Hey! Here’s part THREE!! It’s here! It’s sparkly! It’s full of WORDS and.....and.......YEAH! Read it and maybe reply. It would be very pleasant........*just kidding.* For the few who actually pay attention the stuff I churn out, here you go!
Part Three: Return of the Ikari II (The sequel)
Shinji was having the time of his life, drinking, laughing, watching a movie...it was paradise. Without fear of any kind he leaned in and gave Asuka a smooch, and chuckled as Rei grew jealous at him and puckered up at Kensuke to give him a wet one. Toji and Hikari had long ago left to....yeah, right....like any of this is happening.
Shinji frowned and crumpled up the paper he’d been doodling his little comic on. “Maybe it won’t be a disaster.” he said to his crumpled paper. “I mean, Asuka has been trying to be...er...friendly to Rei and I’m pretty sure Hikari can handle Toji.”
“Mr. Ikari, if you have something to say please say it to the entire class.” The sensei said when he heard Shinji’s mumbling interrupt his ‘lesson’.
“Um...No, nothing to say at all....”
Toji recovered the destroyed doodle and un-crumpled it. “Heh, Ken...look at this....” He snickered.
Kensuke leaned over Toji’s shoulder to see the awaiting funniness.
“Shinji did this?” He giggled. “He needs to get out more.”
Toji snatched the drawing away and elbowed Kensuke in the stomach. “You’re one to talk.” He said motioning to his stack of ‘special’ mangas.
“Mr. Suzahara, would you like to add to the lesson?” The sensei asked, rather annoyed that more and more people were interrupting him than pretending to listen.
“Uh, yeah. Just wanted to comment how much fun Asuka and Shinji are gonna have tomorrow night.” The class, who were suspecting something between the two Eva pilots erupted with gossip, catcalls and general melee that only Toji or Kensuke could achieve.
“What?!” Both aforementioned pilots gawked at the scene before them. “It’s not...”
Asuka slammed both hands onto her desk and stood up. “Listen all you freak show wannabes, my business is just that, MINE! Now scurry on after your two stooge leaders and bother some other poor soul or I’ll kick all of your asses!”
“Yeah....” Shinji piped in lamely.
The teacher shuffled his papers and waited patently for the spectacle to end. This had been happening more and more since the fiery exchange student joined class II-A. He sighed to himself. //I wonder if I get hazard pay for this.//
“And another thing! You all should be ashamed, after all, you own lives are too damn boring to talk about.” Asuka shouted in the general direction of Toji and Kensuke’s desk.
“Now, class....come on” Hikari pleaded to the mob. “ ...please be seated... we have a lesson to do....SHUT UP!”
The class froze in position.
“Better.” Hikari said, obviously miffed that she had to raise her voice. “Sensei?” She asked to the old man slumped over his podium mumbling about worker’s compensation.
“Ahem....right. Class dismissed for lunch.” Hikari, with no other alternative plan, thought lunch would give the students a chance to use up all their energy.
“But Hikari, we already had lunch.” A girl named Nizomi said.
Hikari suppressed the urge to swear at the class as a whole, but thought better of it when she saw Asuka doing just that. “Then just go home everyone.” She turned and aided the sensei to the teacher’s lounge.
“Man, Shinji.” Toji said from behind the desk he was hiding under.
Shinji turned. “What?”
“I was thinking, are you really going?”
“Of course I am.” He started to put his books away. “Why?”
Kensuke appeared from the mass of students clamoring to leave before the principal found out what was going on. “Cause me and Toji are skipping it.”
“What? You can’t do that.” Shinji said, walking with his two friends out of the room.
Kensuke frowned. “Why not?”
“Because.....you’d be standing them up. That would hurt their feelings.” Shinji argued.
Toji laughed. “C’mon man! Asuka constantly hurts us, Hikari probably has homework to do and Ayanami....well....does she have feelings?”
“Of course I do.”
All three of them turned around in surprise. “H-hello Ayanami.” Shinji and Toji said. Kensuke was already off running.
“I will see you tomorrow night, am I correct Ikari?” She looked around for her would-be date.
Shinji ‘urked’ and rubbed the back of his head. “Um...well you see Kensuke -OOF!” The sentence would have been completed, had it not been for the elbow from Toji, dropping the Eva pilot to his knees.
