(Revised since it was posted!!)
WARNING: Spoilers up to and including Grave. If you haven't seen all of Season 6, don't read any further!! Btvs Quotes from Psyche Transcripts.
(* - these will be addressed in notes section at end of the essay.)
"I'm serious. Responsible people are ... always so concerned with ... being good all the time, that when they finally get a taste of being bad ... they can't get enough. It's like all (gestures) kablooey." Anya, Smashed, Season 6, Btvs.
"When you become a vampire the demon takes your body, but it
doesn't get your soul. That's gone! No conscience, no remorse... It's an easy way to live." (Angel to Buffy in ANGEL, Btvs Season 1)
By reinventing themselves as a powerful witch and a sexually aggressive vampire, Willow and William, manage to shirk their former weak-willed virginal personas for strong powerful aggressive ones. As a witch - Willow becomes the aggressor both in her personal relationships as well as academically and in society. As a vampire - William likewise becomes an aggressor, pursuing the slayer, pursuing his prey. The witch and vampire motifs are interesting as well - since these are the two villains the SG fought way back in Season 1. Of the two the witch was far more formidable, since their defeat of Catherine Madison was almost a fluke. (Buffy lucked out, by flipping a mirror on Catherine - so that Catherine's spell was reflected back at her, in the final scene of Witch. I'm not sure if Buffy would have succeeded if it weren't for the mirror, which reflects Catherine rage and hate back at her. Interesting they defeat DarkWillow in almost the same manner, except they reflect her humanity and love back at her through Xander's words and Giles' magic.) Willow's cravings for magic and William's cravings for blood also work as metaphors for drug and alcohol abuse - common means for the real geeks to handle rejection and the energy it takes to maintain the false personas they've created to hide the so-called "geek".
But there's more to the story here. Willow did not pursue dark magic for the reasons Catherine did and Spike certainly didn't intend on becoming the insane vampire that we know today. Somewhere along the way - Spike and Willow started going against their original intent. Willow got corrupted by the dark magic she wielded, slowly finding herself bent to its will while Spike went in the opposite direction and found himself growing weaker as a vampire, because of an increased desire to aid order instead of chaos. It's almost as if the PTB (Powers That Be) and FoD (Forces of Darkness) in their continuous chess game, claimed each other's knight. Knights for those of you who aren't familiar with chess, never move in a straight line. At the moment - it looks like FoD got the upper hand, because a witch is far more powerful than a vampire. But then where would the SG (Scooby Gang) and Sunnydale be if Spike hadn't jumped sides? Also, Willow's descent into evil was far more direct and predictable than Spike's zig-zagged climb towards order, a climb he himself appears to be conflicted about.
The first shift in this trajectory happened in Season 2, in Becoming Part II. It was in this episode, that Willow decided to us dark magic to impose her good will on the world and Spike first used his vampire abilities to assist the forces of order. In doing so, both went against the nature of their power or the monster and that first step may have brought them both to where they are today.
In Becoming, Season 2, Angelus plans to suck the world into hell by awakening Acathula. He kidnaps Giles, who unwittingly provides the necessary information. To stop him, the SG comes up with a two-pronged approach. Spike locates Buffy and convinces her to join forces with him to defeat Angelus and save the world. Willow, having just awoken from a coma and without consulting Buffy, decides to curse Angelus with a soul. Both are partially successful. Spike manages to even the odds in Buffy's favor. Angelus is correct, Buffy could not have taken them all on alone. Not even with Xander's help. In the previous episode, Drusilla and Angelus' minions had killed Kendra (the other slayer), broke Xander's arm, kidnapped Giles, and injured Willow. Spike's help was invaluable in defeating Dru and Angelus. Willow also manages to return Angelus' soul to him - but she does it a little late. (For those people out there who still haven't forgiven Xander for not telling Buffy about Willow's plan - it wouldn't have mattered. Angelus' had opened Acalthula prior to getting his soul back. Buffy would have had to kill him anyway. And if she'd known - she could have gotten herself killed in the process. Xander probably did the right thing for the wrong reasons. Just as Willow did the wrong thing for the right reasons.) In short, Willow's curse did not save the world. All it did was complicate things.
