Ze Quotes
No?
Sorry, everybody, but I deleted some quotes... as well as some names(I don't have their permission, and if they ever found out that I quoted them, they might get angry...)  I'm sorry if you're offended by some of these quotes, but they made me chuckle.  Ho ho!  Chuckle!
"I don't want you walking around like a nerd mobile."

Man: 
Is that a magic nickel?
Woman: 
Is that a magic nickel?!
                                       -people at DIA

"You know, I bet less people would smoke if it killed them immediatly..."
                                       -Sean Carlson

"I wish someone would bring me the paper every morning so I could have it for breakfast..."

                                       -Jackie Carlson

"Why do girls wear make-up?  Because they're ugly!"

"Have you ever seen a fat barbie doll?"


"Ah, it's such a beautiful day... TO BE ATTACKED BY TERRORISTS!!!"

                                       -on September 11, 2001

"Just...  Get away from me!"
                                       -me, to my pants

"Playing soccer with a bowling ball is fun! ...but I feel sorry for the goalie."

"Caution- plastic bag"
                                       -plastic bag

Customers who wear clothes also shop for...
                                       -Amazon.com

"Male.  Female.  Not sure."
                                       -options on a personality quiz

How to play with a friend:  Take turns.

                                       -The Legend of Zelda instruction booklet

"Yoshi's game is like a baby's bottom... smooth... but explosive!"
                                        -Sandy Green

"In order to win you have to know how to mate."
(She meant checkmate :-P )

"We all know that guys pee standing up, but I don't think any guys poop standing up."

"I wish I was strait like you..."

"...son of a bitch!  Sorry... I probably should say that.  Well... They said it in Harry Potter.  If you can say it in Harry Potter, you can say it here."
                               
         -Russ Wardinsky

IHOP waitress:
Can I get you something to drink?
Me:  Milk?
IHOP waitress:  Is 7UP OK?
(She didn't speak a whole lot of English, and I didn't speak a whole of Spanish.)

"I just think boys have... such... small... imaginations... Like: 'LET'S KICK EACH OTHER!!!'"
                                      -Arielle Aylor


drpuzzle1: is it a frat party?
HumanBean17: No.
HumanBean17:
You know how much I hate Frat boys.
drpuzzle1: I don't even know what that means
HumanBean17: They're losers.
HumanBean17: Stay away from them.
drpuzzle1: ok
drpuzzle1: I'll stay away from fat people