“Ken’s coming, don’t worry. You’ll have a blast.” Toji smiled and looked around, hoping not to see Hikari waiting for him to walk her home.
“Ikari, would you go to my residence and get the rest of my school uniforms?” Rei asked. “I am due at Nerv headquarters for tests.”
“S-sure....Ayanami. No problem.” Shinji said after he and Toji exchanged nervous glances. Well, mostly Shinji giving Toji nervous glances. The last time Shinji went to Rei’s apartment he’d seen a little too much than he’d bargained for.
“You’re not going, are you?” Rei asked Toji once Shinji had left.
Toji froze. “Uh...well. No. What are you going to do about it?”
Ayanami didn’t do much of anything about it, besides frown and continue on her way.
“STOOGE!” Toji sighed and wondered what all these Eva weirdoes wanted with him.
“What? The Devil summons thy?” He smirked at his snappy retort and turned to face the approaching red demon.
“You! Where did the other stooge go?” Asuka said. She had little patience since the classroom fiasco.
“Uh, Ken ran off that way-”
Asuka grabbed Toji’s shirt and brought his face very close to hers. “I am three seconds away from kicking your testicles so hard you‘ll wonder if you had beans for lunch. Now, you have two options. Tell me where Shinji went, or never have children. It’s up to you.” She said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Um...he went to Nerv?” Toji said warily.
Asuka’s eyes narrowed. “Try again.”
“H-he went to Rei’s place!” Toji yelled as Asuka’s foot cocked back in preparation for a kick point blank in the fellows.
“Good doggie.” She dumped the sweating athlete on the ground and stormed for the crummy side of town.
******
“Hey! I got it!” Rich erupted from the small collection of mechanical gizmos.
Pete looked up from the window. “Got what?”
“The new video surveillance is up!” He flicked a few switches and an image appeared on the screen. “I tapped into Nerv’s existing video net and wired it over here!”
Back on the bridge Makoto’s flickered, but he didn’t notice because his full attention was focused on the much more important ‘Ranma 1/2’ manga he’d acquired.
“Wow.....” Pete said without the slightest hint of interest. “Where’s the sound?”
Rich frowned. “Dunno. I did this with a screw driver and three pieces of tin foil with a portable TV.”
On the screen a purple haired woman exited the shower, looked around and dropped the towel that was previously wrapped around her lithe form. Both men’s eyes nearly exploded from their sockets. If Makoto wasn’t preoccupied with Akane beating the crap out of Ranma, he would have cried.
They were interrupted from their mini-porn minute by a knock on the door and a faint “Why am I knocking if Ayanami isn’t here?” The door knob attempted to turn, but the padlock prevented all further movement.
Outside Shinji wondered why Rei had asked him to go to her apartment and then not give him the key. Besides, when did Ayanami need a lock?
“BAKA!” Shinji turned to look down the hall where Asuka stood huffing at the top of the staircase.
“Asuka? What are you doing here?” Shinji asked. “I thought you were going to the arcade corner.”
Asuka saw Shinji attempting to open the door and her eyes widened. Shinji saw this and cocked an eyebrow, confused. “Holy...shit...Shinji! A spider! Right next to you!” She lamely yelled and pointed.
“Where? Get it off!” Shinji stumbled down the hallway to the stairway doing a little jig that Asuka would have found hilarious save for the fact that her ‘operation’ was in danger of discovery.
She drew back and landed a punch square on Shinji’s shoulder, slamming him against the wall.
She smiled sweetly at Shinji’s hurt expression. “Got it!”
“Oh...thanks...” Shinji grunted.
Asuka looked back down the stairway and frowned. “Come on you idiot, we need to get home.”
Shinji rubbed his shoulder and followed Asuka down the steps.
*********
Rei felt warmth all around her, flowing through her veins. She inhaled a deep breath of LCL and opened her eyes.
“Hello Rei.” Commander Gendo Ikari said from just outside the tank. He looked to his left as Ritsuko stepped up beside him.
“Good afternoon Commander. Good afternoon Dr. Akagi.” Rei said politely. She smiled when Gendo nodded. From inside the tank Rei heard the Commander and Dr. Akagi talking about her synch ratio and other stuff that she would probably be briefed on later.