Spike does something very interesting in Becoming. Almost shocking if you stop and think about it. Oh it makes logical sense. Because of Buffy, who dropped a pipe organ on his head, Spike was chained to a wheelchair for months listening to Angelus shag Drusilla. Not to mention putting up with all of Angelus' obsessions and insults. And he certainly had plenty of time to brood. At the time his little plan probably seemed flawless. After all, what was there to lose? He gets Dru. Buffy, if he's lucky, kills Angelus. The world doesn't go to hell. He and Dru leave Sunnydale happily ever after. Except for one teensy little problem - he went against his calling as a vampire, against chaos, against the FoD to do this. He jumped tracks in midstream. The FoD really don't care why he did it. They tend to look at the big picture, petty human emotions are beyond them and they believe should be beyond their warriors. What did the Judge tell Spike? "You stink of emotion and affection."(Surprise, Season 2) You aren't supposed to help the slayer save the world so you can drive off in the sunset with your one true love. You're supposed to wreck havoc and kill the slayer - you dimwit. Drusilla, nutty as she is, understands this. Meanwhile the PTB are gleefully rubbing their hands together, thinking hmmm this looks interesting, better keep an eye on this guy.
Willow on the other hand - has used dark magic to curse someone. Like Spike, she may have had the best of intentions, but the PTB don't really care. You're not supposed to delve into dark magic to curse someone. That's a door you might want to keep closed. Yes - in the long run giving Angelus back his soul may have aided them, but it was a risky move since it may have worked against them too. Also the curse itself gave Willow access to something that was over her head. Meanwhile - the FoD are rubbing their hands together, going hmmm let's keep an eye on this one, see where it leads. Who knows all may not be lost after all.
In Season 3 Btvs, we get to see the effects these choices had on both characters.
Willow apparently has been delving in the dark magicks most of the summer. We learn in Dead Man's Party, the second episode of Season 3, that Willow has had a few magical accidents, including almost setting her bed on fire. Later in Gingerbread, Willow tells her mother that she can summon at least two of the forces of nature. "Mom, I'm not acting out. I'm a witch! I-I can make pencils float. And I can summon the four elements. Okay, two, but four soon."
Spike, we learn in Lover's Walk and later through flashbacks in Fool For Love (Season 5, see scene between him and Drusilla, dated 1998 - Brazil) , has lost Drusilla. He's no longer evil enough for her. As he tells Willow in Lover's Walk, "It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her." Being love's bitch, he wishes Dru had just killed him. "She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. (sniffs) I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared." Neither Willow nor Spike have a healthy view of love - they both obtain their self-worth through the eyes of their lovers. They are not worthy by themselves. This makes them both "loves bitches" and somewhat dangerous to whomever they become interested in. Willow states in Two to Go, Season 6 and in Tough Love, Season 5, 'without Tara, I'm nothing.' She can't sleep without her in Tough Love and in Two To Go, she tells Buffy that the only time she felt good about herself was the moments she looked into Tara's eyes. Spike says the same thing in Lovers' Walk about Drusilla: "I'm nothing without her." Drusilla and Tara have managed through their love and relationships with Spike and Willow to elevate S/W's opinions of themselves. Before Tara and Dru, S/W believed they were "geeks", "mediocre", after Tara and Dru, S/W became vampire and witch - powerful entities.
Back to Lover's Walk. Willow is attempting a de-lusting spell with Xander when Spike discovers her and requests that she give him a love spell for Drusilla. Both want to use spells to control their loved ones. Both are terribly afraid of losing that which makes them feel good. Willow feels guilty that she is now getting these good feelings from two sources: Xander and OZ. In Lover's Walk, a drunken lovesick Spike returns to Sunnydale to revenge himself on Angel for breaking up him and Drusilla. He initially intends to curse Angel but changes his mind and asks Willow to conjure a love spell instead. Willow meanwhile is trying a delusting spell to control hers and Xander's sudden attraction for each other. They've been cheating on Cordelia and OZ and Willow feels incredibly guilty. Unable to resist Xander's charms, she decides to control her feelings with magic. Just as Spike resorts to magic to get Drusilla back. Neither accomplish their ends. Willow informs Spike that she left a spell book at Buffy's house. Instead of just picking up the book, Spike takes the time to commiserate with Joyce over a cup of coco. They discuss their ex's and Joyce tells Spike that sometimes people just go their separate ways. As a result of this odd almost human repast, Angel and Buffy catch up to Spike and they inadvertently help him fight off a bunch of the Mayor's thugs hired to rid the town of Spike. (Quick digression - As was commented on by Ronia and verdenathe on ATP board - the Mayor saw Spike as a potential loose canon, unpredictable, and possibly dangerous to his plans, so he hired thugs to kill him instead of attempting to recruit him. Interesting - considering how much work he and Faith went to - to attempt to turn Angel into Angelus in Enemies. This leads me to believe that the Mayor saw Spike as a greater threat to his plans than Angel, whom he ignored until Faith came on the scene. Clever Mayor.)
