Speak of the Devil

...and you'll really frickin regret it. Anyway, I've decided to post all relevant information concerning this, because my roomates claim its funnier then all hell. I came up with a comparison speech for speech class the other week. I was comparing living with a gay roomate versus not living with a gay roomate. What follows is a table showing the notes I made to give my speech from, and a typed out version of the comments I got back from my teacher. Keep in mind, if you ever forget that I'm an idiot, that I actually gave this speech in class.

Living with a Gay Roomate vs Not Living with a Gay Roomate

XXXXXXX	With	Without
Fear	Had to fear going in my room sometimes--gross things	Can walk into room without fear of having to spew
Room	Had to share room--gay decorations, candles, and flowers	Got my own room with my own decorations
TV	He watched Lifetime--favorite show was Murphy Brown	Now I can watch Anime and Sonny Chiba movies
Changing	I put up a sheet to change behind	Now I can take off my pants without fear
Bed	Twin bed	Pushed 2 twins together = King size
Sleep	Sometimes impossible because he was on the phone... et cetera	Now I can sleep easier
Conversation	Got to hear about his "exploits"	Now conversations sadly lacking "gay perspective"
Message Board	Used to contain "Dave's advice of the week"	Now contains the gay joke of the week
Suite	4 people	3 people

My class seemed to somewhat enjoy my speech. In fact, they seemed very amused by it, which you are hopefully experiencing as well, right now. I say hopefully because not everyone enjoyed it. Case in point, my teacher, who wrote me the following comments:

• You have to be careful of your subject choices in public speaking. Let's talk about this.
• 2 issues are at stake here--confidentiality and ethical considerations.
• As you continued in your speech, I got more and more concerned about ethical considerations--it seems to me you used this situation to make yourself look good at the expense of another human being.

I'd like to address only one of those points right now, the last one, because I know doing the first two were probably stupid, just not why. As any of you who have ever read this website before know, I always use the situation to make myself look good at the expense of another human being. It's what I do. It's also an easy way to make yourself look good, without making any real accomplishments.

Anyway, I hope you all got a good laugh out of this, since because of it I have to give a final in speech class, which I think I would have been exempted from gradewise if I had done a higher quality speech instead of this one.

--Scuba Steve, April 18, 2001