“Rei?” Rei’s attention was returned to the Commander.
“Yes?”
Gendo clasped his hands behind his back. “I have been informed you are going with several classmates of yours along with the Second and Third to a movie.”
“Yes, this is true.” Rei confirmed.
Gendo nodded. “You are forbidden to go.” Rei made a small, barely noticeable frown.
“Please explain.”
Ritsuko stepped up. “We think that any interactions with the Second and Third will only lead to distractions. Your synch ratio has already lowered drastically.”
Rei felt something stir inside her......was this what the others called anger? Or was it that salad she had for lunch?
“I understand.” She rubbed her stomach. “Commander?”
Gendo looked up from the clipboard he was signing. “Yes Rei?”
“May I have some more salad?”
Ritsuko left Gendo to deal with the clone and entered her office. “Gendo, you may be the most powerful man in the world....but you are one gullible loser.” She said to a small framed picture of the aforementioned Commander. “Like Shinji and Asuka could really distract Miss Perfect from her goal of always pleasing you....sucker. Now all I have to do is get Rich and Pete to spring the trap on her when she returns to her apartment...heh heh heh hehe hehe!” Despite her best efforts Doctor Ritsuko Akagi began cackling like a mad scientist. “Whooo...... And now for the start of phase three....Operation KILL THE CLONE!!! Wait, why am I talking aloud?”
“Because as Commander I need to know what is going on in my headquarters.” Ritsuko swung around to see Gendo leaning against her doorframe. “Thank you sincerely for divulging that information. Now I can find a suitable punishment. How about your place, 7:30?”
Ritsuko hung her head in defeat. “Okay...okay...but this time bring some wine, not that cheap booze you seem to enjoy.”
******
“Misato?! Where have you gone now?” Asuka searched the apartment for the eighth time.
From the kitchen Shinji recovered some tea. “You know, she probably went to headquarters because of Rei’s tests.”
“Hnnnnn, still, the least she could’ve done was leave a note.” As she flopped on the couch Asuka noticed the answering machine was beeping. “Ooh! A message!” She hit the play button.
“You have...four...new messages. to hear your....four....new messages press two now.” The pre-recorded phone voice said. Asuka hit the two button as Shinji sat down next to her and gave her a cup of tea.
“......Hi! This is Me! Can I please speak to You?! Okay....bye bye!” The first message said, rather indignantly. Shinji and Asuka looked at each other.
“That sound like Misato to you?” Shinji asked Asuka, who shrugged and started the next messages.
The next two were guys brave enough to call Asuka after somehow obtaining her number.
“Sheisse... what a bunch of losers.” Asuka said after she deleted them. The next message was, to Asuka’s delight, Kaji.
“Hey, it’s me. *static* Sorry, but I’m calling on my cell *static* hone. I need to tell you *static* omething. I *static* ve you. I couldn’t tell you before because I *static* you know? Well, If you come over to my *static* ace we can do that thing you talked *static* bout. You know....*static* you wanted me to stick my *static* all the way in your *static*. I’ve always wanted to *static* your nice knobs *static*. So, call me about the plumbing jobs you wanted to do with me, later. End of messages.”
Shinji and Asuka nearly facefaulted, had it not been for the fact that they were sitting down.
“Well, I guess we should wait until Misato gets home before I start dinner.” Shinji said.
Asuka stood up and stretched. “Why wait for her? It’s obvious she’s not coming home anytime soon.”
“Okay I guess. What do you want for dinner?” Shinji asked, tying his ‘Kiss the Eva’ apron. Misato had given it to him when she found out what a great cook he was. On the front was a big mug shot of Unit-01 puckering up.
“Pizza!”
Shinji’s brow wrinkled. “What?”
“Pizza! It’s a round crust of bread with tomato sauce and cheese in the middle.” Asuka explained.
“I’ve never heard of it. Do you know how to make it?” Shinji asked after flipping through some cookbooks.
“Never mind that! We can order out. I saw a great take-out place on the way home from school.” With a quick glance in the mirror to ensure she was still beautiful, Asuka grabbed Shinji, still in his apron, and ran out the door.
******
“Man am I hungry!” Pete whined after fiddling with the video monitor. The two kids weren’t as entertaining as the purple-haired woman, and with no sound it was impossible to figure out what was going on.