Willow once again resorts to the forces of darkness for the right reasons - to protect OZ and Cordelia from what she and Xander are doing. And Spike once again ends up doing something good for the wrong reasons - defeating and killing a bunch of evil vampires in a street fight and commiserating with Joyce to survive and make himself feel good. He ends up leaving Sunnydale without killing Willow or Xander or acquiring a spell. Instead he decides to win Drusilla back on his own and gives Buffy a piece of invaluable insight regarding Angel. Willow and Xander get caught in the act and Willow is forced to take responsibility for her actions as well.
Just a few episodes after Lover's Walk, we find Willow resorting to dark magic to deal with the pain of rejection and frustration in Dopplegangerland.
Anya: Yeah. Um, listen, (steps up closer to her) I have this little
project I'm working on, and I heard you were the person to ask if...
Willow: (interrupts, ironically) Yeah, that's me. Reliable-Dog-Geyser
Person. What do you need?
Anya: Oh, it's nothing big. (secretively) Just a little spell I'm
working on. (shrugs)
Willow: (suddenly interested, steps down to her) A spell?
(nonchalantly) Oh. I like the black arts.
Willow doesn't want to be old reliable. She wants to be important, fun and possibly more like Buffy. In Choices she lets Buffy know that she wants to join her fight, go against the forces of evil. Use her gift with magic to help. (See Choices, last scene, Season 3 Btvs.) But one little problem, she is delving into the dark forces of magic to do it and the more she uses these forces to do good, the more she gets tainted by the power, becoming somewhat addicted to it herself. By the time we reach Season 4, Fear Itself, OZ expresses fears about Willow's increased use of magic and Buffy suggests that her spells are usually fifty-fifty and hardly reliable. Willow reacts to both comments with disdain. Telling Buffy and Oz off. (See Fear Itself, Season 4). In the episode Willow uses magic to find her way - but the magic backfires on her, threatening to attack and consume her in the form of tiny green fireflies.
A few episodes later we see Spike in Sunnydale again. In The Initiative, Spike gets a nasty little government chip in his head that castrates his monster. He doesn't realize it's there until he attempts to attack Willow, which doesn't quite turn out as he had planned. He tries to be the Big Bad, he truly does. When he enters her dorm room, Spike intends to kill and vamp Willow (Btvs' standard rape metaphor* ) But the chip stops him and he is unable to perform. What happens next is a touching scene between two people in pain. Oddly enough, Spike accomplishes with Willow what Riley failed to do earlier, comfort her and make her feel wanted. We see him accomplish the same feat with Anya several episodes later in Where the Wild Things Are and in Season 6's Entropy.
Here's a portion of the scene in The Initiative, Season 4, Btvs:
Willow : It's me, isn't it?
Spike : What are you talking about?
Willow : Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. I--I... You didn't want to bite me. I just happened to be around.
Spike : Piffle!
Willow : I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's always like, "ooh, you're like a sister to me," or, "oh, you're such a good friend."
Spike : Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow : Really?
Spike sits on her bed again.
Spike : Thought about it.
Willow : When?
Spike : Remember last year, you had on that... Fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?
Willow : I never would have guessed. You played the blood-lust kinda cool.
Spike : Mmm. I hate being obvious. All fang-y and "rrrr!" Takes the mystery out.
Willow : But if you could...
Spike : If I could, yeah.
Willow : You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.
