Posted: December 2003
Title: Pain and Oaths
Author: Iamme
Type: FPS
Pairing: Celeborn/Orophin
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I profit from the use of these characters.
Warnings: Character death (Haldir)
Beta: Alex
Summary: Orophin and Celeborn are having a hard time with life after Haldir is killed on the borders of Lothlorien.

******

Orophin solemnly dressed in his uniform. When Haldir had been killed, he had been promoted to Captain, leaving him all the responsibilities that Haldir had been burdened with in life. He now understood the sometimes arrogant and harsh demeanor. Still, he never doubted his brother’s love for them.

Orophin could not help but remember how his brother had fallen, taking the arrow meant for Lord Celeborn. He had died valiantly, defending Lothlorien, as Haldir would have wanted. Still he could not help but think that there was something he could have done. He had seen the orc firing, the arrow flying for his lord’s chest. He had called Haldir, and he had pushed Lord Celeborn out of the way. Haldir had taken the projectile through the throat. Orophin had tried to fight his way to him but only made it in time to see the light fade from his eyes. The guardian closed his eyes, he did not remember much after that. He had gone into a rage, slaughtering every orc that was unfortunate enough to cross his path.

Orophin picked up the cloak his brother had worn that day, running his fingers over the long dried patch of blood, dropping it back on to the dresser before picking up his own red cloak and pinning it in place with the same pin his father and brother had worn proudly unto their deaths.

***

Orophin walked towards the city. He could not help but think about his return to the fighting. No longer on the borders of Lorien, but there was still much to be done. Would tomorrow find his life’s blood running out?

The Marchwarden shook his head; he would not let these thoughts haunt him this night. Tonight, there was to be a celebration, for the victory they had achieved. Haldir would want him to enjoy this night, though somehow Orophin doubted that he would.

Orophin was still solemn as he walked into the clearing, where the party had been going long enough for a dance to begin. Orophin still could not find it in his heart to engage in such things. He could not help but smile, though, at seeing an elleth on Rumil’s arm. His arm was still bandaged and he was obviously milking it for all it was worth. It was only a broken wrist, after all. Orophin’s smile faded though, when he saw Lord Celeborn watching him. He had known about the relationship the Silver Lord had shared with his brother, even though the rest of Lorien seemed oblivious. His brother had lived, loved and, in the end, died for Celeborn, Lord of Lothlorien, former prince of Doriath.

Lord Celeborn himself looked tired. The victory was costly and he had paid in many ways as well. Orophin would not hold his brother’s death against him, for he would have done the very same had he been in Haldir’s position. He walked over and knelt before his Lord and Lady, waiting for them to speak.

“Mae Govannen, Orophin.”

“Mae Govannen, M’lord, M‘lady.”

Galadriel's voice was gentle in his mind, caressing him softly, “Stand Orophin, go and try to ease your sorrows some, your heart bears much sorrow.”

“Thank you, M'lady.”

Orophin bowed and turned, before he made his way into the throngs of those gathered.

Orophin watched his Lord throughout the night; he seemed every bit as miserable as he, though he was hiding it better. Orophin himself did not feel like dancing, and he would not ruin Rumil’s fun. Still, he could not leave without his Lord or Lady’s leave. He sat sipping the sweet mead they had set out, politely greeting those who spoke to him but little more. He was relieved as the Elf Lord finally walked towards him, motioning him to follow.

Celeborn led him away from the clearing, away from the city. The silver tears rolled down his Lord’s cheeks in silence, and Orophin said nothing. It was almost 30 minutes later when Celeborn stopped at the foot of a tree and climbed up to the flet. He never doubted that his Captain was behind him.

When Orophin arrived to the top, he raised a brow at the bedroll that was already spread out, and the pack that his lord was rummaging through, emerging with two flasks. Lord Celeborn handed Orophin one. He removed the robe he was wearing and hung it over a branch and then sat resting comfortably against the tree. Celeborn took a drink of the flask and swallowed hard as it burned its way down his throat. Orophin knew that he had been brought there for a reason. He could wait for the tears to subside to question his Lord. He would not condemn the elf lord, though many would have, for the loss of a lover he should not have had.

Orophin opened the flask and took a drink, almost choking on the strong liquor inside. Orophin nodded in approval, and took another drink waiting, on Lord Celeborn's tears to subside.

***

The moon was high in the sky by the time that Lord Celeborn spoke, “I am sorry for the loss of your brother, Orophin. He was a great warrior, I loved him dearly.”

Orophin nodded, looking at the flask; he felt light and warm from the liquid fire he had consumed. He felt as if there was nothing that could not be said and he felt mildly suspicious that that was his Lord’s plan, but he did not care. “I know, M’lord, and he loved you as well.”