“Then eat something.” Came the annoyed reply. Rich hadn’t been in a good mood since Ritsuko called them from her apartment whispering something about the jam in the kitchen being moldy, and a rolling rabbit gathering no moss. After Rich asked what the hell she was talking about, Ritsuko sighed and said: “Change to plan C2-1B you idiot.” Rich also heard a faint “Come back to bed Yui....”
But since Rich had no idea of what that plan was, he was stuck with making one up that would sound like something the demented scientist would do. In short, it was really, really hard.
“There’s no more instant ramen.....” Pete moaned licking the last crumbs off his plate.
Rich crumpled up the paper he’d been deviously plotting on and rubbed his temples. “Too bad. No go play or something.”
“Very funny. Come up with anything good yet?” Pete asked, making his way over to the tiny desk they’d somehow fashioned out of the furo in the bathroom and a chair.
“Well, we can inject some poison into her LCL-”
Pete snorted. “And just how are we gonna get into Nerv headquarters?”
“Um...I dunno. Maybe say we were with Seele?”
The two thugs looked at each other and broke out laughing. “Maybe some food would do us some good.” Rich agreed and the two set out in search of something that wasn’t instant or ramen.
******
Rei was not satisfied with the provided salad. It was made of synthetic plants gown deep inside terminal dogma and in addition, it tasted like LCL.
“I am not satisfied.” Rei stated, pushing the nasty green pile away. “Maybe the city will hold more suitable dining facilities.” After thinking about what she just said Rei blinked. “And why do I talk like that?” She shrugged and gathered her school bags in preparation for the trek out of her own private world.
Walking through the corridors of Nerv, Rei came upon Kaji, busy leaning over Lieutenant Ibuki.
“Kaji-san?”
The spy made a waving motion as if to shoo away the pest. “Mmmm-busy now Rei...mhmmmmm.......” He said through mouthfuls of Ibuki tongue.
“I have a request.”
Finally, whether or not it was Maya’s knee in his crotch or Rei’s insistent poking of his shoulder no one knows for sure, but he turned and regarded Rei. “Yes Rei?”
“Do you know of an acceptable dining establishment near the GeoFront?”
Kaji put a hand to his chin and ’hmmmmmmed’. “Well, there is a great pizza joint over by Katsuragi’s apartment.”
“What is pizza?”
Kaji’s face lit up. “It’s like a big slice of bread covered with tomato and cheese.”
“That....that sounds good.”
Kaji winked and went to find some other lady he could harass. Rei stood watching him, wondering just what it was about him that Soryou liked. With another shrug Rei left the building.
*******
Are you sure this...pizza even exists?” Shinji asked once they passed the same trash can for the ninth time.
“Of course it does. I had it all the time in Germany. And I know I saw this place the other day! Now where is it?” Asuka stormed another street, swinging her head back in forth in hopes of spotting the reclusive pizza parlor.
“If you say so.” Shinji said with a roll of his eyes. They passed the trash can again.
“There it is!” Asuka yelled suddenly, causing many people on the street to flinch and wish they didn’t hear the high octave squeal. Several dogs began barking.
“Where?” Shinji asked, not sure if he’d ever be able to appreciate classical music again.
Asuka grabbed Shinji’s wrist and pulled him to a storefront. “See, Mestrangello’s Pizza Parlor! Knew it.”
Shinji nodded, the faint smell of baking bread filling his nostrils. “Wow. That does smell good.”
“Why must you doubt me, idiot?” Asuka said, nose in the air and walking through the door.
Before following his fellow pilot into the restaurant he turned his head to take in the street, barely catching a small bit of almost sky blue amidst the blues and grays of Tokyo-3’s business world.
“What took you?” Asuka asked. “Here I got you a menu.” She handed Shinji a laminated piece of paper. “I’m having the bergolle, it’s supposed to be really good.”
Shinji scanned the items. “Huh....How do you pronounce this? Calzoni?”
“That’s Calzone, it’s like a pizza with the crust rolled over it.” Asuka said, pointing to a picture of it.
“Oh. Well....that sounds okay, I guess.” He looked up as the waitress appeared. She pulled a pencil from behind her ear and a pad of paper from her apron, did that magic waitress thing and sticking her tongue in her cheek said, “Sowhatcha’twokidsgonnahavetaday?”