This scene, in a nutshell, demonstrates the similarities between the two characters. Both ache for some sort of acknowledgement. Whether that be acknowledgment of their peers, their enemies, or even loved ones. Willow is reeling from OZ's departure and the feeling that she is unimportant, like Spike - Willow's self worth was completely wrapped up in how her lover felt about her. Spike's self-worth is reflected by Drusilla, when Drusilla is gone, he becomes pathetic, the "shell of a loser". Willow is the same way - when OZ leaves, she becomes pathetic - resorting to alcohol then spells to make the pain go away, just like Spike did in Lover's Walk.
Spike and Willow's actions are largely motivated by love. It's their raison d'etre, their drug of choice. Through the love of another - their self-worth is either increased or decreased. Both are addictive personalities - and like most addictive personalities -"the good feelings associated with love" become a drug. It's not real love of course - but they don't know that. They don't realize that you can't love someone until you first love and respect yourself, without that, any love you provide is empty, because you don't believe you have anything worth giving, you're relying on the other person to provide everything. The object of your affection is providing you with your identity, your self-worth, etc. You are merely reflecting what they give you back at them, like a mirror. The more attention S/W receive from the object of their affection, whether it be purely physical or emotional, the better they feel. When that attention is removed, they go into severe with-drawl. They have no ego/no self outside of the one projected on them by the object of their affection, when that object is removed, they become lost in the same manner as someone who goes off cocaine or heroine may become "lost". They will do literally anything to regain that drug no matter what the cost. As a result - love or the lack thereof, as they define it, can motivate them to do good or evil.
When Spike loses Dru - his first response is alcohol, the second is a love spell.
Willow's first is magic, then alcohol, then the fateful "Will it So" spell of Something Blue, which almost gets her turned into a vengeance demon and results in her friends' deaths. When Tara fights with Willow in All The Way and threatens to leave in Tabula Rasa - Willow's first response is to cast a spell that rips away Tara's memories of the fight in All The Way and all of her memories in Tabula Rasa. Thus forcing Tara to stay with her. This act, while appearing somewhat mundane on the surface, is actually from Tara's point of view worse than a physical rape. Glory had brain-sucked Tara the year before and Tara lives in fear of losing her mind. It is amazing that Tara is able to forgive Willow for it, which she does in Entropy (Season 6). Spike reacts in a similar fashion when he loses Buffy. He tries alcohol. He tries magic to numb the pain. He tries sleeping with Anya for solace, which just makes the situation worse. (Entropy) And eventually, he does what Willow did, he physically forces his desires on his lover, attempts to recreate their relationship with force. (Seeing Red). This act, like Willow's mind-rape of Tara, sends him reeling, exacerbating the conflict inside him. So at first it appears that he just wants to get his chip removed then later, it becomes clear that he really just wants to improve himself for the person he loves. He wants to change the part of himself that caused Buffy pain. Willow does the same thing when she attempts to go off magic. She attempts to change the part of herself that caused her lover pain, the magic. But it takes her awhile to realize it was her dependence on magic that caused this. Just as it takes a while for Spike to realize that it was his demonic urges that caused him to hurt the woman he loves. The monster they prefer has cost them what they care about most. Worse - it has caused them to hurt that person in a horrible way. Remember - they are both addicted to what they are receiving from Buffy and Tara, when it is removed, they become desperate and try to take it back by force, then realize too late this act just pushes it further away. I'm not saying they do not have genuine feelings for Buffy and Tara, but until they learn to love and appreciate themselves they have nothing worthy to give B/T.
Their responses are oddly similar, they both try to destroy the monster. Apparently they've realized that the monster they've created to handle the geek is what is depriving them of the love they crave. So - get rid of the monster and we get the love back. Unfortunately it's not that simple. Tara prematurely comes back to Willow, only to lose her life, leaving Willow once again in severe withdrawl. Willow just went off the magic, she didn't build up her self-esteem or deal with her inner geek. She just switched from one drug to another - Tara. When Tara leaves - Willow predictably switches back to magic, just like she did in Smashed and Wrecked, just like she does when Oz left her. What Spike does is actually healthier than Willow; he, once again, appears to be doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. He decides to get a soul to regain Buffy's love. He should be getting it to improve himself - perhaps, in the end, he is, I'm not sure.