“I know he did, Orophin. I wish he were still here. Soon I will be alone. Galadriel will leave these lands soon. Our time is over but I cannot find it in my heart to leave Arda just yet. This is my home and always has been. I am sure Valinor is beautiful, but it will never be home. “

Orophin knew how his Lord felt, he had started to feel the call but was hesitant to leave just yet, knowing what he was leaving behind. They had all sacrificed so much for these lands. “I understand, M’lord, I will stay until you decide to sail. I am not Haldir but I would not forsake my oath to you. “

Celeborn smiled a little and looked to Orophin. “I did not think you would, Guardian. Though I was hoping that you would... ” Celeborn shook his head and looked away. “No, it cannot be. “

Orophin moved over closer and rested his hand on Lord Celeborn’s shoulder. “There is nothing I would not do for you, Lord Celeborn. I pledged my life to you when I took my oath.”

Celeborn looked into Orophin’s eyes and knew the guardian did not comprehend what he was wanting, needing of him and did not know how to ask him; instead, he leaned in and pressed his lips to the younger warrior’s.

Orophin gasped at Lord Celeborn kissing him, not knowing what to do so he did the only thing he could think of. Orophin parted his lips for the elf lord and let him claim his mouth in a breath-stealing kiss. Celeborn only pulled away long enough to allow them both to claim another breath and then his lips were there again, his hands running over Orophin’s chest, his red cloak falling to the floor of the flet.

Lord Celeborn removed Orophin’s tunic before running his hands up and under the soft silken shirt of his dress uniform. His lips ran across his throat, leaving fiery trails of need that raced through Orophin’s body.

“Lord Celeborn, this is not right. I am not Haldir.”

Lord Celeborn pulled back and looked into his eyes and kissed him softly. “I know you are not Orophin, nor do I want you to be. I need someone, there is no one left for me to love any longer. I do not want you to be Haldir. I just want you to be the one with me when the sun rises in the morning. I need this, Orophin, I need you this night.”

Orophin knew he should not but when those hands ran through his hair, he could not help but shudder with need. Orophin swallowed hard, licking his suddenly dry lips, “As my lord wishes.”

Celeborn unlaced Orophin’s leggings, causing the younger elf to gasp as his fingers caressed him, feeling the waves of pleasure rushing over him. Orophin began removing Lord Celeborn’s clothing as well and soon, the only things upon them were the warmth of each other’s skin as they caressed each other’s heated bodies and the cool night air fanning the flames.

Celeborn reached over to the pack and pulled out the vial of oil and Orophin knew that he had planned this, had known it all along. Right now it did not matter. Tomorrow it would, but tonight he would let Celeborn use him. Maybe then he would not feel the guilt of his brother’s death so deeply.

Celeborn lifted Orophin’s legs over his shoulders and poured some of the oil over his fingers before pressing the first one against the tight ring of flesh guarding Orophin’s body and felt him tense.

“Shhh… Relax, Orophin, I will not hurt you.”

“I know M’lord…I know…” Orophin closed his eyes and let his body relax. He kept his breathing deep and even, knowing what Celeborn was searching for knowing the discomfort would soon become pleasure.

Celeborn smiled when he found the little gland, brushing his finger across it. Orophin’s mouth flew open in a silent moan as Celeborn caressed his hidden pleasure spot. The elven lord did not want to wait any longer. It had been too long and the night would not last forever. He settled himself between the legs of his Captain, the head of his silken flesh settling at the entrance. There was enough of Haldir in Orophin to bring back old memories but enough of someone different that he would never mistake one for the other and that gave him a small bit of comfort, in that it had meant that he wanted Orophin for himself, and not because of Haldir.

Orophin opened his eyes and saw Celeborn staring down at him; for a long moment, they watched each other and then the elf lord picked up the bottle of oil and poured it over his length, setting it aside before gripping Orophin’s hips and pressing forward.

Orophin moaned as Lord Celeborn brushed across his prostate once more and his hands grasped the blankets beneath him. Their joining was swift and fiery, both coming all too soon. The second was slower with softer touches and languorous kisses.

When all was done, Celeborn pulled him into his arms and kissed his hair. His arms wrapped around him. Ithil still graced the sky but the feel of morning was in the air, Anor would rise in about an hour. Still they were in Lord Celeborn‘s private land and no one would disturb them, but then the spell would be broken and Orophin would have to face the world again.

Celeborn nuzzled his neck, “It is not your fault, Orophin, there is nothing you could have done.”

Orophin turned in his Lord’s arms and looked at him. There was pain there but also understanding.

“There is nothing neither of us could have done differently.”

Orophin shook his head and felt tears began to spill for the first time, releasing his pain and guilt as Lord Celeborn held him, soothing him. “I wish I could believe that, I really do but I should have been there for him.”

Celeborn placed his hands on Orophin’s face and forced him to look, really look into his eyes. “Haldir knew what would happen, he knew where his path lay and he was not afraid of it. We have to accept that.”

Orophin swallowed and felt his lip began to tremble and Celeborn released him. Orophin buried his head in his Lord’s chest and sobbed till he felt empty and then he held him till a healing sleep over came him.

When Orophin awoke, he was spooned in Lord Celeborn’s arms, the trees shading them from Anor’s glare. He was not sure about what had happened the night before but he felt a little better. Though he would be more careful about drinking with Lord Celeborn from now on.

THE END