“I’ll have the Bergolle, extra sauce please.” Asuka ordered. The waitress nodded and turned to Shinji. “Niceapronhoney, what’llitbe?”
“Uh, the Calzone, please.” Shinji said after looking at his silly apron and blushing.
The waitress again nodded and scribbled something that couldn’t possibly be ‘Bergolle’ and ‘Calzone’. “Yawantextraparmesanorwhat?”
Shinji blinked a couple of times. Since he had no idea what parmesan was or how ‘extra’ would taste he simply nodded dumbly.
Asuka sighed rather loudly. “Yeah, he’ll take some on the side.”
The waitress excused herself and disappeared inside the kitchen. Shinji, without any source of things that would occupy his interest, found himself pulling a ‘blue-haired clone girl’ and looking out the window blankly. Asuka on the other hand, without something to occupy her interest found herself pulling a ‘mean, nasty uber-bitch’ and insulting Shinji.
“Hey, idiot. What’s so interesting out there anyway?” Asuka asked after inhaling a breadstick.
Shinji didn’t bother replying, he’d found something worthy of his interest. A blue-haired clone girl.
“It’s Ayanami!” Shinji suddenly burst out, nearly giving Asuka a heart attack.
Outside, Rei heard her name and turned to look into the pizza parlor window to see Shinji, frantically waving and wearing a ridiculous cooking apron she thought she’d lost weeks ago.
“Ikari?” She entered the restaurant and stood before a sulking Asuka and a barely contained Shinji.
“Hello Ayanami! How are you doing?” Shinji asked anxiously.
Rei blinked and noted that she was acceptably healthy and was exactly three days from beginning her period, but decided that “I am fine.” would suffice.
“Well, you’re already here. Might as well sit down instead of standing around like a moron.” Asuka huffed and made a motion for Shinji to make room in the booth. Shinji complied and soon Rei was sitting next to Shinji, clutching her schoolbag.
The waitress returned with the Second and Third’s meals and decided to notice Rei. “Heytherelittlemissy. CanIhelpyou?”
Rei took a good long look at the menu. “A 16” veggies lover’s pizza, no parmesan.” She said once satisfied a sixteen inch would cover her craving.
“A large pizza? Can you eat all that Rei?” Shinji asked incredulously.
Asuka snorted. “Ah, let her bloat up like a whale, Shinji. When she has heartburn like a flamethrower she’ll be sorry.”
Rei wanted to point out that she had physical safeguards against such indigestion, but then again....that would take all the fun out of being an enigmatic vision of beauty. That and the Commander deemed it top secret.
*******
“There! Finally, a place that serves real food!” Rich cried as he spotted the only non-oriental looking joint in the city. “Mestrangello’s Pizza Parlor. Like the sound of that.”
Pete looked on in approval as they approached the Italian restaurant. “I’m just about sick of ramen and rice. Blech....some Alfredo would hit the spot right now.”
The two waltzed through the door and waited to be seated, as the sign directed. Rich leaned against the counter and took a gander. Behind the main cash register the was the kitchen, with doors that led to the men’s/women’s unisex bathrooms. Bags of potato chips hung in a row from a wire stretched across the waiting room. Past a small alcove directly to the left was the dining area, were three patrons sat eating. And from the looks of the redhead and the scrawny kid with the ‘Kiss the Eva’ apron, those were the Second, Third....and next to the Third happened to be Rich’s little lady friend.
“Hey, Rich....” Whispered Pete. “Isn’t that your chick?” He pointed to the blue haired damsel.
Rich nodded absently, observing the trio. “Yeah, the Temper, the Wuss, and the Bendy One. Sums it up nicely doesn’t it?” He reached behind his coat jacket and felt the handgrip of his .45 Beretta.
Continued Sometime Later....................
Big Arthur’s Notes (Note the capitalized letters!)
A gun?! Well, a Shinagami fic wouldn’t be complete without one or three. This series is going to take a lot longer to roll out than I first expected. The projected 3 chapters has turned into an estimated 4-5.
Fun Fact: The pizza place the Children were eating at is an actual pizza restaurant I go to all the time. It’s a few minutes down the road from my house and they have the best damn pizza ever! (I better be getting paid for advertising here.....)