Let's back up a bit and check the side and rear view mirrors. How many times has Spike done the right thing for the wrong reasons? And what the heck do I mean by that anyway? Well - starting with Becoming - Spike helps save the world to get Dru back. Right thing - selfish reason. In Lover's Walk - he reveals Willow and Xander's whereabouts, commiserates with Joyce, and kills vampires - to help himself, again right thing, wrong reasons. In Initiative - he inadvertently comforts Willow because he's feeling sorry for himself. In Doomed - he helps save the world again, because he's bored and doesn't want to die. In New Moon Rising - he helps them rescue OZ - because Adam wants him to get in tight with SG. In Primeval, he switches sides and helps the SG because Adam decides to kill him and he doesn't want to get staked. In Season 5, he helps save the world again and protects Dawn, to win Buffy's favor and he loves Buffy. In Into the Woods - he reveals what Riley's doing with vamp trulls to break Buffy and Riley up. Now in Season 6, he fights alongside the SG all summer and helps Dawn to live up to his promise to Buffy in The Gift and assuage his guilt - getting closer to right reasons now. He continues to help them - because of Buffy. Yet, the more Spike helps, the weaker, Spike the vampire becomes.
Willow on the other hand is becoming quite powerful. By the end of Season 5 - Buffy tells Willow that she's the "big gun", she's even more powerful than Buffy. Willow is the only one who came close to harming Glory, a hell-god. By the Bargaining - Willow can communicate with everyone telepathically, move objects with her mind, levitate, and raise the dead. Spike on the other hand - can barely kill a vampire. The more Willow dabbles in dark magic, the more addicted she gets to the power, the closer she gets to the monster within. The more Spike tries to do the right thing and help the SG, the further he drifts from the source of his power and the further he gets from the vampire he is. As a result, Spike looks more like a man in Season 6 and Willow looks more like a force to be reckoned with. By Grave, the two characters have literally flip-flopped. Willow is in danger of losing her humanity or soul to the dark magic she wields while Spike is in danger of regaining his humanity or soul and losing his demonic identity.
In the last three episodes of Season 6: Spike's trials in Africa echo Willow's external uses of magic just as their lack of color in custom or makeup echo each other. The inter-cutting between the trials and Willows rampages demonstrates metaphorically where these two characters paths have led them. It also thematically shows the choices we can make regarding vengeance, rage, and grief. We can either fight this battle internally - and not lose ourselves possibly even regain a portion of the self we had lost, or we can unleash our rage, grief, pain and vengeance on the world around us, losing ourselves and possibly that world in the process. In Spike's first trial he fights a warrior with hands of fire. Willow exerts her power on herself and others through her hands - sending sparks of firey black magic at her victims. In one instance, the writers literally switch us from Willow's firey blast of Andrew and Jonathan to Spike's fight with the fire demon. Spike's struggle is internal - he is fighting against the fire of vengeance in himself - by fighting against the warrior which very well may be the external reflection of his need for vengeance. The test is one he chooses to undergo to better himself. Willow on the other hand, unleashes her vengeance on her friends and the Trio, in essence becoming the Warrior Demon, herself. Spike, meanwhile defeats the warrior demon and moves on to the next test. The second test is with two demons that he must chop the heads off of - this seems similar to Willows unleashing of the grave demons on Buffy and Dawn who must slay them with swords, chopping off their heads. Spike is in a sense slaying his grief, his pain at being rejected, maybe even his guilt. Willow is unleashing hers, her guilt at resurrecting Buffy, her grief at losing terror, her pain. Then we move onto Spike's final test - the insects and beetles (not described specifically as anything but beetles in the shooting script). The beetles represent rage - the type that crawls inside you and attempts to devour you whole. Spike's demonic rage at himself and Buffy for becoming what he and some fans believe to be a weak and pathetic creature. (Personally - I don't view him as weak - his attempts to change himself for the woman he loves show an incredible amount of strength. Also he has had to adapt to that chip - also a show of strength and resilience. I didn't need to watch him endure those horrible trials to believe this.) Spike endures the beetles. The beetles crawling over Spike are similar to the black magic text crawling up Willow's arms and invading her body. Willow unlike Spike does this on purpose. She is not enduring a trial. She willingly pulls the rage and violence out of the books and into her, relishing its power. Spike endures, screaming in agony. As a result the beetles clean him of his rage, his impure thoughts, and demonic desires. While Willow is filled with rage, Spike is cleaned of it.
