up.

Daniel: (through gritted teeth) Vala, shut up.

So, in the spirit of cooperation with the the SGC's learned Archaeologist and Linguist, we would like to propose some ways to accomplish his dream. Please, if you have some other ways to suggest, for either list, please let us know!

Non-permanent ways to shut Vala up:

1) Two words – Duct tape.
2) Stick a sock in her mouth.
3) Laryngitis.
4) Lock her in the brig and turn off the microphone.
5) Stasis – set on high, powered with a naquadah generator.
6) Send her to Atlantis (ok, so it won’t shut her up, but our galaxy will be quiet.)

Permanent ways to shut Vala up:

1) Two words – Duct Tape – over her mouth AND nose.
2) Pitch her out the airlock – no sound in space!
3) Disengage the wormhole while her face is in it.
4) Ori plague – no antidote.
5) Face hugger from “Alien.”
6) Ugly bugs from “The Scourge.”
7) “Avalon, part 2” burning device, no Ori to bring her back.
8) Stasis – set on high, powered with a naquadah generator set to overload.

Thank you to those of you that have visited and given suggestions in our Guestbook - your ideas are wonderful! If this is your first time here, please stop and give us your ideas for ways to shut her up. If this is your second or subsequent visit, and you have a new idea, please add it! The more ideas the better!

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret productions, and Gekko Productions. This website is forfun only. No copyright infringement is intended.