At the end of Grave - Willow's humanity is saved by the combined forces of Xander and Giles. But she is hardly out of the woods. She has committed horrendous acts with her magic, destroying half of Sunnydale, killing Warren, attempting to kill all her friends. These acts have tainted her just as the dark forces she wields have. Spike, on the other hand, endures his trials and regains his soul. His actions have also tainted him but in the opposite direction. Spike was an evil soulless being, but by doing the right thing consistently for the wrong reasons - he has slowly become tainted by good. Now Spike has regained a sizable amount of his humanity back while Willow has lost a sizable amount of hers. In Becoming Spike was the evil, irredeemable Big Bad (or little Bad if you will) and Willow was the sweet loving human wanting to do good - now four years later, Willow is the evil, possibly irredeemable Big Bad and Spike has gone after his human soul. And these events occurred because of the characters' mutual desire to be loved. Willow's loss of Tara causes her to give up her humanity/soul and get lost in magic, Spike's loss of Buffy causes him to give up his demon identity and regain his soul/humanity. Love really can make you do the wacky.
So who won this match? The Powers of Good or the Forces of Darkness?
Is what Spike and Willow feel really love? Did Spike get a soul for the right reasons? Did Willow resort to magic for the wrong ones? Does it really matter why we choose to do what we do? Or is it what we choose to do that is most important? Is part of growing up - understanding why we do things and taking responsibility for the act as well as the reasons? If we can understand the reasons behind our actions - will we think twice before doing them? What if anything have Spike and Willow learned? And how has it changed them? Will Willow think twice before resorting to magic? Will Spike think twice before attacking someone, whether that be sexually or for food? I think so. I believe that the reasons are as important as the actions and I think both characters have learned a great deal this year about their own.
Thanks for reading. Hope this adds to the discussion and isn't a retread. :- ) shadowkat
Notes/Responses from posts on ATP and B C & S - (This is new on my part…but I think adds to the essay.)
· Vamping as rape metaphor: Several posters have strong feelings against this, seeing vamping in the "literal" fantasy sense. But in popular literature vamping has long been used as sexual seduction. Some authors, such as Ann Rice, have used it as a metaphor for Aids - the act of getting bitten by a vampire is sexually charged yet unleashes death by polluting your blood, so you are diseased. Joss Whedon in Season 1, Btvs avoided this metaphor as much as possible, even made fun of it in School Hard - Spike's line to Angel: "They still fall for all that Ann Rice stuff? What a world!" Season 2. Then suddenly we had the Angel/Angelus storyline. And of course - Spike's seductive capture of bad girl Sheila in School Hard. After Season 2, vamping took on a more sexually charged metaphor. And by Season 4, Spike's return to Sunnydale - he was portrayed as aggressive and sexually abusive before the chip. Both HLOD and The Initiative demonstrate this in his relationship with Harmony and his interactions with Willow and Buffy. Also both episodes are metaphorically about the objectifying of women and the errors of casual meaningless sex. Remember: BTvs operates on three levels. First the Buffyverse Fantasy Level, Then the metaphorical hero's journey level, then and most important to the writers - the real world rationalist level - ie. What real world horror do we want to deal with this week? At it's best, the real world level is subtly hinted at through metaphor - ie. The Initiative, at it's worst the real world level reads like an Afterschool Special - Wrecked and Seeing Red. But it is always there. The confusion lies in the fact - that outside of the Initiative and possibly HLOD - vamping was not used as a metaphor for rape in Btvs. Which may be why they did not rely on the vamping metaphor in SR, the writers wanted to make sure there was no ambiguity in what was being portrayed onscreen.
· Xander's love will save Willow, but Spike has no one, so is doomed? If you think that you missed the point of this essay. Someone else can't save us - we have to save us. If Willow gets involved with Xander, all she is doing is trading his love for Tara's - another drug. Willow needs to be able to stand on her own two feet. Leaning on Xander to do it is not healthy for either character. Actually I think Spike has a better chance - he is being forced to find his own way without the aid of anyone else that makes him stronger. He went after the soul on his own. Sometimes our greatest battles are interior ones and in those battles we are all alone. No one can save us. Xander's love can't save Willow - all it can do is point her in the right direction, a direction she will probably have to travel down alone to truly be whole. Once she is - then perhaps, she can give and receive love.
